Zendik

Chef Cookie,
I wanted to thank you for your post and hope it leads to a more balanced understanding of Zendik- both the place and the philosophy. I do hope you tell as much of your story as possible. We may not be in total agreement, of course, but I am glad to have your input included in this thread. More later...

 

O.K. Hello out there, I'm back.

I just don't have it in me to write my whole story. If anyone has any specific questions, I'm more than happy to reply based on my own personal experiences.
I guess the bottom line for me is that yes, Zendik isn't for everyone, nor are they doing it all "right". They will be the first to tell you that. (If they were doing it all right, then the world wouldn't be so fucked up, now would it?) Yes, they make mistakes, who doesn't. If people are so worried about people in power who make mistakes, then I can think of a lot more stupidly dangerous people, and organizations to be complaining to/about.
Look, Zendik has always been and will continue to be (as far as I can see) an experimental culture in search of what works. Not what works for me! me! me! pitiful me! ("Why can't I have blah blah blah? Why can't I do blah blah blah? Whaaa Whaaa!!") But what works for humanity. You can't look at a new concept that is being put into action there as "THE LAW, NOW AND FOREVER!" But more as a test. Will this work? Can we do this. Can I do this? People have to drop their bullshit self-centered wannabe egos and risk something new. It's hard work. Zendik farm ain't no summer camp for burn outs. It's for real. The people who live there are putting theri lives on the line and trying to live as close to their Ideals as possible.
People who complain about this place and have never read a zine, never checked out their website, need to. If you still think they're a bunch of loonies...your loss.
People who have visited there for up to six months to a year and have had a bad experience. Sorry. Zendiks, like everyone else have bad days, weeks, etc. And it's also possibe that YOU JUST DON'T GET IT! We (as human beings) have a way of making unrealistic expectations and then being utterly disallusioned when those expectations aren't met. I seriously doubt it was as bad as you think it was, in fact I know it wasn't, I was there while a lot of you passed through.
Those of us that have lived there a while, I think most of us aren't nearly as bitter as the rest. I mean, yes, some of us have been asked to leave, some of us told to, and others like myself, left on our own. Either way, It was all our own choice. We knew what was expected of us, we knew what we were getting into, what the risks were. In five years at Zendik, I've never seen one person outright lied to about what was expected of him/her. But I've seen A LOT of people pissed off at life because Zendik farm wasn't what they thought it was, or what they think it should be like.

Zendik Farm is what it is, and that's only what it is RIGHT NOW. The only people who really know what it's like are the people who are there RIGHT NOW participating, getting involved, RIGHT NOW. Whether they just got there or whether they were born there.
Cookie

 

Cookie,

Hi, long time no see, hope all is well?

Now to the nitty gritty!!

The lies at Zendik were rampant and the story that was told at Zendik by the elders about your leaving is totally different than your story. After getting to know you there at Zendik I believe your story and not Chens story. I wont go into details but it just shows the fact that the lies continued there.
The lies were told very subtly and/or very individually in a supposedly friendly setting. At that time it was Chen and Kord who were the strong armers who would run their mouths and spread the gossip.
Interesting that they didnt spend much time in the kitchen so you may not be aware of the goings on.
I find that many (not all) of the stories from the 6 month - 2 year people are true, I cant say how many on this forum actually spent time there as the names have changed or not given but thats OK, there have been enough facts given on here to realize that something is wrong there at Zendik.
Its not about "getting it" either as many of us who were there did "get it" but chose not to keep it as it was too contradictory especially to those of us who had lived in community before going to Zendik.
For those that have been in community since, they have since realized that Zendik has problems that affected them in some way that may have even hurt them.

Several people on this forum have been emotionally scarred by their living at Zendik and I wonder how much of that was intentional on the part of the elders feeding off the energies of those coming in. I fully believe that this is so, it is common in heirarchal societies for this to happen.

I have many stories to tell about Zendik, the sadness of people who wanted to be there but were asked to leave, the hardship of people left at the bus station with three dollars in their pocket after giving three years of their life to building Zendik.

The hopes of young people coming in being shattered as they were told they couldnt dance in the dance hall or play in the band, not even practice. Couldnt ride the horses unless they milked the goats!!

The sexual frustration held over the heads of the dateless males there.

I could spend hours writing on here but frankly dont have the time to do so.

Yes, if someone wants to visit there go ahead and visit but keep your money hidden as one day you will be left at the bus stop, it may be three days, three years of fifteen years but it will happen and you will be asked to leave.

Trouble in paradise? you betcha.

 

Spanky,

I've never really been exposed to this particular cult but I've seen people sucked into others. One of the originals was, of course, the Krishna cult, which had very little to do with Lord Krishna but everything to do with the swami whateverhisnamewas (forgive me, but I can't remember everything), but at least the Krishnas were pretty aboveboard, as opposed to Rajneesh or some of the Xtian cults.

What hit home was your statement about the "Elders." Quite honestly, there are people considered "elders" that I wouldn't trust to water my plants. I'm 52, I took LSD for the first time early 1969, I've survived this long; does this make me an elder? If so, why would anyone try to burden me with that shit?

