Your first bi experience: Afterglow? Guilt?

I was in a little shock mixed with some confusion. A coworker and I were working a project when it happened. One minute we’re going over numbers and the next my cock is in his mouth. It really did happen very suddenly. Being gay never entered my mind. What did were all the variables involved. 1. A person that I had known for several years was sucking my cock. 2. The wife I had at home, and if I would show guilt when got home. 3. Will my coworker out me and use this later in? And then I just kinda gave in to how good I was feeling at that point. I came and it was really good. On my way home is when the afterglow kicked in. How could something that was so frowned upon feel so damn good. Got home to everything being normal. No guilt. No questions from the wife. Just me quietly reliving in my mind the best BJ I had ever received. Wondering when it would happen again.

 

I have yet to suck a cock but I would have to suck first because I know that after I came, I would not want to suck the guy.

 

It is a pleasure and a relief to read the posts in this thread, I’m a bi guy and outwardly heterosexual but I love sucking cock, the afterglow of guilt is very much a thing for me after I cum in a guys mouth so if I meet another man for mutual oral sex I simply have to to suck him off first before he blows me. On the few occasions during 69 sessions with a man I guess I’m fortunate enough that we have both ejaculated in each others mouth at the same time, that is a fantastic experience

 

My first "experience" with another male was at a very young age. I had a gay friend that loved sucking my cock without reciprocation.The only feelings that I had about that was how good it felt to have someone sucking my cock!! I don't count that because it was more or less adolescent sexual exploration and experimentation until I "discovered" GIRLS!!!

My first adult experience was quite different. After years of being straight and having all the typical anti gay rhetoric of the time drummed into my head, it was a difficult line to cross. I was sitting in a bar and a guy sat next to me. We talked while tossing down a few beers. After getting fairly "buzzed" he propositioned me. I was always horny, I was drunk and I hadn't gotten a blowjob in while. So I agreed and we went to his place. It felt weird to undress in front of a man who wasn't a doctor, but I continued because I was drunk and I always loved being naked. He to me to lie on his bed. I laid down on his bed with my head on a pillow. I put my hands behind me head and stared straight up at the ceiling to avoid any eye contact. He crawled between my legs and put his warm mouth on my soft cock. It felt extremely weird having a grown man sucking my cock. I was having trouble getting hard and I wasn't really enjoying it, but he kept sucking. I tried my best to block the "gay" part of it out of my mind. Somehow I finally managed to free my inhibitions and actually enjoy the experience. He started to really get into it when my cock got fully erect. When I reached orgasm it was just as enjoyable as it was when a woman sucked my cock, but the postcoital dysphoria (post orgasm let down) was extreme. Even though I finally got to the point of enjoying it and I reached orgasm, I felt dirty, disgusted, confused and guilty. Would someone find out? Would I ever again be able to look my straight friends in the face? I had gone against everything that I was taught. I committed an unnatural act, but it felt good and it's not like I had touched or sucked his cock.

It took a while and a lot of soul searching and I refrained from any further M/M sexual contact for quite a while, but the male sex drive is extremely intense and the next time I hit a dry spell I happily accepted another blowjob from another male. These days I have gotten to the point that I don't care. It's sex and sex is supposed to be enjoyable. It shouldn't matter who you have sex with as long as all participants are willing and nobody gets hurt!!!!

 

I feel the exact same way. My post orgasm let down is so intense that I would never be able to suck a cock after I cum. I think a 69 situation would be ideal!!!

 

I feel like I'd lose my nerve after I came as well!

 

@JS420 - um, why didn't that count when you were young? It happened, didn't it? When I was young, I had so much sex with guys that it wasn't even funny - but I would never say that it didn't happen or it didn't count or, worse, it didn't mean anything because I'd be lying and especially to myself. It counted. I did it and had fun doing

Those post-ejaculation feelings of guilt and feeling so dirty that you'd ever get clean again can be devastating and, indeed, it will kick the ass of any man who is busting a nut with anyone. I always wondered why I tended to notice the refractionary period of sex - that letdown - when I was with a guy more than I did with a woman and that was despite me knowing that all that stuff they said about it being wrong and a sin and it's gay was bullshit designed to keep me from finding out that, hell yeah, having sex with a guy can be just as good - and sometimes better - than sex with a gal. But, yeah, bust that nut and I'd rather eat broken glass than to try to keep having sex and I had to learn to ignore that ultra-shitty feeling because I might have been done... but my partner wasn't so.... back to work and the feeling is going to pass.

Still, it has always fascinated me how so many guys were down with sex with guys when they were young but they get to be an adult and they say... it didn't count or didn't mean anything.