Would you date a fat person?

Hold on, let's make this clear: no one has said anything about lazy, but in order to be OBESE (rather than plump) one simply has to over-ingest. And likely possess a rather sedentary lifestyle. Let's not be in denial of an obvious fact.

Does that say anything about the CHARACTER of obese people? Well, it says that food is a substitute for an emotional lack --- like cigarettes, like alcoholism, like excessive TV-watching or excessive anything...

Does that means that emotional lack is an INHERENT flaw, or that obese people have no personal worth? Or that obese people are all lazy, or all this, that, and the third? NO! Absolutely not!

I respect the PERSONAL WORTH of obese people, and I may even feel attracted to their personality. But physical affection is a PHYSICAL phenomenon (not platonic) and therefore requires PHYSICAL attraction...so it is unfair to me to ask to be PHYSICALLY attracted to someone if that is not the case; even though I might respect their personal value.

This stuff about "people should not be judged by their appearance"...How is physical attraction a judgement???

 

I'm actually distancing myself from a fat girl ATM. NOT because she is fat, NOT because I don't enjoy her company, but simply because she won't accept the fact that I won't have sex with her. As though it was a CHOICE who I'm physically attracted to...


Further, her roommates are all slim and gorgeous. I don't think that's a coincidence. When I attended her birthday party she displayed protective body language toward me, as though we had a commitment. Later on she said that if I made a move on one of her friends, she would resent that.

So, I think there is a bit of denial in that. Trying to compete with slim women is her way to pretend something she doesn't like about herself does not exist. She knows she over-eats and doesn't exercise enough --- and she's trying to change her habits. For that I commend her, but there is still a level of denial in trying to compete with friends which were obviously chosen by her for their looks.

I've been rejected for being a smoker too...so, no big deal. But I'm not in denial of the fact that smoking limits my social acceptability (even quite aside from health hazards).

Cheers.

 

Good point as well...physical attraction is subjective and varies from person to person. We can't really help who we prefer physically. That's just life.

 

I have to ask...your name is auntJEMIMIAeatsTruffles...and your saying that you eating habits are healthy? Just kidding around of course, but I am quite curious about the choice in username.

As for your second point...yes. Although I should point out that the two aren't entirely unrelated.

 

K who ever "thinks" appearance" and this and that come first take a look at what really come first.

secondly, i'm plump. YEY ME!! YEY ME!! BUT i'm Healthy and losing weight and i eat healthy and i CAN KEEP up holy shit . A FAT person keep up . no fucking way.

thirdly. Just cause you see fat don't mean everyone feeds their face 24/7 so all you ppl out there need to stop generalizing.

Forth- Once your in a "fat" persons shoes speak until then shut up.

 

If we were in a fat persons shoes...we wouldn't be posting here. This thread was created for skinny people to make their choice and back it up. And most of us agree that it IS safe to generalize that being fat = taking in more calories than you burn. So simmer down punchy.

 

Obviously I don't represent every fat person on the planet, only myself, and for myself I am telling you that I am not living a sedentary lifestyle. Until quite recently I visited the gym at least 3 - 4 times a week, the only reason I stopped was because I moved to a small town with no gym and am in the process of getting some home gym equipment. I regularly go trekking here and overseas. I have heaps of food allergies so I can ONLY eat fresh ingredients. I have a job that involves alot of physical labor. I am fitter and healthier than most thin people I know, but yet I find it impossible to lose weight.

and no I don't eat truffles - allergic to chocolate!

Obviousyl being a fat person I was not welcome in this thread to begin with though and so I will leave you.....

 

It isn't about eating healthy foods, it's about eating foods that don't make you fat and making sure you burn off the calories. Eating a chocolate bar every day isn't going to make you fat. Eating ice cream every day won't make you fat. It's when you combine lots of different fatty foods in huge portions that's the problem. And then you do nothing to burn it off.

Look at Asia-- they tend to eat a big breakfast, burn it off through the day, eat a big lunch, burn it off until the evening, and then have a small dinner. In the west, we usually eat small breakfasts, small lunches and then a big dinner... but at night, we do nothing to burn it off, so it collects as fat.

When you walk down the street in Japan, Taiwan, Korea, etc, you see maybe one fat person for every two hundred thin/athletic people. And usually, the fat person is from the west. And they look disgusting in comparison.

The reason for this is actually more social-- fat people are reviled, and so they all eat right and simply refuse to be fat so they will still be liked. But at the same time, a lot of them go to MacDonalds and eat really unhealthy foods. They don't get fat because they don't eat huge portions at night.

Fat people also exist in the west because the media says it's okay to be fat. Fat girls attack you if you tell them they're fat, saying 'you're so superficial', and 'I don't want anything to do with you because you can't see who I am' or something like that.

And then you hear all this talk about how horrible anorexia is and how many girls have bulimia because they have a negative body image and it's given them a horrible disorder so it's better to be fat because at least then you're not bulimic or anorexic. But really, the only reason girls have these disorders is because they're:

a)fat in the first place
or
b)stupid about losing weight

And since most girls in the west are either fat, ugly, or a total catch that most guys would be afraid of, most guys lower their standards and settle for some chubby girl and say nothing about her weight, therefore validating their right to be fat. Maybe because the man himself is fat? But then, chances are the woman doesn't find that attractive either, but has settled for less because he did the same thing.

People need to realize that there actually is a lot of things wrong with being fat.

 

Jemima --- I understand people's metabolisms are different. I eat loads of unhealthy food, and at night, drink lots of beer; I have never worked out 3-4 days a week, and never get past 145 lbs.