Me, I'm an old acidhead who likes hanging around, and occasionally balling, young chicks. I don't claim to have any special enlightenment, or whatever, I just like young hippie chicks.

Understand that anyone who leans back on the "elder" shit, whatever form it might be taking, is doing the same. They just have a whole truckload of mystical bullshit to try and get themselves laid, whereas I'm a simple man: I just like young hippie chicks!

There are so many bullshitters in the world, claiming they have the answer, or are enlightened, or whatever, when all they want is some young hippie pussy!!! That's all!!!

Lying bastards, I saw thru their shit when I was 15 and did acid for the first time. There were so many users, and scamsters, around the scene then, and now they're all fucking church elders or in the rethuglican party pretending they never were child molesters. Fuckers.

This Zendik shit is the same fucking story. Using the kids for their sick shit. Fuck them, they ain't Hippies, they're psychopathic garbage using messed-up kids for their perversions. Expose them.

 

I went to Zendik Farm at age 17. I know all about them and their "philosophy". My oldest son belongs to former Zendik Bugzy. Bugzy had another son at the time named "Sporky". Sporky was removed due to child abuse allegations. He has seen his son maybe twice in his life. Unless your name is Fawn or you are the current guy she is sleeping with, then Zendik Farm isn't for you. I can tell you alot about the place if you ask, but there are way too many emotional and physical scars from being there.

 

Okay, this shit's starting to piss me off. I don't know who the above is and I am very doubtful everyone writing for this thread was ever at Zendik Farm.
I think this thread is becoming more of a cult then Zendik ever was or could be. There are some very real and honest criticisms of Zendik here, and I know some of the contributors have some very valid critiques of ZF based on very real experience. There are some very real compliments about ZF again based on real experience.
Not everyone who says they were a Zendik even visted ZF for a day, and others who may have spent some time-or even a year- there are telling the truth.
It is impossible to tell fact from fiction on these threads, and impossible for an uninformed reader to understand this thread-so what's the fuckin' point.
I know Bugzy, I knew Sporky-there were never any "child abuse allegations" or anything of the sort. Sporky simply needed a more disciplined environment then Zendik could offer. It's sad, but Sporky actually did better in growing up in the mainstream. There may be some honest critiques of Zendik childrearing (I found the kids to be exceptionally intelligent and fun) but there is no child abuse. Check the ZF site, those aren't the faces of abused kids.
I am currently a social worker involved with the recovery of abused kids. The above statement is as viscious as any line of slander could be. This slander often happens in the mainstream too as a pure act of vengeance. It belittles the reality of child abuse for the kids who've survived it.
I wonder who the above author is and why she's incilned to spout this shit.
Sadly, there is never a way to know or even guess on these forums.
And saying you bear "physical and emotional scars," Zendik may have tragically disapointed some people and left them feeling hurt emotionally and shorted materially. But "scars"?!? No, that's never happened. Or anything remotely like it...

 

well, you can tell that to my son! Bugzy is his father. i was there in 1992. when i told them i was pregnant they refused to offer any help at all. so don't tell me about the "kindness" or "goodness" of those people. you have no idea what i went through. if i wasn't there then how do i know that Zara had a miscarriage from Bugzy. Bugzy's dog Waldo bit thru Kare's tendon awhile before i got there. Polar and Panda were two of the dogs whose mother was "Artie". so any other information you would like me to satisfy. oh, Bugzy has a snake tattoo on his abdomen...Nevic's privates were pierced. any more questions?

 

But come to think of it, no one reading this thread can validate who I am either, so what's the fuckin' point?
I need to ask, at what point does whoever maintains/manages "Hip Forums" reserve the right to end or delete a thread?
I do vehemently believe in Free Speech, but libel/slander is both unethical and illegal. I believe if this thread apeared in print it would be fair for Zendik Farm, or any individual who has been involved with them, to launch a lawsuit over this.
I personally don't care much about the legality of this thread, but I do find much offensive and unethical. It is dangerous, and unfair, when the source of any post cannot be validated. At all. It would be a very different issue if the posts each contained a legal name and contact info so a reader can research the sources before drawing conclusions. But of course nothing like that can happen.
I would strongly appreciate a response from whomever "manages" (or whatever the term is- am new to computer reality) "Hip Forums" about this issue...

 

if you have a problem with me, then PM me to ask your questions. if you don't like this thread, then don't post here. everybody has a right to their opinions and experiences. and if they want to sue, then they can answer for quite a few child rape/molestation charges.

 

Dear "Footnotes,"
I do believe (but can't know) you were at ZF. I know (but again, no reader can validate that) Bugzy MAY be the father of your son, but I'm afraid you fucked a few (but only a few- you were a "poor lay"-but no-one reading this can validate that-thank Gawd!!) and there was no blood test. So don't whine about your own choices, if you actually made them.
You did get a few names right and a few details right, but others wrong- but no-one reading this can tell the difference. Zara MAY have had a miscarriage, Waldo bit Arol NOT Kare, anyone who's seen Bugzy's picture has seen his tattoo. And who care's about Nevic's privates? Dingaling piercings are a dime a dozen these days...

