yesterday was the worst day of my life(hope you dont mind this posted in this forum)

BTW sweet i was a suicide case, i was on the ward and needed help and a psych put me on meds to help with the seritonin. Although sometimes that does need to happen oh well. Now i'm helping children with problems of their own. So if i can do it any can.


He listens, he jotted down. They have a life to, and MANY patients. Councellors are they to listen not judge. I'm going through school to be a social worker. You know my heart goes out to any one that has problems but i don't condone sedlf pity. Start looking on the outside -In

 

when i have a husband who listens to me why would i pay some overpaid doc to sit and stare at me and write down what i say...i dont think so
our society is way too dependant on these kinds of people for help....my hubby was a psych major in college...he didnt fnish because basically they tell you in college that all you have to do is sit and listen pat them on the back and send them on their way....its a ridiculous job!
my husband is the best person IMO to listen to me, not some stranger with a pad of paper and a pen

 

sorry, but I find this very offensive. I'm going to grad school soon for abnormal psychology. I want to help people and provide them with alternatives to help themselves instead of medication. There are good people in the feild that make a huge difference in many people's lives. generalizing is wrong.

 

please get off your thorn sweet! Why bow down to you and your sweet this that and everything . For your information theres way more to dr's than you may think. STOP ASSUMING and GENERALIZING. Maybe it is time you take a walk in the park to se who you really are because itd not everyone elses fault but yours blaming everyone BUT you.!!

 

why would i blame myself?
it wasnt my decision to miscarry
and every doctor ive ALREADY BEEN TO has told me im fine, im normal, women who miscarry all handle grief differently...
i really do think im not the one who needs the psychiatrist...

 

why would i blame myself?
it wasnt my decision to miscarry
and every doctor ive ALREADY BEEN TO has told me im fine, im normal, women who miscarry all handle grief differently...
i really do think im not the one who needs the psychiatrist...
__________________


Are you referring to me Sweet!! Plzzzz pshhhh . Yah okay . I'm becoming a social worker and your sitting on your goddess thorn wanting everyone to bow down to you. BTW the colleges and Universities don't tell you .. you have to say this that or the other thing , so i don't know whre your hubby is coming up with that nonesense. you are playing mind tricks with your own minds. You are a very lucky young lady i have told you that before because they found WHAT was causing your miscarriages whereas theres tons of thousands of woman that want to be able to carry. Plz Next time you want to tell someone they need to see a psych look in the mirror because it will definately break because of all the misery your putting everyone through/in.
Wouldn't you think i'd make a good councellor . I don't put up w/ bullshit like your putting out . its a crock of shit .. DEAL wih it. If i had to .. i did . I have to deal with the fact i can't HAVE kids . So there . dos that make you feel better ? huh? Does that make you feel a hell of a lot better knowing you'll be holding a precious baby and a women that wants a baby won't . go screw yourself you selfish bitch

 

this is why i belong to 4 or 5 pregnancy loss groups and barely come around here anymore...theres actually women out there who give a damn about other women instead of making them feel like garbage....try finding someon else to pick on, obviously its not working with me

 

why would i blame myself?
it wasnt my decision to miscarry
and every doctor ive ALREADY BEEN TO has told me im fine, im normal, women who miscarry all handle grief differently...
do ti really hink im not the one who needs the psychiatrist...----------------------------------------------------------------
do ti really hink im not the one who needs the psychiatrist...
----------------------------------------------------------------
Rethink what you stated. maybe if you think what you put before putting it i wouldn't have harped on you like i did.

 

hmm...odd...all i put was women handle grief diffferently, none of this ws my CHOICE....
that makes no sense....
u had zero reason to harp on me , i was mearly stating my own personal opinion....this is america right??...

 

Aloha and sorry for jumping like this...

I couldn't resist. You are suffering. I'm sincerely sad that you are suffering and it takes a grieving period to get through it, that's normal.

Depression when you are grieving is normal. Grieving and depression for an extended period of say 3 years isn't normal.

That's when it becomes dysfunctional.

No it wasn't a choice that you made. You body seems to have hijacked your will, and you are on this discovery of how to cope with that.

I'm noticing a strong desire to *get better*

Those are good things. ANd you need to appreciate the instincts that you have to get better.

