He said I don’t want to kiss you in the morning

We are almost 3 years together. I met him when I was 19, he was 22. We loved each other so much. But we had some problems:sex(my vagina was big), trust issues (he didn’t trust me, that’s why I also could trust him enough), misunderstanding and also we often were insulting each other telling bad words. We live together and yesterday he told me : “I don’t love you. I don’t want to be with you. I don’t want to kiss you in the morning. I don’t want to talk to you and I don’t want to hug you. We don’t spend our time together”((haha guys we are 24/7 together)) It seems to me that yesterday I lost my desire to save these relationships. And now I’m afraid how to live alone (I have never had such experience), love myself and not to close inside of myself. In future I want to have beloved person who will be my best friend my soulmate and my love and our cute kids running around the house. But now I’m afraid I will never have this. People, can you give me some support? I will value this so much.

 

Sounds like the relationship was doomed. You will be better off in the long term, even though it's painful now. You are young, there's so much more waiting for you. It's like jumping in the pool, don't let fear stop you. The rest of the world awaits!

 

In these circumstances, good advice. It also sounds as if the relationship was mainly physical and that rarely ends up well.

 

Well if you are 22 now, you are still young and have so much more life to live. Make the most of it and be strong.

I once had an amazing relationship that I was 100% in to.
Anyway, when she ended it I was distraught for a long time until an older generation Aunt suggested I just learn to live on my own and keep in better contact with my normal friends. I followed that advice. I found that my friends weren't people who just wanted to meet up for stuff but, actually, they cared about me. (And I them). So, with their 'support', I re-established myself and I learned more about myself and what I would want from any new relationship. It also gave me the ability to choose if I want to be with someone rather than feeling like I needed to be with one. That has improved my life immensely.

I'm more selective now, than I was then, in deciding who I want within my inner circle of friends because I am much more comfortable in my own skin.
I met up with that ex a few years back, 20 yrs after she ended it. We both felt the spark but for me the attraction wasn't there because I learned so much about her after it all ended.

So, if a suggestion would be of use to you it's this:
Learn to live on your own two feet, emotionally and financially. Step back from your emotional involvement with him because he wants you to and later, when you see it from a different perspective, you'll probably know it was right to end. Right for you).
You'll then be in a better emotional place too so that when you do meet someone else (don't rush into anything), you'll have more to give that new person and you'll be more aware of what you want and need from a relationship.

I hope that helps and if I may say so, 19 is a very young age to commit for life to someone. Yes, many do it but I know several who would do things differently if they had that decision to make again.

hth.

 

I overlooked that part I've just quoted.
Make new friends from a more diverse section of the community. Join some local groups, eg photography, hiking or whatever so the activity is the focal point more than the other individuals. That way you'll just get to know people without quizzing them or such like. In my experience, friendships that grow organically without pressure and with commonality between you and the other person will be much more long-lasting, stronger and deeper.

 

I’d like you to see my another post on a different topic connected with this very boyfriend … Maybe you’ll see situation differently

 

I thank you for your extended and great answer to my post! I like reading other people’s stories, especially those with a good end, where people end up being loved by themselves first and open to world and everything new.. It’s nice to realise. I was growing up in a family where my parents didn’t express love to my that much, both mum and dad, they were 3-4 months abroad, then 2 -3months back home and that was all the time I remember them, I was growing up with my sister who was 8 years older than me and the absence of support and love made my insecurities bigger, I found my only calmness in sweets, I put on a lot of weight, which I further had to lose, that’s why my boobs became loose and now I plan to do surgery because I don’t like it.. I don’t like my fat stomach, but sometimes I really don’t care and think that I’m enough, but then my bf tells me some joke about me, triggering my weak spots… it’s like endless circle… he substituted me the greatest love I didn’t receive in childhood (at the beginning of our relationships): made sure I’m not hungry, always playing with my hair, kissing me, calming me down, walking with me, cuddling me, cooking for me, spending a lot of time with me, he told me the words : you are the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen, I love you most in this world, I’m so happy I met you, I want to have kids from you … but with time it was all getting somewhere away (now he tells me that it’s my fault that he is not that guy who was at the beginning of the relationships), we rented one room together in three room apartment with 6 other people, than we together moved to one room apartment and lived alone and I always paid my part, bought some products and so on, I gave him presents about which he dreamt, I loved him as no one else, I listened to his pieces of advice, then we moved to home where I lived bc my parents are anyway abroad and we have lived here for already 1 year and he is still here, living life like nothing happened, although I don’t fell any intimacy with him, we’re like people who were close some time ago and still remember that times and habitually continue kissing hugging and even having sex… but this sex is destroying me and him, you can read it here What should I do? Share your experience please
I don’t know what to say else. He beat some weeks after when I confessed him in having anal sex at 15 till 18 with my ex-bf, then he beat me once more because of this, he always reminds me that telling I’m bad and other children were doing something different while I was having sex… then he accused me of having sex with his friend (never) and he believed that (he was under lsd) and he tells me I’m betrayer but he is not sure 100%, I told him I’m ready to go on polygraph, but he doesn’t want. And I don’t know why he continues to live with me although as he said he didn’t love me, oh yeah, he beat me few times after (probably I was provoking him)… regardless everything I said I still love him so much and want to be close with him but he doesn’t let me in… he said he doesn’t trust me… I want him to propose me, I want him to love me, not other man, but if he decides he doesn’t want to be with me and tells me he is leaving - I’m ready. I’m tired of it, I think I’m not that bad person I deserve to be loved by man of my dreams.

 

He doesn't respect you which means he doesn't love you. There is never any excuse for being violent with a partner.

You can't make anyone love you. You say you're ready for him to leave and you're tired of it. My strong suggestion is that you take the initiative and leave. Only then, I think, may you find a man of your dreams.

 

Leave him NOW. Physical abuse is a BIG red flag. He did this because of sexual activity in your teens? If he's starting with that I don't want to think where this will lead. You never, ever deserve to be beaten.
And why would he want to be with you if he doesn't love you? Answer: he wants to control you. He needs to believe you're not faithful even to the point to believe you're cheating with his friend. You don't need or deserve such attention.
I understand love is difficult to find. I respect you want it very much. I know I do. That's not what you're living in. Far from it. You're living in dysfunction. Parts of it look fine and are difficult to give up. But you know very well it's bullshit. "I’m tired of it, I think I’m not that bad person I deserve to be loved by man of my dreams." There's your proof.

 

It sounds like you have not met the man of your dreams yet.