Worst movies you've ever seen?

Perhaps you didn’t read the title of this thread – worst movies :toetap05:

Crash – fantastic
Scary Movie – a laughfest of entertainment and fun
Batman Begins – non-stop action and excitement
X-Men The Last Stand – the perfect ending to a great trilogy
Glory – Morgan Freeman was as stoic as ever as the black militia from massachusetts fought heroically


The other two movies I haven’t seen; although from your previous reviews I suspect they’re budding oscar level performances


Hotwater

 

I really didn't like the second Twilight film, it was too depressing and teenage angst-like.

Also, Roller Ball (the remake) was horrific. I like some of Ed Woods movies but Glen or Glenda was unwatchable.

Other films I really didn't like are The Assassination Of Jesse James, Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe, Son of the Mask, Boat Trip, Going Overboard, Alice In Wonderland, Corpse Bride (not dreadful but overrated) and most of the Saw series

the first one had a point, the rest are vehicles for some idiots twisted imagination. I do not want to watch the many different ways you can kill or bludgeon another human being.

 

Corpse Bride was overrated. Part of the reason I won't see his new one.

*add to shit list*
Land of the dead
AvP
AvP 2
Terminator 3
Robocop 3
Deep Impact
Starwars 2

 

Dude...lol

Crash: A series of coincidences during which we discover that the racist cop who fingerbanged the black broad actually has a heart of gold? Ugh.

Scary Movie: This series spawned so many awful movies. Basically, the "Scary Movie"-type film consists of: 1.) A recognizable actor making 2.) a pop-culture reference while the filmmakers 3.) count their money, confident that a moronic public will eat that shit up.

Batman Begins: Cool action, I agree. But there's no interesting bad guy. Liam Neeson generally rocks, no doubt...but not in this flick. Just a depressed hero fighting a bunch of cliche "We do this for the greater good!"-type baddies. SO fucking lazy. As far as cliche villains go, I'd rather see Batman fight a bunch of Neo-Nazis. At the very least, watching Batman in a rural setting would be original lol

X-Men The Last Stand: Perfect ending!? Bro, c'mon! The theme of the first half of the film (should folks with "defects" cure themselves at the expense of their identity?) resonates with so many real life issues. But at the end we have some goofy fuck in a helmet that looks nothing like Juggernaut crashing through walls whilst trying to kill Juno. Wtf is that shit? Horrible, horrible film.

Glory: Yes, we saw Morgan Freeman fight heroically...through the eyes of white people. I'd find it more interesting to see the Civil War through a black Union soldier's eyes. Ya know, fighting heroically for a society that, despite all that awesome Emancipation Proclamation stuff, still largely regarded them as barely human. Instead we get black folks getting the warm approval of white people as they march off to invade an impregnable Confederate fortress with a bunch of loaded fucking cannons...

Btw...keep this going. It'll be fun to trash these movies as you defend them. (And you made good points for each, I must say.)

 

I’m not suggesting that Crash is deep or insightful but I really enjoyed it and I know I could easily find myself in the exact same situation only worse; I’m black, I drive a luxury car, and my girlfriend is white

I know Scary Movie was filled with every cliché, taboo, and stereotype imaginable but it was still fun, and you can’t fault a movie for having numerous bad spin-offs or you’d condemn half the movies in Hollywood

Regarding Batman Begins; I admit I would have liked to have seen more of Dr Jonathan Crane (The Scarecrow) but otherwise it was great.

X-Men the Last Stand: I loved the movie; It was a bit dorky but so what, and final battle and the setting in San Francisco seemed appropriate for the personalities involved.

Glory: I grew up in Massachusetts and I’ve passed the war memorial for Robert Gould Shaw and the 54th Massachusetts regiment dozens of times, and while the movie was shown from a white man’s perspective; unlike (A Soldiers Story, 1984) the story was really about Col. Shaw (whose figure dominates the war memorial) and not about the first all-black civil war regiment.


Hotwater

 

I agree about Crash and Scary Movie... but Batman Begins was great-- way better than the Dark Knight. It was paced more evenly... and was actually about Batman, as opposed to being about whatever the Dark Knight was supposed to be about. It wasn't supposed to be about the villain-- if you want that kind of story, look at the other Batman series... but the villain they did use fit in perfectly with what Batman was experiencing. And there's never been a film about how he gets all of his gadgets and such made... and building the Batcave, as well as realistically explaining why someone would dress up like that.

Dark Knight was basically an exercise in cruelty and depression... like the writers wanted to think up how many violent, disturbing things they could get the Joker to do. There was simply too much going on-- and not only was Two-Face sorely underused, but his transformation was totally unconvincing.

