Jimbee68's blog

No one is helping me in anyway now. No one is treating my diabetic wounds or even just giving me advice on things like mobility and long-term care for my problems. Basically no more than usual. And now I am being abandoned. Being abandoned by my legal guardian, and some of my neighbors too, all for complaining and speaking up. Nothing is being done and things may be getting worse. Physically things may be getting worse too, and for the first time in my life I'm standing all alone. Just like in the verse to that Ace of Base song. And what did I do to deserve any of this? What could anyone have done to deserve any of this?

Also, and just to repeat, what I said before. Some day I might need the option of things like discontinuing life support or terminating treatment when I am terminally ill, and maybe even things like assisted suicide. Which is supported by a majority of Americans now of course. But on the subject of doing something like that myself if it comes to that some day, and I end up in the emergency room again, like I've said. My position and my approach will always be the same. It is all fault of the police and that court. The Detroit and Dearborn police, the police in Oakland County, and Wayne County Probate Court. For all they did to me, for doing it all in secret, like we all know by now that they did, and are still doing. Still doing to me, and probably many others. They just don't know, is the only problem. Their fault, and the fault of everyone else in my life. All the mental health workers and staff, like that man at Sinai-Grace Hospital in 2004, who led me to seven years of suicidal ideation. Which almost ended tragically itself, like I said, on more than one occasion. Like he cared or didn't know he was doing that. And all the rest, if they are involved in some way. It was all their fault, they led me to this point. What they did to me this time, what they did leading up to this point, all the abuse and new abuse that is going on in my life now, and whatever ridiculous new form of abuse or legal dispute I am in, where I am being treated unfairly and all my rights are being ignored. All while they treat me like a child, like they did with the car. Saying I'd be in danger, but I should really it. I'll enjoy it, they said. That all led up to it, and all the abuse all my life too. I am not suicidal and never have been. I am very rational and have always just been trying to deal with the situation as best I can, all while they do that. Do things like that, always leaving me like they did when I was a child, feeling there was no hope and no solution. That's what caused it, I am sure I'll tell them. This is what I suspect and know, I'll say. And we'll go from there.

I got a letter recently from the police commission. I haven't looked at it too carefully yet and I put it upstairs in the pile of important stuff like that. But says again my case doesn't exist. None of those things happened and they can't do anything because they therefore see no wrongdoing here. I can't believe how outrageous all of this is. And how long it has gone on. How long it has been going on and how long it continues even after it has been exposed. And as far as I know absolutely nothing is being done to help me. And I will need lifelong care. And people need to be held accountable so I get that. And responsible for what they did to me too. What they did to me and anyone else either. All in secret of course. Others unlike me might not even know it's happened. At this point most the people in my life admit Eric is my secret legal guardian. So if anyone says that he isn't to me, I know they are lying about that. You aren't even allowed to do that to the worst criminal. Lying under oath, deceiving, having someone enter false contracts and have them lied to about their legal status, have them harmed by their doctors and them have them all coerced into silence about it. And what did I do? I'm a good person and I've never been in trouble with the law. And I'm not a danger to myself or others. So what could justify such a thing? But they can't tell me, it's still a secret. Or they think I don't have the capacity to make my own decisions. Anyone reading this can tell I am rational and of reasonable intelligence. It's all outrageous and none of it makes sense. And I may never find out what is happening or why. And plus as I've said, I'll never really know when it's over with. I'll always have to assume people are lying to me. Even when it hurts me and others in some way.

And now I am left without any family and emotional support, now that Eric says he's done with me. And I'll have no one to make the serious and painful medical and other decisions that may have to be made for me some day. Just some court or some legal guardian I never met or heard of. And I'll have some serious and painful medical decisions to make. Serious and painful medical decisions I never would have to have made before. And I'll need my full medical consent restored for that. I'll need money to pay for all of that. And I may be faced with some serious and painful end of life decisions some day that I never would have been faced with before. All while trying to live some quality of life. Trying to live a quality of life after a lifetime of abuse like I've described. Abuse that continues even now along with people blaming me yet again for complaining and demanding to be treated right. And still no one seems to care and nothing is being done it seems.

