Wife sent sex-picture to male "friend".

Depending on where the OP lives, the spouse cheating (if she did) doesn't really matter. If he lives in a 'no fault' state, he would file under irreconcilable differences only. Infidelity has not been used as ground for divorce in a long time in many states in the US. It will not help his case, even in custody battles usually. It is in his best interest not to make any threats to get her to sign papers, as it can backfire when it comes to property settlement, etc. Settlements, alimony, etc are all dependent on how long they were married, and the property acquired during the marriage, and so forth. Most states have a pretty clear formula of how assets are divided.

Then again, the OP may not want a divorce, and to work things out. Infidelity does not end all marriages, and she may not have cheated...just sent the pictures and made lousy choices as a wife. Or, the wife may be the one who wants to file for divorce, so she can get on with her life. Hard to predict since we only get one side of the story, and the OP hasn't been more forthcoming with information.

 

OP, you pretty much know she's going out with this guy, and is pretty sloppy about it too. It's probably going to end badly, but here are your choices.

1. Find this guy, beat the shit out of him. You'll feel a lot better, might get thrown in jail. Who knows what it would do to your relationship which appears to be sliding down the toilet but you'll have a moment of brief bliss (unless of course he kicks your ass)

2. Suggest seeing other people (visit the other forum of free love for opinions on that). Course this will probably just work out better for her than you unless you make some new friends. I whole heartedly believe this route will end your relationship in destruction as well.

3. Go to marriage counseling ASAP. You have a serious problem and whether your wife realizes it or not your marriage is on the brink. You and her need to be woken up to this fact NOW...

4. Along the lines of #3, you need to sit down with her, tell her you know something is going on. If she declines or says nothing is going on it's total BS. She has definitely crossed the line and you are being played, plane and simple. I honestly feel for you as she has decided to put her marriage & kids on the back burner and is pursuing things with this other coworker, who obviously doesn't give a shit about you, her or what family he might be destroying.

Seriously OP, you need to at the same time ask yourself some serious questions... She's obviously cheated on you. Doesn't have a lot of respect for you, your kids, or your life if she's chosen this path. If you could actually turn things around, would you really want to? If there were a light at the end of this tunnel could you actually bring yourself to forgive her? I know there's a lot at stake, a marriage and kids are something not to be taken lightly, and yet she's committed the ultimate act here. So at this point your marriage may be lost already, but if not again ask yourself if you can live with what's happened? Or is it actually better to break up and move on?