Jimbee68's blog

And like my podiatrist recently revealed, neuropathy is a progressive illness. It has not cure and it always follows and inevitable course. I obviously have in it my feet and legs. My neurologist admitted to that, before he went into the lying and denial mode he is in now. And I obviously have it in my hands, at least my right hand. Which I just noticed last. It only becomes numb occasionally, but it is very noticeable. He never admitted to that, but he gave me tests for it, so he must know. But my podiatrist said I will eventually lose all sensation where I have the neuropathy. At age 85 he said. I don't know if was exaggerated or lying or just trying to make a point. I think I will probably be dead by 85, from all the other problems I have. But if he meant lose all sensation before I die, that means I will be a quadriplegic some day. Like I said, my whole life is built around driving. My quality of life, my safety and welfare and happiness. All that is important and all that I just take for granted. A person could drive without feet, but not without hands. I guess maybe I could drive with one hand using a spinner knob on the steering wheel. But to get that I will have to have a legal guardian who doesn't ignore me and stop returning my calls when I ask for things that are more expensive. And plus people will have to admit my case exists, admit my problems, like neuropathy in my hands, exists. All the lying will have to stop, along with just the terrible way I have been treated up to this point. And like I said, I will not allow someone to put me in a group home ever. Especially not one of those Detroit group homes. My quality of life and my life as I define it is at my home, living independently alone with my cat, and driving. And like I've said, I will also face some tough medical decisions some day, including end of life decisions. Which will be based on things like my quality of life and how much medical consent I have. But of course I will never know how much medical consent I have, because I will always have to assume people are lying to me. Like Wayne County Probate Court and the police did when they lied to me and had my doctors told me I was doing well, while damage was being done to my limbs and organs from years of that unnecessary Olanzapine, which I never approved of or consented to in the first place. Because they thought I might stop taking it if I found out. Well yeah, I probably would have. So would have they. I'm going to be face with tough medical decisions, I'll have to make them on my own always assuming the people in my life are lying to me and withholding important information from me, all while I struggle to maintain the life that is important to me and that has defined who I am for the past 35 years.

But as I said, on the subject of difficult medical decisions and end of life decisions for me, and medical consent in general, my argument will always be the same. All the damage, all the medical problems, all the horrible trying situations I was or am in, all the times I ever considered suicide too, all of that, and all of the ways that it could relate to my legal status and legal rights, was the fault of Wayne County Probate Court, the police and Eric alone. It was their fault and their fault alone. They hurt an innocent person and they continue to do it. They have proven what they are capable of and that they can't be trusted, and they continue to do it now, I will always say. And then for the record I will always recall what happened, what they did in the past, and what is going on now.

Like I said, I researched the topic of driving in Michigan and driving rights here and driving rights in the US in general around 2004, when all that nonsense with my car began. Began like I said for no legitimate reason then, it must have had something to do with my suicide attempt in April. My suicide attempt that was brought on by years of threats and psychological abuse by things like what happened at Oakwood Hospital in 1989 and Dearborn with that coffee-pouring incident in 2001. I always knew that I was very good driver, better than most even. People like me should never have their right to drive questioned in any way. And yet they did, and suddenly around 2005 like I said. I also knew that people with epilepsy can drive in Michigan if they are seizure free for at least a year. I was thinking at the time maybe that wasn't such a good idea. If a person could have a sudden, unexpected seizure, should they be driving at all? Or I was thinking then, as I was thinking when I started driving around 1989, about people who are illiterate. I certainly don't have that problem. But I knew they could drive, and I recently read that would never be a reason alone to deny someone a license in the US. And some people who are illiterate are good drivers with good insurance. Most road signs are pretty obvious what they mean. The symbols on them and even words that you can recognize make it clear what they are. But what about a road sign that says "bridge out in three miles, take second exit on the left"? With a sign like that it is very important that you know its exact meaning. And like I said, though I don't know my exact IQ or grade level, I certainly am at a normal reading and other level. I can read roads signs a paragraph long in a glance. And yet the police started telling me then I looked to mentally handicapped to be driving. Which in itself is ridiculous, because I read that the mentally handicapped in Michigan can drive. They have the same rights that everyone does until the opposite is proven. So why do the police think they are above the law and can ignore that rule? Plus most of the people in Detroit really have no business driving at all. Most don't have insurance. Many have suspended licenses. And many really don't obey any of the rules or laws of the road, unlike me. Shouldn't the police be fighting all the crime there is in Detroit and Michigan before they start following some private agenda to go after an innocent person like me?