Gently may I say that I see polarized thinking. Meds and Psychologist are generalized and lumped together as bad.

Whatever happened to the rainbow colors? Not everything is black or white Sister.

If you get clear about what you want, make a clear plan to get there, put it out to the universe, you'll get what give out...

Life's a circle. I am hoping that you remember that. When we die we don't go anywhere, so with all these beloved spirits hovering around you witnessing you going through all this suffering, why not talk to them about it?

You aren't alone. Even your precious baby that you've never got to know here, on this plain is close to you. Talk to the baby, make a bond with it's Spirit.

You are here for reasons, to work through this suffering. You're not alone in suffering, we all suffer, we all feel pain.

Don't isolate and get stuck Sister, you just have to see that WE LOVEEE YOUUUU!

 

thank you so much for your kind words
i talk to my babies daily, and the only reason im coping with this at all id because those two babies carry me daily
everything you said is true!
i defintly believe it

 

Aloha and sorry for jumping like this...

I couldn't resist. You are suffering. I'm sincerely sad that you are suffering and it takes a grieving period to get through it, that's normal.

Depression when you are grieving is normal. Grieving and depression for an extended period of say 3 years isn't normal.

That's when it becomes dysfunctional.

No it wasn't a choice that you made. You body seems to have hijacked your will, and you are on this discovery of how to cope with that.

I'm noticing a strong desire to *get better*

Those are good things. ANd you need to appreciate the instincts that you have to get better.

Gently may I say that I see polarized thinking. Meds and Psychologist are generalized and lumped together as bad.

Whatever happened to the rainbow colors? Not everything is black or white Sister.

If you get clear about what you want, make a clear plan to get there, put it out to the universe, you'll get what give out...

Life's a circle. I am hoping that you remember that. When we die we don't go anywhere, so with all these beloved spirits hovering around you witnessing you going through all this suffering, why not talk to them about it?

You aren't alone. Even your precious baby that you've never got to know here, on this plain is close to you. Talk to the baby, make a bond with it's Spirit.

You are here for reasons, to work through this suffering. You're not alone in suffering, we all suffer, we all feel pain.

Don't isolate and get stuck Sister, you just have to see that WE LOVEEE YOUUUU!
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Sweet- this is what everyone has been telling you in SO many ways. How ppl say things especially when ppl say things differently. I hope one day you can realize we are all helping you in one way or another.
____________________________________________________________
How you say things ....example -like some ppl need a psych was not called for. After all the stuff we go through i personally think when you think outside the box see outside the box you underatand more . Not yor mother sister aunt friend brother sister a professional. Your family /friends won't want to hurt you(not you personally). Do you understand what i'm trying to say , if not i can clarify that w/ you.

 

no, i sensed kindness from the person you quoted above, thats the difference

 

what are you trying to say we aren't kindhearted. EVERYBODY here has been trying their friggin hardest to help you and you fire back. we are all kind. "you sensed kindess" EVERYONE here has given you kindess every since you posted the first thing. Its how you take it. open your eyes you'll see more of the whole picture .

 

YEs they are right Sweetdreadlover.

How I posted was validating what you are going through and it's a form of empathetic communication. I'm a nurse with a little experience in the psych field. By no means a professional in the psych field.

We go through so much suffering, and one of the things we do is mistakenly think we are alone in it and no one knows but us how we are suffering.

Because we recognize and empathize does not mean that we invalidate. We are witnessing and it's safe to go through all the rationalizations of holding onto the pain, but don't you think that carrying it around with you for the rest of your life is such a heavy, heavy burden?

I am trying to lighten my load, as I'm sure a lot of our Sisters here are. It's important for us to do this as the children (and the spirits of children) don't understand heavy grieving, chronic grieving.

In Buddhism, it's believed that that souls of the departed hang about us, and if we grieve too much, show too much attachment, the spirits will get lost in the Bardo and not have a beneficial incarnation. (Tibetan Book of the Dead) What we need to do is pray for them that they detach from this plain and recognize their true selves, and the journey ahead of them. Not to get stuck in the illusions of fear of the loss of the body.

THe Buddhist also believe that the souls that incarnate into babies that die are some of the purest souls, because their karma is so pure that the attachment to this place of suffering is so short, and their work here so short. Short and sweet.
They come and then they go, like the tides of the sea, and what message are they bringing? To me, love is the open sea, perhaps these babies are coming in to prepare the way.

