You know you're from

these are amazing

meg....do you really buy milk in plastic bags?





You've signed so many petitions to recall governors you can't remember the name of the incumbent.

You notice your car overheating before you drive it.

You no longer associate bridges or rivers with water. - the only reason we have bridges is to cross over the canals..which have nothing but dirt and dead plants and trash

You know a swamp cooler is not a happy hour drink. - hell no it's not

You can hear the weather forecast of 115 degrees without flinching. - i should hope so

You can be in the snow, then drive for an hour...and it will be over 100 degrees. - it's so confusing when this happens....you're in the snow and happy, right, and then you all pile in the car and drive back into town, and you fall asleep and wake up and you're driving down the highway with a sunburn

You discover, in July it only takes two fingers to drive your car, because your steering wheel is so hot.

You can make sun tea instantly. - it's the only way to do it

You run your a/c in the middle of winter so you can use your fireplace. - well i don't know about this but....

The best parking is determined by shade.....not distance. - of course

You realize that "Valley Fever" isn't a disco dance. - no sir

Hotter water comes from the cold water tap than the hot one. - until you stand there at the kitchen sink for 3 minutes blasting the cold water, and it's still hot enough to disinfect the surrounding area so you just give up and walk away dirty

It's noon in July, kids are on summer vacation and yet all the streets are totally empty of both cars and people. - we're secretly vampires.

You actually burn your hand opening the car door. - but you learn after the first time to use your shirt

Sunscreen is sold year round, kept right at the checkout counter. -gotta keep stocked up. the only people that wear sunscreen though are the families with the three little kids who just moved to arizona and have a pool and tile floors and some new fancy southern style house out in the middle of nowhere that it takes 3 hours to drive to in their huge SUV. which, by the way, has leather seats because even though that will melt the inside of their damn car they're rich and need leather cars. and i think we build these houses all the way out there to keep them out of our damn way. because the real arizona kids walk barefoot down the street with their favorite cup full of koolade. or they drink out of the hose.

You put on fresh sunscreen just to go check the mail box. - read above. and my mailbox is inside the wall of my living room

Some fools will market mini-misters for joggers and some other fools will actually buy them. Worse.....some fools actually try to jog. - maybe you should shut up and jog at 5 am like everyone else and take your stupid mini-misters back to new york

You know hot air balloons can't rise because the air temperature is hotter than the air inside the balloon. - again, nobody rides a hot-air balloon in the middle of the day. you do it either at sunrise or sunset in the desert part of the mountains. and they give you champagne.

No one would dream of putting vinyl inside a car. - no , we don't dream of it but we still do it. i rode around in an oven for the first 13 years of my life

You see two trees fighting over a dog. - yes because we magically enchant our trees. put down the acid dumbass

You can say "Hohokam" and people don't think you're laughing funny -indians are no laughing matter

You see more irrigation water on the street than there is in the Salt River - i see more water in my cup than there is in the salt river

You have to go to a fake beach for some fake waves - if you need your beach and your waves go back to california and do some fake surfing

You can understand the reason for a town named "Why" - yeah, i can. as in WHY don't you actually come to arizona before you write these stupid things

You can fry an egg on the hood of a car IN THE MORNING! - yeah you know one of my most treasured childhood memories is waking up early sunday morning and walking outside to the wonderful aroma of eggs cooking up and down the street.

You hear people say "but it's a DRY heat!" -no, i don't hear that, because once you get here you realize it doesn't really fucking matter that it's a DRY heat. you still can't walk outside without the air literally burning your face and stinging your lungs.

You buy salsa by the gallon. - no, i make salsa by the gallon.

Your Christmas decorations include sand and l00 paper bags. - i really do think our neighbors hate us. this christmas it was their turn to do the luminarias and they did the entire street except for in front of our house. their excuse was that they 'ran out'

You think a red light is merely a suggestion. - my mother nearly ran a guy over yesterday. 10 points!

All of your out-of-state friends start to visit after October but clear out come the end of April. - my friends don't visit for 6 months.

You think someone driving wearing oven mitts is clever. - i think their hands haven't toughened up enough.

Most of the restaurants in town have the first name "El" or "Los." - or mi.

You think 60 tons of crushed red rock makes a beautiful yard. - i think grass makes a beautiful yard. you can't really walk so easily on 60 tons of crushed red rock, now can you? why don't you go dig a hole in your rock yard and i'll push you in

Your house is made of stucco and has a red clay tile roof. - is it? it's not the 1700s. i have shingles on my roof.