Like I said, the issue of justice suddenly started coming up in the media and other places around this time, as if not by accident. And the issue of driving and the rights of certain groups to drive too. When the 2004 Al Pacino movie The Merchant of Venice came out in 2004 it almost seemed like it was no accident. Our probate lawyer Karl Schettenhelm told me he really liked the play's message and heartily endorsed my studying it. In addition to the fact he wanted me to see its message of mercy, I later found that it was also because he seemed to feel I should show mercy to people to the degree that they could just walk all over me. Like at the Detroit Public Library Redford Branch around then. They had a policy at the library at the time that you could get ten copies off the internet for free, but no more than that. There was this blonde haired librarian there then who was very obnoxious with me. I did nothing wrong, but she would give me dirty looks and go out of her way to be rude to me when I was there. And one time I was getting copies off the internet. And she asked me if I got more than ten. I told her not really because most of the copies that I got were ruined and blank paper even. Oh no she said, that still counts as a copy. I told Mr. Schettehelm about her and the unequal way she treated me in general when I was there. I said maybe I should file a discrimination report, because her behavior by then was really beginning to cross the line. And Mr. Schettenhelm said no. He said discriminations claims of that kind are never successful. As a lawyer he could tell me that. Plus he told me when you file a discrimination complaint like that, then people you don't know will start following you around. It's clear what Mr. Schettenhelm's views were of me and my rights. But that movie the Merchant of Venice was interesting, as was the play. The message of the play was of mercy. But not mercy to those who take advantage of it. Or who use the mercy or fair treatment they get from the justice system to violate the rights of others. On the subject of misusing the justice system against someone and misusing legal authority in general that way, the duke says to Shylock "How shalt thou hope for mercy, rend’ring none?" Meaning if you mistreat people that way and the justice system has been lenient to you up till then, that could suddenly change. Especially how that quote actually has an ironic meaning foreshadowing the end of that court room scene in the play. As does the irony of the warning Portia gives Shylock when she tells him that in the course of justice none of us should see salvation. We do pray for mercy and that same prayer teaches us all to render the deeds of mercy. Meaning if you are misusing the very flawed, very human justice system to settle some personal matter you may find yourself at the mercy of it, as Shylock does at the end of that scene again. And how the word mercy takes on a double meaning for Shylock in both of those quotes.

So just to review my demands and what I expect now (and this list may not be complete):

• I want all the forced medicating to stop. I refuse all psychiatric medications, unless it is with my consent. My informed consent, which means that Wayne County Probate Court, the Detroit Police and Eric my guardian are never going to hurt me again, all while they keep that information from me. Leaving me now with permanent lifelong damage that they don't care about. Like with the car, they don't think I can manage that way. They just don't care. Like when they harm other people in their job. Harm them like they did with me I'm sure many times, the public just doesn't know.

• I want everyone involved, including like I just said Wayne County Probate Court, the Detroit Police and Eric, to pay me monetary damages, and to make sure I have all the things I need now that they have permanently left me this way. Left me this way and now without any family or personal support too. And I expect those three, especially the police, to make sure I always have a car and all that is required for that. After putting me thru those 20 years of hell. Some kind of St. Scholastica test it almost seemed, I don't know. A moral test, because I was good driver with good insurance. And like I said, when I told them the harm it would do and the danger I would be in, they started teasing me like a child. People without cars are so much happier that way. Take the bus, it's fun! Your furthest doctor is 25 miles away and you'd have to take endless bus transfers and then hop on the SEMTA bus system. Yes. But have you ever tried it! Etc. No they're never going to do that again. And they'll make sure I can always have a car. Because like I said, I plan to always bring it up. And also give details of all they did, the last time happening in 2013 like I've said.

• I want all involved to be held accountable in whatever applies to the fullest extent of that law. Or at the very least I want it exposed. Exposed not just what the Detroit police, court and Eric did to me, but what they did to other people. My therapist seems to suggest they did something, and they'd get in a lot of trouble for it. Which is good all Americans, and at least decent police officers, would agree.

• I want the veil of secrecy to be dropped. And like I said above, I want all they did exposed to the world. Or if they don't, I will. And maybe others can uncover what was done to them. Or what was done to their elderly relative suffering from dementia who the family did this to, whatever their motives.