 

Waldo bit Kare. and i only slept with two people there. Bugzy and Nom. from your attitude you obvious don't know me. (Thank God!!!) no, there was never a blood test, because Bugzy wouldn't submit to one. if he was so sure of himself as you are he would have took one just to prove me wrong. so, who are you? Zendik name? or are you too afraid to say?

 

Footnotes,
Again, no-one reading this thread can actually validate either of us at all. You can say your thing and I-or anyone pretending to be me-can say mine. No one will know the difference.
By the way, wasn't it YOU who actually got Fawn pregnant?
See what I mean- Fawn's been hoping to find you to sue for back payents on child support.
Again, there is a point where hese threads just get too dangerous and slanderous.
I would strongly appreciate a response from whoever oversee "Hip Forums"

 

you are laughable. i am a female or can't you read. and if you weren't afraid of what i had to say then why pick exclusively on me? you haven't fired on anyone here like you have on me. you could be Lore ( Sporky's mother) for all i know. that would explain the hostile attitude toward me. and if you know Bugzy, so doesn't scare me in the least. i would know who you are/were if you gave your Zendik name and i could tell ya a few things about yourself too. as for Fawn...if she doesn't know who her baby's daddy is, then that is what The Maury Show is for.

 

Oh yeah "Footnotes", my name might be Sporky...or was it Waldo? And you slept with a third as well, but he was a newcomer and didn't stay long. So Bugzy is 1/3 at most, if any of this happened at all...
But wasn't Zendik Farm a CIA conspiraacy to begin with? Or a Moonies splinter group?
How thick can the bullshit spread, on your end as well as mine?
And whose to know for sure...

 

Waldo was a dog. and how would you know anything about me...personally? and there was never a "third" as you put it. anyways Sporky was only 4 turning 5 when i was there, so i know that isn't you. you could be his brother Colt. knocked the hell outta once, if i remember correctly...that is if you are Colt. the possiblities are endless. so i must not be lying. your very attack on me and my character have proven me 100% correct and valid, so thanks.

 

Dear "Hip Forums" host,
Again at what point does a thread become too slanderous to continue? The above exchange, and much of the 84 pages, is proof. I actually do appreciate much of the insights on this thread-and it can be entertaining as well- but at what point does "Free Speech" cross a line when private lives are outed into the public domain without sources or anyones consent?
How would this thread read if something similiar was run about another institution? An inner city church? A Rainbow gathering? A Boy Scout Troop? A charity organization? Even another commune/community?
Would if the thread contained both critical insights, outright lies, and plenty in between-and no reader could know?
again, I would really appreciate a response...

 

My better judgment is telling me not to get involved in this ugly little exchange, but I’ll open my big mouth anyway. I’m just curious what Black Lentil thinks could possibly be a motive for (a) pretending to be a former Zendik and (b) trying to convince an audience of anonymous complete strangers that this or that accusation against the Zendiks is true. What possible payoff could there be for such behavior? One payoff (assuming for the sake of argument that Footnotes' accusations are full of shit, as Black Lentil claims) would be: revenge. But the revenge motive only makes sense if Footnotes feels like the Zendiks hurt her in some way, and doesn’t that suggest strongly that Footnotes was once a Zendik, for a time at least? We don’t get mad and vengeful at people we’ve never met, as a rule. It’s true that anyone who has seen Bugzy’s picture would know he’s got the tattoo...but which of these scenarios makes more sense to you? (a) Footnotes knew Bugzy, or (b) Footnotes found a picture of him somewhere, became obsessed with this man whom she’s never met, and has, for years, been trying to convince people that she knew him and had his kid, based on this evidence? I’m going to guess (a) until more facts come to light...

 

you didn't answer any of my questions. you have a chance to share your side of the story just like everyone else here. if you or anyone at Zendik Farm are upset about this thread, then why not post your side? you attack me and my experience with no provocation on my part. if i am such a liar, then why slander me? should i go as far as to give you Bugzy's real name? this post is according to MY LIFE experience. you have purposefully and maliciously set your attack solely against me. and certain things you have said prove you know exactly who i am without returning the curtesy of giving me your identity. if you disputed me, then we could have handled it privately via PM, but i now understand your reluctance to do so.

 

Godless,
You're right. It is not for me to say who on this thread was or was not a Zendik. Or what is true or invented or something between.
But it is not up to any reader either-and if it was, they couldn't know.
Perhaps Footnotes is he MOST honest and insightful person on this thread-and the other 83 pages are bullshit. Or something between.
And I am most interested in having "Hip Forums" respond to my earlier question...and I can accept whatever response they give.

 

i am not here to advocate or "dis" Zendik Farm. i am only telling my personal experience. my time there left me revengeful and bitter, because of my son. i am angry because he has no sense of self, because Bugzy hid from a blood test and no one tried to make him do what was right. i never threatened the Zendiks for money. i only wanted the bllod test so my son could know his father's family.