Vehicles with open windows have the right-of-way in the summer. - i don't know where you're getting this from. it doesn't even make sense. how about next time we go driving in one of our right-of-way cars you can stick your head out the window and i'll roll it up for you.

Most homes have more firearms than people. - yeah the customary baby shower gift is a pistol. we like to start them out early

Kids will ask, "What's a mosquito?" - mosquito is a spanish word, and we have a lot of them here.

People who have black cars or black upholstery in their car are automatically assumed to be from out of-state or nuts. - i assume you have a black car

You know better than to get into a car with leather seats if you're wearing shorts. - shut up

If you haven't worked for Motorola at some time, you must be a newcomer. - yes because we're obviously obsessed with motorola

You can finish a Big Gulp in 10 minutes and go back for seconds. - nobody drinks a big gulp

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Arizona. - shut up

You can (correctly) pronounce the words:
"Saguaro," "Ocotillo," " Tempe,", "Gila Bend," "San Xavier," "Canyon de Chelly," "Mogollon Rim," "Cholla," and "Ajo." - damn straight i can.

You experience third-degree burns if you touch any metal part of your car. - i don't touch the metal parts of my car



Announcements for Fourth of July events never end with "in case of rain....." - no, they don't..it doesn't rain in july

When someone asks how far you live from a location, it's always in terms of minutes, not miles. -we don't believe in miles here

Everyone's smiling and talking about the great weather on rainy days. - the minute a cloud rolls through everyone's talking about 'i hope it rains' 'me too' 'i love rain' ' me too'


You have to explain to out-of-staters why there is no daylight saving time. - i think that you should shut up.

 

Hey fuckoff :$

Yippie

 

Whatever cowboy

 

Are you in a bad mood?

 

I most certainly am not a cowboy!!

 

i have no idea what happened just there....i like..totally unleashed the bitch
i was going through a bit of withdrawal but..i'm alright now

 

pfft..
coughdrop.







and..i say 'fixin to' all the time...
it's a friggen expression dammit

and i also say might could and ustacould too.... Hahaha

 

aha i posted a thread like this awile back..

but i can't find it...





You know you're from Louisiana when..

The crawdad mounds in your front yard have over taken the grass. CrawFISH**** say crawdads to anyone over here and they'll smack your ass (not your butt.. ..just you)

You greet people with "Howzyamomma'an'dem?" and hear back "Dey fine!" no

Every so often, you have waterfront property.

When giving directions you use words like "uptown," "downtown," "backatown," "riverside," "lakeside," "other side of the bayou" or "other side of the levee."

When you refer to a geographical location "way up North," you are referring to places like Shreveport, Little Rock or Memphis, "where it gets real cold."

You've ever had Community Coffee.

You can pronounce Tchoupitoulas and Natchitoches but can't spell it. I can too..

You don't worry when you see ships riding higher in the river than the top of your house.

You judge a po-boy by the number of napkins used.

The waitress at your local sandwich shop tells you a fried oyster po-boy "dressed" is healthier than a Caesar salad. haha...

You can eat Popeye's, Haydel's and Zapp's for lunch and wash it down with Barq's and several Abitas, without losing it all on your stoop. What's haydels?

The four seasons in your year are: crawfish, shrimp, crab, and King Cake. ahaha thats so true.. It's King Cake season right now.. I'm verrryy happy...

You "wrench" your hands in the sink with an onion bar to get the crawfish smell off.

You don't learn until high school that Mardi Gras is not a national holiday. this is true.. but it wasn't high school.. 8th grade in La studies

You believe that purple, green and gold look good together. don't they? =)

Your last name isn't pronounced the way it's spelled. hah..

You know what a nutria rat is but you still pick it to represent your baseball team.

You have spent a summer afternoon on the Lake Pontchartrain seawall catching blue crabs. close enough

You describe a color as "K & B Purple."

You like your rice and politics dirty.

You pronounce the largest city in the state as "Nawlins."

You know those big roaches can fly, but you're able to sleep at night anyway. haha

You assume everyone has mosquito swarms in their backyard. don't they?

You realize the rainforest is less humid than Louisiana. damn...

You learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron... wtf? haha

When out of town, you stop and ask someone where there is a drive-through Daiquiri place, and they look at you like you have three heads. yall don't have those anywhere?? whoa......ahahaha i'm just realising how ridiculous it seems =D hahaha drive through daiquiris..

You have flood insurance.

Your burial plot is six feet over rather than six feet under.

You consider a Bloody Mary a light breakfast.

You push little old ladies out of the way to catch Mardi Gras throws.

You leave a parade with footprints on the top of your hands. =)

You have a parade ladder in your shed.

