Would you date a fat person?

This is such a sensitive subject for so many people that we now have people asking for an honest thread in which heaps of people are giving their honest views to be shut down.

I never once said anything about 'fixing' anyone. Analogies have already been given, but hey, here's one more: if someone had low self-esteem, wouldn't you want to help them feel better about themselves?

I'm not saying I want to help fat people, but I do think it's wrong to accept them as they are and not admit that they would be happier if they were thinner. It's like saying 'go ahead, eat that extra cheeseburger, because it's okay to be fat, because you're still wonderful and anyone who would reject you for that is superficial and doesn't deserve you anyway'.

I think that all of this 'there's nothing wrong if someone's a little chunky' or 'it's impolite to point out if someone is fat' is completely bullshit, because these people shouldn't be protected from the truth. Fat people are almost universally unattractive.

I have nothing against a little extra padding or voluptuous women... that's sexy. But when they're HUGE, that's revolting.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yUTJQIBI1oA

in response to the comments about fixing or changing fat people...

 

Many people are overweight, not because of genes, but because of simply overeating. If you're overweight, yet you are doing everything right, then don't sweat it.

To answer OP's question:

I wouldn't date a fat person. It's not a judgment call, or proof that I am superficial. I have my own tastes in what is attractive. Everyone does, whether you like to admit it to yourself or not.

I'm a 5'4" 'tall' man, and I clearly understand how many women could be turned off by my height. But there are women that would find my height to be a turn on. And one person's sexy is another's blarggh - This is important to realize.

There is no need to be insulted. There is always someone out there that would love to wrap themselves around you.

 

good point. i'm a tall girl, and i'm personally not attracted to guys who are taller than me (5'10"). my preference is for shorter guys, just like some guys preferences are for shorter girls. i'm sure my height has probably prevented some guys from asking me out, but whatever. if i'm not their type then it wouldn't work anyway. its really just the same concept for "fat" or "skinny" people.

 

Go, Musikero - that is a great attitude to have about the whole thing - I'm right there with you, bro! That's exactly how I feel about my weight loss right now. It makes a huge health difference and you do feel so much better, doing it the right way and with the right attitude...out of self-love and self-respect. Way to go, man!

I agree wholeheartedly with your statement about pity vs. empathy...however, I didn't really see anyone demanding pity in this thread...also, I hope you're not talking about my post when you say that some of the overweight people demanded pity - I even stated that I resent pity and find it very offensive! I'm the one who chose to eat too much and be sedentary and I did it to myself, and now I'm doing something to change it, because I respect myself and would like to better my life - better health is part of that for me, so I wanted to change my lifestyle and I did. And the weight started coming right off, quickly at first, but kind of stabilized over time. I'm losing about 4 lbs. a month now, which is pretty standard. At any rate, I never wanted sympathy or pity. What I do like is when friends and family take notice of the weight loss and say, "you're lookin' good," or "your clothes are getting huge on you!" Those things are nice to hear, although I don't neccessarily need to hear them, they are nice when I do. Encouragement is way better than pity any day! Pity lets people stay victims, encouragement reinforces a take-charge, empowered attitude (ideally).

 

Well, being happily married, dating isn't an issue for me, and for the record, my husband is tall, thin (not skinny!) but well built. I myself may be somewhat obsessed with my weight, but when it comes to others, I honestly could care less.

For the sake of argument, if I were in the dating world, yes, I would date a (and I hate to say this word because it sounds almost dirty to me) "fat" person. I mean, really, who cares? What matters is how they treat you, their personality, whether you enjoy their company, whether they make you laugh, make you happy. Despite their overweightness (is that even a word?) do you yourself find them attractive? When it all boils down to it, it's really what's inside that counts.

 

Just because people do not agree or do not like what they read on a particularly sensitive subject doesn't mean it shouldn't be discussed. And I'm not going to shut down a thread just because people are arguing.
The only time I'm going to shut down a thread is if it degenerates to flaming, which I have yet to see here*. I've been following this particular thread closely and while there have been some heated exchanges, I have not come across anything that would make me consider shutting this down. Until I do, this thread stays open.

EDIT:

*I will also close this thread if it strays way off topic.

 

I never would.