EDIT: THIS DOUBLE POST WAS NOT MY FAULT AS TWO ENTRIES OF THE SAME TEXT ON MY BLOG WAS NOT MY FAULT. THE HIP FORUMS PAGE WOULDN'T LOAD ON MY PC. AND I THOUGHT IT WAS ONLY POSTED ONCE.

My being gay is obviously central in some way to this situation. I've never really had a problem with it, and I don't think my family did either. My mother and her sister were certainly very open-minded, and my father (who was more conservative) once told me he had no problem with it either. But it was never an issue with me. And I have identified that way most of my adult life too. But right from the start, age 13 at least as I've said, it has led to my abuse and neglect by the system, and how people were bending and twisting the system to justify their homophobia and using circular logic to prove there was actually something wrong with that group. And then in 2004 that staff member at Sinai-Grace was homophobic. And in some way that all led to a new form of extreme psychological abuse that lasted over 20 years, led to seven years of suicidal ideation as the only way out and almost ended tragically on more than one occasion. And all the other comments and things along the way, like at places like Fairlane Town Center around 1998 for example, showed that was the case. (If what happened there was planned, and I think it was.) And I am not sure, I may never know. But I suspect what happened with the Detroit and other police, and Wayne County Probate Court's, abuse and mistreatment of me was at least partly due to my sexuality.

And now my cousin Eric and his rich, lawyer brother Tom are telling me they may be planning to secretly put me in a some horrible Detroit group home. To be neglected, threatened and denied any quality of life. And obviously to shut me up too. But as I told the staff at Sinai-Grace recently, my approach there is simple and it will surround free speech and who I am. I will always let it slip that I am gay. That is probably what happened at Sinai-Grace I think. I was just talking to a staff about that in my room while my room mate slept. And he must have overheard, because almost every room mate then including him threatened me with violence at least once. And I will also tell people what I think of their religion, or just all the religions, in alphabetical order. Which is true too. I will tell them I have nothing against religious people, not at all. But I will tell them what I think is wrong with those religions so that is known too. And then instead of neglecting me and ignoring me, like they usually do to patients in places like Detroit group homes, they will have to guard and protect me. Because I expect to be guarded and protected and treated well always. Especially after a lifetime of all this horrible abuse I have received.

My being gay is obviously central in some way to this situation. I've never really had a problem with it, and I don't think my family did either. My mother and her sister were certainly very open-minded, and my father (who was more conservative) once told me he had no problem with it either. But it was never an issue with me. And I have identified that way most of my adult life too. But right from the start, age 13 at least as I've said, it has led to my abuse and neglect by the system, and how people were bending and twisting the system to justify their homophobia and using circular logic to prove there was actually something wrong with that group. And then in 2004 that staff member at Sinai-Grace was homophobic. And in some way that all led to a new form of extreme psychological abuse that lasted over 20 years, led to seven years of suicidal ideation as the only way out and almost ended tragically on more than one occasion. And all the other comments and things along the way, like at places like Fairlane Town Center around 1998 for example, showed that was the case. (If what happened there was planned, and I think it was.) And I am not sure, I may never know. But I suspect what happened with the Detroit and other police, and Wayne County Probate Court's, abuse and mistreatment of me was at least partly due to my sexuality.

And now my cousin Eric and his rich, lawyer brother Tom are telling me they may be planning to secretly put me in a some horrible Detroit group home. To be neglected, threatened and denied any quality of life. And obviously to shut me up too. But as I told the staff at Sinai-Grace recently, my approach there is simple and it will surround free speech and who I am. I will always let it slip that I am gay. That is probably what happened at Sinai-Grace I think. I was just talking to a staff about that in my room while my room mate slept. And he must have overheard, because almost every room mate then including him threatened me with violence at least once. And I will also tell people what I think of their religion, or just all the religions, in alphabetical order. Which is true too. I will tell them I have nothing against religious people, not at all. But I will tell them what I think is wrong with those religions so that is known too. And then instead of neglecting me and ignoring me, like they usually do to patients in places like Detroit group homes, they will have to guard and protect me. Because I expect to be guarded and protected and treated well always. Especially after a lifetime of all this horrible abuse I have received.