Don't get me wrong I think it's still a pretty good film, but Dark Knight had a lot of the same problems that Spider-Man 3 did... trying to blend emotional weight, the requisite action sequences, and too many bad guys = too much plot, not enough movie.

 

Crash was a little silly, but not the worst film of all time. Overrated?? .. uh, yeah.

Scary Movie was funny at the beginning, but later ones were a little crude. Maybe it's because i'm not a fan of toilet humour.

Batman Begins was great, and had you put any of the big name bad guys in the place of Liam Neeson's character people would have loved it. Says more about the people watching it than the film.

X-Men was a bit crap, I agree there. They would release 1,000 of them if it still made the companies money.

Final Fantasy wasn't what I wanted it to be, but I enjoyed it for what it was. Shouldn't have been associated with the game series, as it really wasn't anything like it.

Haven't seen Glory.

 

I think I forgot about the prequel trilogy-- easily some of the most expensive shitty movies ever made, which probably gives them the edge. I recently watched the original trilogy (without the annoying Special Edition crap) again on VHS-- and it rocks... but it also made me think of about twenty different ways that the prequel trilogy could have been better.

They're all pretty bad, but the second part is probably the worst... I actually prefer more Jar Jar/annoying kid to the 'romance' between Padme and Anakin. Anakin is actually really really creepy-- totally full of himself, hateful and boring... and usually when someone goes on racist rants about killing Sand People, it tends to put girls off... well, unless they themselves have no class, but princesses tend to be a little more enlightened, especially if they're good.

But this is of course but one of the many many many problems that this series has... and to get into all of them would probably take weeks. In fact, it would need its own thread.

Yep, the Star Wars prequel trilogy movies are probably the worst ever made.

 

The first two movies in the prequel sucked; but you have to admit the final movie Revenge of the Sith was pretty good and had what the first two movies lacked.

Hotwater

 

As a Batman fan, I am offended that you called Ra's Al Ghul, the fucking Demon's Head and grandfather of Bruce Wayne's son/Robin, small name +_+

 

I thought so too... but I was wrong-- it sucks slightly less, but it's still pretty crappy. Also, it's depressing.

 

All the supermans and especially smallville. Superman is whack. And let's face it, they didn't need to create 15 season of rubbish smallville to tell the story about the crappiest superhero ever. And he's not even a superhero. He's some gay ass alien person. So fuck them. And the series is the worst shit I've ever heard of. Even the shorts are ridiculous. Anyone who watches it and likes it is a complete fuckin' idiot. Only idiots watch that wank fight monsters and aliens. It's all LOL.

 

So, you watched it?

 

I Spit on Your Grave (the original). I tend not to be too picky with movies. I don't watch a lot of action movies, or new releases. I like gore, violence, oddities. But, this movie was too much. It was glorified rape scene the entire time.

 

Nope, just the commercials.

 

oh then you would just love 'run! bitch run!'
the scene where the guy gets ass fucked with a machete is way, way, way cool!:drool5: :cheers2:

i know. i'm sick. i need help.

 

Almost forgot about this thread. Anyway...

Crash -- First off, I sorta feel ya in a reverse sort of way. I'm white, (at the time) I drove a true piece of shit car, and I had a black girlfriend from West Philly...needless to say, every cop in her neighborhood thought I was a doper looking for a vial. But Crash is still an exercise in cashing in on white guilt and (worse, as a movie-going experience) does it at the expense of the story. And the flick would have made more sense if Ludacris just fucked over the Chinese immigrants at the end. It would have provided irony, a subtle mindfuck to the fuzzy white liberal viewers, and, for the story itself, would have made Luda a more credible gangster.

Scary Movie -- Dude, I totally condemn half the movies in Hollywood. Just terrible shit right here. Scary Movie's success facilitated "Meet the Spartans" and so on. Retarded humor requiring barely any thought at all, basically. Sickening, a true symptom of America's clearly obvious lack of intelligence. However, I must admit...good shit for the dudes who profited from this piece of shit film and it's spin-offs/sequels.

Batman Begins -- I agree, they underused Scarecrow. But Ra's al Ghul is such a great villain. They shortchanged him something fierce. And Ghul's justification for his actions is SO FUCKING cliche. Surely, Batman's history is rich enough to warrant a more interesting version of Ra's in a movie. However Gary Oldman was, as always, awesome.