 

I would consider dating anyone--tall, short, small, or large. What does any of that matter? We all come in different shapes and sizes, and that's just the way life is. Not all overweight people are overweight because of their diet. Genetics play a factor, too. Yes, I will agree being unhealthy is not in the least bit appealing, but not all obese people are careless about their health. All that matters to me is an attractive personality. People make poor choices and mistakes, and I would not refrain from dating someone because of bad habits. Let's face it: we all have unattractive qualities. How would you feel if someone chose not to date you because you're naturally petite? What if they accused you of being anorexic or simply "too thin"? Think before you make such generalizations.

As a side note, I find chubby guys cute .

 

no, because I do not respect people who don't respect themselves. fat meaning obese or mildly obese anyways. A lot of fat people are selfish, lazy, and are walking/ living proof that they don't care about themselves.

Some people who are mildly fat or chubby can help it but people who get obese don't.

 

thats bullshit. i'm not sure now many personal relationships you have with people who are overweight or fat, but many of my friends are fat and they are the nicest people you could hope to meet. they are the exact opposite of selfish and lazy, and i deeply resent your cruel and unecessary generalization.

skinny people can be assholes, as well as fat people. weight is not the defining factor in someones personality.

 

quoted for truth, fully agree

 

I said nothing of them being bad people, fat people can be cool people but dating them is usually a no for me. Although maybe not all fat people but most of the ones I have met, would not push themselves to lose weight, or go with the easiest way.

 

you said they were selfish, lazy, etc. those are generally qualities of a "bad" person.

if all you wanted to say was that you wouldn't date them, you should have just said that and left out the unecessary hatefulness.

and what does their "not pushing themselves to lose weight" have to do with anything? I have excess fat on my body, and guess what i did today? i ate cake and pie. i'm not actively trying to lose my excess fat, so does that make me a bad person? of course not.

you need to realize what you're saying, man up for the things you have said, and get your head out of your fucking ass.

 

I'd say physical traits such as obesity, smoking, alcoholism, drug addiction tend to say something about personalities.

 

i agree.

If you let yourself get obese and are happy with it, have fun with that. Being obese and just not wanting to change the fact that your fat shows that you obviously aren't too healthy or eat bad. But nobody can make you lose weight or make you do anything you don't wanna do.

In todays society fat people are made fun of, and are viewed as nasty because they let themselves become that big. Don't be offended by what I said if your fat, I did not generalize every fat person being a certain way, I was just stating the fat people that I have been around.

 

no, i'm not fat. i'm average size. but anyway, i agree that its unhealthy to be obese. i agree that you wont get obese by eating healthy and taking care of your body. BUT it is not a reflection of your character. that was the only point i was trying to make. i can understand how your views would be influenced by your experiences, as are mine, but these are things that should be made clear before you categorize everyone who fits that profile as having those undesireable characteristics.

 

All of the bigger people I have met are nothing like some of you are describing (selfish, lazy, ect). In fact, some of them are the most generous people I have ever met in my life. It's not always easy to lose weight. There ARE obese people who are working to lose weight but aren't seeing the results they want, or any results at all. Also, like I said, some of you are ignoring the genes factor. It's up to you who you date and don't date, but it's not very nice to stereotype and generalize, and that goes for everyone and everything!

 

Slightly chubby? Sure, if I found her cute otherwise. In fact I have been very attracted to a slightly overweight woman or two. I have dated a slightly chubby man, too, and while I didn't find the fat attractive, it wasn't a huge issue.

I truthfully don't think I would go randomly up to someone very overweight and hit on him or her, but I don't do that period, I'm too shy. I have also never really known anyone who was very overweight that would have been someone I'd date (thin or fat) to be tested and see for sure how I would react. If I, for example, fell in love with someone online, I would bet nearly anything I'd give it a go fat or not.

 

I really don't think people being overweight says ánything about their personality. You don't always know the reasons someone is overweight. Two of my good friends of which one is pretty much my best friend are quite severely overweight and they are fine people; nót selfish and nót lazy. I'd say I'm lazier then one of my overweight friends and I'm severely underweight.. weight says nothing.
People might overeat out of feelings of loneliness, might have control problems, they might have bad genetics for fat storing or they might not have the feeling of being full strongly (just like I got the oposid; I don't really feel it when I'm hungry, I just eat because I'm told its good and I'm sure it is)