• And I want the full status of Cerebral Palsy, and whatever else I was born with. They may already know, some people hint. Yet I get none of the special care I need, none of the support and special items I may need, especially now that I am damaged, and neuropathy is permanent always follows an inevitable course. Special items I already need, and just the instructions I was never given, early on in life when I should have been, to deal with my number one and number two issues. And all the accommodations I will need to live independently that way. Which as I said includes living in a private house with my cat, never a group home. Where they'd lock the door and I wouldn't be able to tell the world what they are doing to me there. A house, enough to live on and a car. Always a car, to repeat once again. And all of this given to me now that I am elderly and like I told one of my doctor's medical assistants. I don't have time to go to a class to learn all the things I need to know for all of that. Etc.

• And like I said, if my medical consent or knowledge of things is being limited because those three, and many others, knowingly abused me and made me feel suicide was the only option at times in my life, we need to look into that too. I am not suicidal, I have a strong will to live and have always been rational. I just don't like being abused or faced with suffering that never ends. And now that they put me in a position where I may face that some day when I finally die, a painful death, or even a death with limited medical care or care that is not suited to my special needs. Or where I just won't know what is even going on then with my consent, thanks to them. Since I know forms can be faked, affidavits can be falsely sworn on, court proceedings can be shams. Really things that no one should even be allowed to do in the most extreme cases, which my case never was anyways. So I know what they are capable of, we all do now. And we all also know that they have taken absolutely no steps, none at all, in all this time to regain my trust. If anything they just keep teasing and taunting me along, like they did with the car thing. That will always be my argument. And along with the car thing and the other thing I will always bring it up and always make clear everyone knows what they did to me and what they are doing now.

Well like I said, that's it for now. And I'm sure I left something out because I am not reading from a list or anything. But I may make a new list. And maybe take it with me, since I know like I found out inpatient at Sinai-Grace recently, once in a place like that you have no access to the outside world. Or computers, files, papers or even stationery really.

EDIT: And there is something about the car issue I forgot to include. For twenty years they were trying to bring it up. It started suddenly around 2005 for really no reason. Obviously nothing do with my driving ability or driving record. 2005, so probably something more to do the suicide attempt the police and court and people like Oakwood Hospital drove me to in 2004. And everywhere people hinted at it, hinted at that nonsense they knew by now I was aware was going on. Dr. Chang, the Detroit police and Dearborn police. Then in 2013 I was surprised to learn that Oakland County and medical first responders there were somehow involved in all of that too. I was endangered, I was threatened by that horrible possibility of losing my only means of transportation, for my independence and my safety and welfare. I was abused too, with a horrible violent threat. And whatever the reason for everyone who took part in that, they were participants and accessories to all of that. And it was so wrong for any reason. Like I was telling that guy at that new place recently about what my eye doctor said around then. They don't take away your license unless they absolutely have to. And even then they probably wouldn't. He never did it, he told us. It's really up to that individual and his family to realize if there is any reason why they shouldn't be driving. The police said that to you? He said. And then this year I learn that really most of the people in Detroit are the ones who have no business driving. Most have no insurance. Along with suspended licenses and outstanding warrants. The lady next door told us she didn't even bother to renew her license anymore. That, and all the abuse and lawlessness that was going on right in my own neighborhood. And that goes on in the city I live in. All while the police who we trust to fight that were following around a poor defenseless, innocent handicapped man like me. Following him to parks and telling him he looked suspicious to them, even when I've never been in jail. And the guy who worked for me said I don't look mentally ill or suspicious at all, if that's what I think.

But like the other two, there is a record of all of this. And I am going to make sure it is looked into for the rest of my life. That, and what this nonsense is about mentally ill, handicapped and other groups driving to begin with. Why the police would target them at all and not instead use their hours that we taxpayers pay for fighting crime and abuse. As I said, I thought back then it was because driving is a privilege and not a right in this country. Plus early in my life at least, it was used as a wedge issue to prove I couldn't take care of myself and be self-sufficient. Is that what is for others? I am going to spend the rest of my life always bringing that up and having that looked into. I'd rather enjoy a good quality of life when this is all over with. But like I said, I'll never know when it is over with. I'll always have to assume I am being lied to.