X-Men 3 -- C'mon dude, this flick was garbage. I love the X-Men. I was addicted to the comics as a child and still possess a healthy pile next to my toilet (great reading material for the coffee-induced shits, I must say). But damn, if Ratner would have cut the mutant cast in half it would have been much better. Instead it's just Wolverine looking tough, Halle Berry looking hot but being otherwise irrelevant to the story, and Jean Grey acting retarded. AND they fucked up the Dark Phoenix.

Glory -- Dude, you can't tell me this flick was marketed as an account of a white commander's battle experience. This bitch is about a black unit in the Civil War -- through a white commander's eyes -- and marketed as such. It could have been so much more interesting if centered on a black soldier's point of view. But this is American cinema, so flicks like Glory and (God help us) The Blind Side will always show us that, if oppressed folks just work hard enough (or possibly runs face first into a Confederate cannonball), white people just might award them with acceptance! Puh-lease. This flick, although it had so much potential, ends up being just another brain-dead feel-good story for a retarded, conservative public who likes to pat themselves on the back for, ya know, totally accepting Morgan Freeman regardless of (or despite?) his skin color.

Wow I wrote more than I thought I would. Waiting patiently for a response...this is fun...

 

Crash: If the movie was an exercise in white guilt; then perhaps you should ask yourself what you’ve done to feel so guilty and incur the wrath of Hollywood.


Scary movie: While growing up my favorite TV show was ‘In Living Color’ so I’ve always been a fan of Keenen Ivory Wayans; I just wasn’t certain if he could transfer his unique brand of humor to the big screen but IMO he pulled it off

Batman begins: Personally I’ve never been a big fan of Gary Oldman but I admit he was great as DEA Agent Stansfield in The Professional (1994)


X-Men: The Last Stand: Again I totally disagree; I loved the infusion of new characters like Juggernaut, Callisto, and Kid Omega, although Angel was a bit too much with those fake looking wings

Glory: From your perspective the only thing worse could have been if they titled the movie after the original novel 'Undying Glory'


Hotwater

 

Crash -- Hm, you really missed the point on what I said. I'm not talking about my guilt (because I have none). I'm talking about the type of hypocritical, fashionably liberal white douches -- by and large of a suburban, somewhat affluent variety -- who get off on films like this. You're gonna pretend Crash wasn't made (and very much did) appeal to people like that? It sums up the "liberal" film industry perfectly...the same industry that stars the gay white cowboy as the titular character in Prince of Persia and a bunch of totally not indigenous looking kids in that crappy Airbender flick. If Hollywood were a person, he'd be a trust fund hipster who really loves having exactly 4 friends who "happen to be" minorities.

Scary Movie -- Eh, Keenan's okay. The Wayans', especially Damon, suffer from the Adam Sandler Syndrome. IMO, when they're in retarded, annoying movies, they come off as retarded and annoying. Damon is ridiculous in the Great White Hype (hilarious movie) and Marlon was good in Requiem for a Dream (although Requiem, as a whole, was pretty stupid...diet pills don't do that).

Batman -- Dude The Professional was a great movie. Fuckin loved it. Oldman's character was insane. 100% agree with you there.

X-Men -- In a perfect world, The Last Stand would have focused more on Xavier and Magneto's ideological differences in practice. X has the moral high ground, but sometimes it's hard to argue with Magneto's logic. If Singer had directed instead of Ratner...eh fuck it, I'd rather not tease myself.

Glory -- I'm not talking about the source material, just the flick itself. It represents most of the same bullshit Crash does. Sorry, but I'm really sick of race-centric movies out of Hollywood. As far as most mainstream 'race' flicks go, we either get A) another shitty Spike Lee flick or B) faux-liberal bullshit. If we're gonna have what practically amounts to a 'race genre' of films, I'd prefer to watch the movies that aren't stuffed with platitudes. Just gets on my nerves, mostly because wealthy filmmakers pat themselves on the back for doing society such a grand service. Fuck them.

Heh. This thread's making me feel negative like a motherfucker. In contrast to my complaints, District 9 was amazing. And as far as terrible movies that I love because they make me laugh, Kids and Baby Boy are among the best. Awful in a good way. (Anybody else laugh when Spider got AIDS? Or when the fat kid from Wild and Crazy Kids had the gay soliloquy in Tyrese's backyard? Terrible, terrible shit...but hilarious in it's seriousness...)

 

I admit sometimes Hollywood producers can be self-righteous sanctimonious pricks but their hearts are in the right place

As for District 9; It was great (and I started a thread in new movies before its release) although you can’t convinced the Nigerian government who still won’t allow the movie to be screened anywhere in the country



Hotwater