Bipolar And Depression

I really cant figure out what is normal to feel. I was an alcoholic since 16 until nov 2012 when I finally gave up took a lot of pills and ended up in the psych ward of the local hospital. the drinking made me hopeless but my mind drove me crazy. After a month there I was diagnosed bipolar and clinically drepressed when I left the meds seemed to be helping. but the last few years I have been on and off the meds, my choice, I discovered that hydromorphone worked better to get thru the the days 60 to 90 mg a day. but a year ago that supply ended and have been all over dilidaud , morphine , meth and now in desperation have found a source for clonazepam. The drinking has been on the back burner because the pills are much more effective. I am sitting on 180 clonazepam pills and hope they do the job. Any suggestions on how to get the best high out of these.

 

First, I want you to know I'm not being preachy or anything like that. I just speak from experience.

I am also an alcoholic. I drank heavily for 20+ years to self medicate, for my nerves I told myself. Eight years ago I finally gave it up for good, I hope. I had to admit myself to the hospital to get it done, the 30 day and 30 night kind of hospital.

A couple of years ago my symptoms of depression and anxiety got so bad I couldn't even leave the house; I was terrified I was going to lose my job and that drove me to seeking out professional help (and good professional help is hard to find, I admit that.) I also was diagnosed with bipolar and depression. After several false starts, and with the help of my psychiatrist, I finally found a combination/dosage of medications that alleviate the worst of my symptoms. I still have some bad days of course, but so does everyone else on Earth.

In my opinion you are messing with the wrong drugs...they, like the alcohol before that, will seem to be working for a while. But it gets out of control...fast. I would try SSRIs combined with Abilify and find a dosage that works for you. It has done wonders for me, more than I ever thought possible. And don't just stop taking them, the longer you take them the better they start to work.

I hope this helps in some small way. Good luck to you.

 

I have been considering asking my family doctor to see if my meds can be changed because after 4 yrs I njust don't know if they are working. It just feels like I am desperately trying to find something that will make me comfortable in my own skin and able to go out and socially be involved. Thanks for the message

 

You will build tolerance and immunity to drugs. Doctors are used to this and they can change things around so that medication starts to help you again.

I would really go to the family doctor and let them sort out the best plan.

 

so I think I will cal me doctor and book the apt, something has to change because I know where hopeless took me before. I just hope she will listen and understand, not that I want to admit to all the drugs I have been using I hope it doesn't mess things up because I am an addict as well as an alocoholic. I just need her to understand how hard it is to make it thru a day feeling nothing and being so confused. thanks for your help.

 

I love hearing positive recovery stories. I've known too many people in my life who have destroyed their lives with alcohol. It is so nice to hear from someone who has been sober for a long time and gotten their life under control.


Also to the OP, i hope you and your doctor are able to come up with a plan and a medication regimen tha t helps you find some peace

 

Lately I've been in a much more meditative state and I'm finding it good for dealing with highs and lows of bipolar. It's also making sex fantastic. The last two days.... I can't even.... it just feels so good.

 

Depression and Anxiety are the most killing diseases can human get, i have an anxiety of getting sick since i was a teenager and this year it get really bad because i was afraid to get the Covid-19, i stayed in my house for 2 months and never got out, i stayed all depressed and alone, once i opened the for the delivery guy and he was coughing, i got really scared that night, i stayed up all long time thinking if he has the virus and if i already got infected, in the next morning i woke up with throat sore and got panic !! I searched for reviews of the best hospitals in US for which one is doing the PCR test, i went and did the test and thankfully it was negative but i lived really bad night ! now i think the Depression and Anxiety are worse than the Covid-19.

 

Sorry that your sister is going through this @AlexL

These links might be helpful
Alternative Treatments for Physical and Mental Illness
Self-Treatment Methods for Physical and Mental Health

I think it's ok to try alternative and self-treatment methods to treat depression, but if she's at risk for a suicide attempt, she should probably be under the supervision of a doctor and maybe getting medication. Medication can be tricky for people under 25 though, as some meds tend to have some bad side effects or are less effective for younger people.

 

There is a link between bi-polar and hyper sexuality. Just be aware.