And just to emphasize those three points that I will never stop repeating till the day I die. First of all, I obviously do have some form of Cerebral Palsy. My neurologist did say "Cerebral Palsy" due to "birth trauma" in 2011. I clearly recall he did. I don't know to what extent or what that means because I am not a doctor. But he did use all those words. And now he is denying it and denying he ever said that, which a lie plain and simple. I've had Cerebral Palsy all my life. That and perhaps a couple of other things. And it must have been obvious to more than one person. I've been weak and vulnerable. I've never harmed anyone and never was a bad person. And yet people mentally abused me, they denied me my most basic rights, they treated me worst than the worst criminal. And they won't even tell me the reason why. Clearly nothing I did. My therapist also told me that I have been followed around and observed all my life by the police, but he wouldn't go into detail. This seems to be a time of revealing secrets that were long hidden, much like 2011 seemed to be. And now that Wayne County Probate Court, the Detroit, Dearborn and Oakland County police, Eric and all the rest have left me permanently damaged, and probably in need of special care for the rest of my life, someone has to held accountable and someone will have to pay for all of that. And that starts with an end to all the secrecy in my life, along with the uncovering of all this secrecy and secret guardianships in Michigan. And secret abuse of mental patients and following them around. And we need to especially uncover any serious harm that was done this way. Like I've said, my therapist says I could get people into a lot trouble uncovering all this. So that leads me to believe something like that did happen.

And I will emphasize the car issue and bring it up in every new situation, medical and legal and other. I was good driver with a good record and I license and insurance. And starting around 2005, for absolutely no legitimate reason, the police started a 20 year nightmare that made my life a living hell. Claiming they'd take away my car when they knew there was no possible way I could function or live without it. They knew what it would do to me and the danger that it would put me in. And yet they never gave up, the last incident with that happening at that intersection in Oak Park on September 11, 2013. When that older driver was clearly at fault, and the arriving EMT seemed to recognize me and wanted to use that as an excuse to deny me my right to drive. And now it is more vital and more important than ever before. I'd lose so much more now if I lost that than I would have in 2001, 2005 or 2013. And now in a disgusting irony they may finally get their wish if I lost my hands and feet to the diabetes and neuropathy they kept hidden from me for years. No not only will I always have a car and insist on it no matter what, but all those people who did that while the lawbreakers, some in my own neighborhood, were allowed to drive unquestioned. Not only that, but all those people will make sure I do, and pay for it all if necessary. I will always insist on that and never stop demanding it till the day I die for what that did to me.

And I am not suicidal, if that has anything to do with the way my rights are limited and for the secrecy. I have always had a strong will to live, in spite of all the abuse. Abuse that all the above people caused. Caused by their action, inaction or by being an accessory to all of this by breaking the law and not following their own rules. And I will be faced with painful medical decisions, heart-wrenching end of life decisions and possible the option of assisted suicide some day, after all the permanent damage they left me with. And I'll never know when I really have my medical consent restored, I'll never know when all of this is truly over, I'll never know when people aren't lying to me. And I also have seen they don't care who they hurt when they do that. So if any of these things becomes an issue. An alleged desire to harm myself, limiting my rights for that reason, ending up in the emergency room again because of them, or like I said just my fundamental right to make medical decisions in the end, I will always say that. Say that it is all their fault and their fault alone. All of it and always was, and I'll explain why if anyone doubts it. It's all the fault, it's all their fault I got to this point. And even now they are refusing to accept responsibility and trying again to use it against me.

I was talking with a man at that new place yesterday via teleconference. And I was telling him. After putting me thru 20 years of hell with that car thing, after trying to take that away from me even though I was not only a good driver, but a better driver than most. Take that away from me and destroy my life, even twenty years ago. And now destroy my life if that happened now because I need a car and I need to drive more than ever before. Everything depends on it. Not just my independence and ability to care for myself. Not just my quality of life and happiness. But my medical consent, my safety, my ability to cry for help, and so much more. And after putting me thru 20 years of putting me through that horrible, horrible injustice, now I am faced with the horrible irony they may get their way. Because I may lose my hands and feet to neuropathy. That along with all the other complications I have now that that damage was kept hidden from me from years. And now I am faced to deal with all these problems with my Cerebral Palsy, and probably other problems. Just like they were abusing me when I was that little handicapped boy. I think all those people who put me in that position. Wayne County Probate Court, the Detroit, Dearborn and Oakland County Police and Eric. I think they should always make sure I have a car at whatever the cost. The legal system may not agree with me. Because in addition to having sovereign immunity, my case doesn't even exist. All these horrible things are all just imaginary everyone, and now the police commission, tell me. Well they seem real to me. And I don't think the pain I will experience later will be imaginary either. Along with all the horrible and difficult medical decisions I will have to make. And so I think they should pay for and be responsible for all of that. I know most people would agree with me. But so far nothing is being done, so it's clear they don't.