However, you seem to be in denial of something very basic --- fat is MATTER. That matter has to COLLECT in order for someone to become obese. No one is BORN obese. And for that MATTER to COLLECT, one simply HAS to INTAKE more than EXPEND.

Again, I wish to repeat that this is not a sweeping judgement on your CHARACTER. But it seems pretty clear that you're in denial of the fact that obese people eat more than they burn. Period.

Even though I may burn faster than you, I INGEST IN PROPORTION TO MY METABOLIC RATE. That is why I'm of average weight for my height. Although in winter I do grow love-handles!

If obesity were purely a matter of chance metabolic differences, SOMALIA would have as many OBESE people as the U.S.A.

Saying that obese people do not overingest is equivalent to the alcoholic who claims he "doesn't drink that much" or the guy who bums cigarettes from others and claims not to be a smoker.

The first step in solving a problem --- and obesity IS a problem --- is to admit to it. I am now going through a lot trying to quit smoking. And I have already made a lot of headway in resolving my drinking problem. My problems are no less important than yours, and I empathize with you for that very reason. Changing well-established habits is difficult. But the first step in changing an unhealthy habit is ADMITTING TO IT.

 

Great wonderful Awesome. get hit by a cars 4 times in 1 yr than tell me how you feel. Get a diagnosis told to you by drs and tell me how you feel . Being Healthy is all that matters you think FAT is your fucking name because your over 160 -90 lbs its what counts. Your mother gave birth to you -she was once FAT not gunna talk to her? huh?

What about your gf/ wife fiancee ? Your fucking bs'ers. I hope one day you realize how strongly you are using your words because words DO hurt!

 

When I first came to this thread, I didn`t know what to think. Because over weight people, are people too. I told about my friend, (who really isn`t my friend too much--but that is a different thing, personal attitudes about life and people in general. She was pissed at someone and the world all the time, couldn`t handle it. Was bringing me down.) I don`t like degrading people. I try to bring them up as someone who counts. Because they are a person and NO ONE IN THIS WORLD should make someone feel bad. Over-weight or not.

I`ve been both fat and over-weight-- to be truthful without clothes as a size 6, I am still over-weight at 5`. If it wasn`t for the fact my hips spread too much after having 5 boys since I was 22yrs old and still some settling on the ass. I would be in that size 5 that I want to be.

I guess what I want to say is to get up and go for walks, don`t eat the wrong food, and I wish I could give every over-weight person a true friend that would love them and stand beside them for encouragement to keep on going because they do count and everyone needs real true love in this world. In a realtionship or platonic.

 

I would possibly date someone who is a little chubby, or randomly hook up with them. But anything more then just a little extra, i cant handdle. And i deffently couldent marry anyone even a little overweight. I just wouldent be able to handle knowing thats what i have to look foward to for the rest of my life.

 

i wouldnt date anyone obese. im not attracted to unhealthy or unactive people. i like physically demanding outdoor activities and eating well.
the guy im crushing on right now is overweight though. not a lot, but hes definitly a bit chubby. i just think hes adorable and squishy. im attracted much more to a guys attitude that his appearance. if hes confident and funny and sweet, that makes him sexy.

 

Okay people. Let's just all remember what the original question of this thread is, which is: "Would you date a fat person?" In other words, are there people here who have a preference for fat people, or who don't really have a preference but don't care that much about weight anyway and so don't mind dating fat people? We are talking about PREFERENCES here.

Now I'm overweight myself, but I don't really care if some people are not attracted to me. So I'm not their type - BIG DEAL! I have my own personal preferences when it comes to choosing women and I don't see anything wrong with having them, so why should I hold it against people if they PREFER a slimmer, leaner person instead of someone like me? So I say, hey it's all good! Besides, I have someone who loves me and desires me and that's all I need.

That being said, just because I'm feeling good about myself DOESN'T MEAN I'm not doing something about my weight. But I'm doing it out of love and respect for myself, not out of insecurity or because I hate my appearance and I think that I'm ugly. I exercise and diet because

a.) For the first time in a long time I feel lighter when I move
b.) My clothes fit better
c.) Sex is much better
d.) I'm healthier and
e.) I'm happy right now. (^_^)


Just my two cents.

Peace,

Musikero

 

Having sympathy for fat people validates their excesses and makes them victims instead of helping them with their problem.

 

I don't mind a little chub. Just a little, though. Some people have a little natural chub.. around the belly, face.. whatever.. I'm cool with a little. As long as the person is still moderately healthy, heh.

 

accepting them/us lets them/us be human again, instead of a walking tub of lard as so many people in this thread seem to see us

 

It's important to respect people's problems and empathize with them. But without pity --- is right. I can already see a few people who claim to be overweight on this thread demanding pity. PITY only reinforces the problem --- it is not an uplifting attitude. So, I tend to agree with the above, so long as one realizes there are many other problems aside from obesity and a lot of us have problems.

P.S. Met a chubby girl yesterday. We kissed. I got her number. She is not obese, just a little chubby. Not even what I would say is "my type." What made her attractive to me? She takes care of herself, does not demand pity, is not insecure. She had a nice long silver necklace dangling all the way to her belly, a black women's suit, and pink highlights to go along with a strawberry blonde hair. Now, it seems like I'm being superficial, but I think appearance DOES reflect people's personalities. If I see someone that takes a little extra time with their appearance, I tend to see that as a sign of someone worth relating to.

 

It would be unwise to see someone as having a "problem", unless the see themselves the same way. It would be very aggressive to "help them with their problem", unless you were asked. "I'll date you and together we'll work on your problem", is weird even when it is well meant and not controlling.

Did you hear about the recent study that among active people (of all ages) that fat, even obese, people have better health than those with the target BMI?

 

You are right. I stand corrected and genuinely agree with your statement.