If it is meant to be, these souls come into your life for a reason, to honor that sacredness I would prepare for the receiving. And I remember when my Son came here, I made myself and my nest quiet and calm. I limited traffic around him and how bright it was and I was sensitive to his needs.

I think that in Bali, the children aren't allowed to touch the ground for their first month of life, in recognition of how close to the heavenly realms they still belong to.

I'm pretty sure that when You've prepared the way good things will be attracted into your life.

Sometimes when you are given trials and tribulations, it is to temper you and help you.

It's a lot to take in, and by no means the answers.


I don't expect you to get over it, not even close. I think sometimes crises intervention, wether with counseling and meds is the answer. Not for everyone.

SOmetimes, allowing someone to witness the pain you are feeling and to help you see the process is a really healthy thing. Especially if you are spinning wheels over & over, thinking about graphic details, losing sleep over it, suffer physically, can't get out of bed and not functioning. THat then is a time to ask for help, have someone watch over you and be an advocate for you.

Counseling without meds is good too. I've not taken meds and I don't use drugs or drink, and I don't smoke anymore either. Sometimes life gets really hard and I miss that distraction. I have to feel it all, and it's a bitch.

If you are in crisis, it's important for you to be with people that can hug you and feed your spirit what it needs. If your are stuck find the guidance out of stuck place. If you are taking one step at a time, that is good. Keep breathing, eat well, move your body. And endure.

When the light shines at the end of the tunnel, know that your are strong, know that you made it through and now you have to make ready for beautiful things in your life.

IF this helps I am gladdened but then if it's not a help, throw it away. No bother, you are loved eternal.

http://www.buddhanet.net/metta_vp.htm

 

You might like this other forum that I'm a part of.
www.passboards.org
It's all female members who've had miscarriages, abortions, or lost children in some other way.
It's been extremely helpful for me.
I hope you check it out.

 

ok, I have just read this entire thread and I have several things to say.

First of all, I don't think anyone here was trying to hurt you. Everyone just has a different way of expressing their thoughts and I think people were just trying to offer you some different perspectives, as it can be hard to see beyond your grief during such a hard time. I understand though how you could think some people are picking on you. Please, try to see that we are all wishing you the best! I have to say I hesitated to comment here again because I don't always have the best words, but I wanted to let you know that my thoughts are with you.


I agree that if you focus on the positive - that there is hope of having a baby - that you have a loving husband to support you etc. - and if you make a plan to get what you want and stick with it, you will get there.

From what I have read, Hughes Syndrome can be treated very successfully with the aspirin/vitamin schedule you have described. You know what the problem is, and you can treat it. You are thankful for that aren't you? Many women never find out that they have this, and are just labeled as infertile. period. You have been given a chance to overcome it.


I also don't think that you should completely rule out any/all forms of therapy. I am another who has been helped immensely by seeing a psychologist. If nothing else, it will give you yet another perspective to help you get through this time. I hated the thought of it at first too, but I got to a point where I figured it couldn't hurt just to try, and I had to try something. There are many that will not just sit there while you talk while they jot things down, I think most will help you try to see different ways of looking at situations and will help you find ways to help heal yourself. Sometimes when we are in such a dark place in life it helps to have some unbiased guidence.

I want to send you many many prayers and much love for the great journey you have ahead of you. I really wish you all the best. Keep doing well for yourself and overcome this challenge. *hugs****

 

I also found a support group for women with Hughes syndrome who are/would like to be pregnant. Maybe you can find more inspiration and support there.

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/HughesSyndromePregnancySupport/

 

i forgot to clarify my doctors nurse was wrong itwasnt hughes syndrome i was diagnosed with it was MTHFR, which has made me alot happier, because its easier to overcome with a vitamin regimin and my doctor said i have about an 85% chance of having a healthy third rpegnancy...
thanks girls for the wisdom
dont think im throwing ideas awy just because i am voicing my opinion,. i have different beliefs then others just like every other human on earth....disagreeing is what throws individuality into the world.
at any rate, i will look into these groups and see what i can fnd
i already administrate a few groups online and i have ALOT of other angel mommy friends on other sites
oce again thanks so much for the help

 

well thats good news!