worst way to wake up

in a coffin or a burning house. or men in black breaking down your door to abduct you to some secret prison to be tortured. those would be. obviously i haven't yet in THIS life.

although number three of that list seems to keep becoming more and more probable for EVERYBODY.

they came for the terrorists, but i wasn't a terrorist ...
they came for the activists, but i wasn't an activist ...

oh but worst ways i've woken up?

all too damd eplitive explative explitive often, out of a wonderful dream, by some explative explative's loud mouth/recorded music/radio/other retarded infantile means of demanding gratuitous attention ...

=^^=
.../\...

 

Well, this one time my brother came in my room smacked me over the head with a pillow (bloody hard) and then ran off. I was like wtf?!?!?

This other time my friend Raymond broke into my house at like 7 in the morning (on a Saturday) and started squirting water in my face. Just randomely....

Weirdest place I've ever woken up was a toilet on a drunken night I think... ooh! I once woke up in a tree! I climbed a tree and decided I was too tired to climb down again and fell asleep instead.

 

Fuck, I've woken up in some weird places.

On a train to Edinburgh(no idea how I got there), in a totally wrecked car(shirtless, surrounded by four policemen), outside a 7-11(midday, with a half bottle of whiskey still in my grasp)...and many more.

The worst way I've ever woken up was a couple of months ago on kerb outside a bar, at 4am, being groped by a 'lady' with a large adam's apple, who asked "What wrong? You no like?"

 

Growing up most of my friends were guys so I have a few sordid stories. I remember being really tired and going to sleep on the floor in my trig. class back in high school. We didn't have a teacher or a sub that day. Anyways my friend George woke me up by sitting on me and then farting on my back when I gasped for air. I beat the hell out of him for that and the whole time he laughed and said it was worth it.

Oh being woke up to the feeling of a warm wet sheet when my dog peed on me when she was a puppy. After that she didn't get water after a certain hour at night.