Why??? Please tell me why..

it might be that.. and i did change him a lot, but he's really beyond all chance of change. i need to keep reminding myself that he'll day will come. his life is going to catch up to him sooner or later and he'll suffer. and ill be the one making him miserable.

 

Im sure he's hurting alot, he's just trying to be a hard ass and pretend it doesn't effect him. But, at night he think's about you. If he was really in love with you.

 

nope.i tried to give renee the point of view from a father that is in almost the same situation.i know she doesnt like me because of it,but thats ok.at first he was hurting.she was in the "do i still love,want or need her?" category.now she is in the "i hate her"category.and unfortunately the child has been moved into the same category.im sure that everything has took a turn for the worse as soon as he got the court papers.now instead of his child being a good thing in his life,she has turned into a regret.haveing a kid turned into the biggest mistake i ever made and i will NEVER have a kid again.

child support is not always the best thing for the kids.most of the time its the worse thing you could do for them.i would have no problem giving my ex money if she just came to me or called and asked for it.but no she had to go the court route.well you know what that has caused.i havent payed it and im not gonna pay.a court is not gonna tell me what to pay or do.i cant afford it and she knows it.she told the courts a bunch of lies to get the most she could.now the courts dont care about a word i say.


you do what you but be warned that the choices you have made and will be makeing may or may not get the results that you seek.

 

Renee, I think is very normal for you to still feel this way, especially in your situation. Just try to focus on why you are not with him anymore and how much positive your lifecanbe with him out of it. Also I dont think that just because he's going out with other people it means that he has completely moved on and feels no pain, I think that's his way to distract himself from the pain and the things happening now. I know that just because a person doesnt show any emotions, doesnt mean they are not feeling them and I think guys often do that when a relationship ends, they act like they dont care and everything's cool, but inside it's a completely different story.
You should continue trying to keep yourself busy, dont think so much about what he's doing and what he's feeling, because it doesnt matter anymore. You know you are better off without him, so keep working on in making your life as a single mom, a good one.
:hug:

 

"If you love someone, set them free.
If they come back, set them on fire." ~George Carlin

 

lol unfortunately your child is the one who is suffering in your situation. You may think that the mother did the wrong thing, but she only did what she had to do in order to protect her child. You said before that you hate your child and wish him dead or whatever.. So if I was her I'd do the same thing. I'm sorry that I think that dead beat dads who get drunk and do coke and don't work should have to still take responsibility in their children's lives. If you have a child you need to take care of it!

Steve doesn't care about child support.. I don't know why you keep talking about it. He told me that he'd give me money here and there when I needed it, and he didn't!!!! So I'm going to get it through the courts, and if that doesn't work I'll have him arrested. If you can't afford a child, or are unwilling to take care of them than don't have any!! Steve doesn't want me to have sole custody cause he wants to be able to take her on vacations and stuff for weeks on end without me, and that's not going to happen! If he wasn't a drunk with a drug problem, and actually had a license than I would be fine. But he's a loser with a huge criminal record so he's not going to get those priveledges. Besides ultimately it's not up to me, it's up to the court system.

So please stop talking to me about your psycho opinions cause you're just another dead beat with a grudge, and unfortunately YOU'RE the one taking it out on your child. Steve doesn't hate me.. He just doesn't want to be with me. He wants his freedom. He'll never grow up, and he doesn't want to take responsibility for a family. Now he is free.

 

The best way to get over those kinds of things is to change yourself, really, it's the only way... Listen to your ambitions, ride the wave of your life at the present moment, don't get stuck. This may be the most cliché thing I've ever said, and God knows I hate saying that kind of crap, but then again, the world we live in is what we make of it, we're the ones with perception, perceptions can change by changing a part of your essence, not by covering it with booze or xanax. Sometimes the best decisions are the ones that change your way of viewing life and living life. We always need one of those moments a couple of times in our lives...

You know, he's probably doing all this shit cause he's a bastard that likes making people feel like shit, he's happy to know you feel like shit... It gives him the drive he needs, while you're feeling like shit you're making the person you despise become even stronger... I believe that is a contradiction to your will. So start feeling like a champion and he'll become the one feeling like shit . Build some kind of indepedance. No one in the world goes through life better than one who finds happiness in himself, who can rely on his own Self to feel good...

 

I guess I'm one in a million

 

Thank you

And you know I was much better today.. Last night when I got in bed I started getting sad again and thinking about it, and was crying and bla bla bla.. But then I though you know what? I really really hate him. He used me and hurt me and I was NEVER happy with him! So why am I doing this to myself?? Why am I torturing myself over a guy that I never even really wanted to be with?? Plus it helps when I see cute single guys at the grocery store who won't stop checking me out!!!!!! lol I'll be okay soon. I just have to try and control these desperate moments that sometimes happen. I'm going to get back into my routine this week.. No more drinking, eating very healthy, and working out everyday, and then hopefully I'll start feeling better.

 

I may have posted this before but your age belies your wisdom. Well said. You remind me an awful lot of Relayer.

 

Introduce Mr. Finger to Mr. Back-of-the-throat.

He'll come a' runnin' once that jowl fades away baby, promise.

 

Me too, actually.