Your first sentence was "Throw me something mistah" and your first drink was from a go-cup. hahah

You worry about a deceased family member returning in spring floods. or giant hurricanes.......

You reply to anything and everything about life here with "Only in Laweezeeanna". haha

You have a monogrammed go-cup.

You get on a bus marked "Cemeteries" and don't think twice.

You shake out your shoes before putting them on.

Your sunglasses fog up when you step outside.

No matter where else you go in the world, you are always disappointed in the food. true

You get up in the morning and start cooking a pot of rice before you give any thought to what you'll fix for dinner.

You ask, "How dey running?" and "Are dey fat?" when you're inquiring about seafood quality.

When it starts to rain, you cover your beer instead of your head.

You call tomato sauce "red gravy."

You eat sno-balls instead of throwing them. mmmm...

Your house payment is less than your air conditioning bill.

Your grandparents are called "Maw Maw" and "Paw Paw." who doesn't?

You fall asleep to the soothing sounds of four box fans. hahaha

No one eats healthy. Fried Batter is actually a menu item in some restaurants. ahaha ew


You reinforce your attic to store Mardi Gras beads. haha..

Your baby's first words are "gumbo" and "whereyat"

You save newspapers, not for recycling but for tablecloths at crawfish boils. true

You listen to holiday songs such as "the 12 yats of Christmas" and "Santa and his reindeer used to live next door"

You walk on the "banquet" (sidewalk) and stand in the "neutral ground" (area of ground between a two sided street) "by ya mommas" (by your mother's house).

Someone asks for directions and you stop and help them with a smile. HAH..

You start an angel food cake with a roux.

You appreciate the difficulty in MAKING a roux.



Watching "Wild Kingdom" inspires you to write a cookbook.

You think a lobster is a crawfish on steroids.

You think boudin, hogshead cheese, and a Bud is a bland diet.

You think Ground Hog Day and the Boucherie Festival are the same holiday. =) ah the boucherie festival.. i was baby miss boucherie. it seems so...eh... now. boucherie means like the butcher.. hahe

Fred's on the River means more to you than the Grand Ole Opry.

You have an *envie* for something instead of a craving.

You use two or more pirogues to cover your tomatoes to protect them from the late frost.

The horsepower of your outboard motor is greater than that of your car motor.

You pass up a trip abroad to go to the Crawfish Festival in Breaux Bridge.

You are asked to name the holy trinity and your reply is "onions, celery, bell pepper." haha

None of your potential vacation destinations are north of the old Mississippi River Bridge (US 190). hehe

You refer to Louisiana winters as "Gumbo Weather."

You get a disappointing look from your wife and describe it as, "She passed me a pair of eyes."

You sit down to eat boiled crawfish and your host says, "Don't eat the dead ones," and you know what he means.

You learned Bourré the hard way: Holding yourself upright in your crib. if your family is getting together, it's almost guaranteed that they're gonna play bourré...

You don't know the real names of your friends, only their nicknames.

You give up Tabasco for Lent

Your loved one dies and you book a jazz band before you call the coroner.

Your accent sounds nothing like Harry Connick, Jr's.

You can sing these jingles by heart: "Rosenberg's, Rosenberg's, 1825 Tulane;" "At the beach, at the beach, the Pontchartrain Beach..."

When a hurricane is imminent, you have a lot more faith in Nash Roberts than some Super Doppler 6000. hmph

Your town is low on the education chart, high on the obesity chart and you don't care because you're No. 1 on the party chart.

Nothing shocks you. Period. Ever. thats right.

Being in a jam at Tulane and Broad isn't the same as being stuck in traffic.

Your idea of health food is a baked potato instead of fries with your seafood platter.

You have to take your coffee and favorite coffeemaker with you on a three-day trip.

You have sno-ball stains on your shoes. ahahaha

Your middle name is your mother's maiden name, or your father's mother's maiden name, or your mother's mother's maiden name, or your grandmother's mother's maiden name, or your grandfather's mother's maiden name.

On certain spring days, Crawfish Monica is your breakfast.

You've done your laundry in a bar. ahahaha oh my god that sounds so bad..but it's the truth..

You don't show your "pretties" during Mardi Gras. that's very true.

You know that Tchoupitoulas is a street and not a disease.

You "boo" the mayor on national television.

You wear sweaters in because it ought to be cold.

Your Santa Claus rides an alligator and your favorite Saint is a football player.

You suck heads, eat tail, sing the blues and you actually know where you got them shoes. =)

You know why you should never, ever swim by the Lake Pontchartrain steps (for more than one reason).

You cringe every time you hear an actor with a Southern or Cajun accent in a "New Orleans-based" movie or TV show.

You have to reset your clocks after every thunderstorm.

You waste more time navigating back streets than you would if you just sat in traffic.

You still call the Fairmont Hotel, the Roosevelt.

You consider garbage cans a legal step to protecting your parking space on a public street.

Your one-martini lunch becomes a five-bloody mary afternoon... and you keep your job.

You eat dinner out and spend the entire meal talking about all the other good places you've eaten. haha




yay. i love louisiana. =)

 

apparentyl this is for the UK



this is all england and/or London.



pfft.



You believe that Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday are all good nights for drinking. Sunday day is also entirely reasonable.

You're always a half an hour late to work ... no-one notices or cares.

Coming to work with a hangover is entirely accepted and indeed expected at least once a week.

You can actually give directions to some of those annoying tourists in Oxford Street!

You step over a drunk in the tube station rather than offering to help them.

You don't even bother looking out of the window when you get up in the morning to check what the day is like. You know it is overcast.

You consider a suit to be normal attire for the pub.

You expect men to actually cut, comb and style their hair (using hair products). And to wear decent clothes.

You dissolve in laughter when listening to the funny accent of the Aussie international telephone operator (or on TV!).

You think ?40 for a haircut is quite reasonable.

You can't remember what 'customer service' means.

After a big night out you find yourself looking for a Curry house

More than three hours sunlight on summer days seems excessive.

You don't think twice about tipping your hairdresser

You finish every sentence with 'Cheers' or 'Yeah'.

You only just realise you have lost your sunnies, you left them in Greece 2 summers ago.

You like English cuisine. I mean, it's hard to beat a full English breakfast.

You are on to your 6th umbrella and your second overcoat... this year

You've bought a disposable baby BBQ from Tesco.

A day at the beach means wearing the warmest clothes you own while standing on golf ball-size pebbles and the thought of swimming doesn't even enter your head.

You always call soccer football and you have a team and it's not Manchester United.

You don't think twice about buying a packaged sandwich.

A sunny lunchtime means searching for a patch of grass and stripping off practically down to your underwear

You've accepted queuing as a way of life.

You believe that every American is a fatass addicted to hamburgers and hotdogs.

You despise the French (but then, who doesn't?).

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Britan.

 

wait. here we go



You know you're from Scotland when:


You call New Year's Eve 'Hogmanay'.

You know exactly what goes in haggis.

You eat it anyway.

You know the meanings of 'ned' (thug), 'wean' (child), 'celiegh' (Scottish-style dance, eg Hogmanay), 'neaps' (turnip), 'tatties' (mashed potatoes), and 'loch' (lake).

You know that Loch Ness is so deep it could hold 8 copies of the Statue of Liberty one on top of the other.

You know that the national dish (by quantity consumed) of Scotland is fish'n'chips, not haggis.

You know over 100 different ways of desribing rain.

You refer to England as 'the Channel Country'.

You can understand the phrase, "Ah'm just goin' doon the chippie fer ah pie an' that. Fancy a pint o' booze affer?"

You know that Hollyrood is where the Scottish Parliament is, not a typo of 'Hollywood'.

You'll beat someone up for supporting a different football team, but couldn't care less if they said they supported the British National Party (an almost Nazist group). (i fucking hate the BNP but would happily kill a jambo )

You won't get drunk on three glasses of whisky.

You somehow get drunk anyway.

You descibe "intermittent light drizzle, with strong winds and patchy fog" as "nice weather for a change".

 

hahaha

 

you know you're in New Zealand when you're surrounded by the clean and green

 

there is only one way to rid tererorism in this world........bomb Mecca

 

That could be good

 

I live in Ontario

but.

I call them dippy eggs.

 

what are dippy eggs?

 

soft boiled eggs that you dip the strips of toast in.

dippy eggs and soldiers.

 

Some of the LA's apply for round here too... the main thing that hit me was Floyd ('99) and Isabel ('03) hit Southern VA and NC hard, even though they were low category (Isabel had been a four or five and the surge came with it once it downgraded and came onshore)... there were corpses floating everywhere because of the above ground cemeteries near Dismal Swamp.

Nothing compared to the Bahama busters that come into nola. I wouldn't mind throwing a nice hurricane party this Summer, but we're overdue for a big one, too. I haven't gotten a Farmer's Almanac for this year. (Because the Weather Channel is a pos when it comes to these things)

I quit watching TWC for hurricanes when John Hope died in '02.

http://www.weather.com/newscenter/topstories/johnhope.html

 

Are you smoking in my general direction?