Why do we have to pay for everything?

As usual, with you it's "this is the way I am and therefore you're all wrong".

 

it isn't just me, you brat. i've developed my standards along with and entire generation of women who didn't wanna take too many gifts just incase too much was expected of her. i was also rasied to believe that it's okay for women to call boys (GASP) and give them things. i was also raised (along with scads of other classmates) that a couple beers on the beach created a successful date. again, i question just WHO you're targetting as potential mates, because i haven't seen a woman content to have a man pay for everything or even pick them up at home since my mother's generation.

 

RE: i question just WHO you're targetting as potential mates, because i haven't seen a woman content to have a man pay for everything or even pick them up at home since my mother's generation.

Well I guess all the males in this thread are going with the gold diggers, or something.

Let me tell you something.

For every girl like you there's three who think opposite, and they aren't "gold diggers" they just expect that if you ask them out, you pay for it. I mean Jesus check out Dancer Annie's thread about movies for single men

"Check this out! You need to learn how to romance a girl! Woo her! Buy her things! Make her swoon! Make her feel special!"

Call her a gold digger. Or maybe you and I can sit on a beach, drink a couple of beers, be bitter towards each other and see where it goes, but frankly I don't see considering female psychology how that would work.

 

well, basic etiquette does state that if you request someone's company for an engagement of some sort, you pay. but you've got the choice of what you do. i usually had very little money, so i had to be creative. if you wanna take someone out, and you're the one doing the asking, pick something fun and cheap to do. if she doesn't like it, tell her to fuck off. dave paid because he was a stickler for it. frankly, that wierds me out. makes me feel beholden to someone, and i know a lot of girls who feel the same. which is why i responded by "repaying." and yeah, i did have sex with him the first time out, but that wasn'tmy repayment. that was for me. i repaid him by doing nice things for him. i really don't know any women who won't do the same, except, like i said, my mother's generation.

 

"Hi! I'd like to go out with you. Let's walk to the mall and watch the elevators go up and down".

There IS a reason why men buy status symbols that indicate some degree of earning potential.

I understand you're not like that and applaud you. But MOST women expect a man to make more than her. Most women expect to be asked out, and paid for on a date.

 

I dont like letting people pay for my drinks when i go out. it feels like i owe them something and makes me really uncomfortable. I usually buy the first round and then my friend pays the next one and so on. no big deal.

when eating out i like paying for what i consumed. I used to be really generous with my money when i had a permanent job. though i didnt earn much, i was happy that i could at least think of buying someone i cared about dinner and be able to share a nice meal and a good chat. now i have less money, but then i havent had a date in centuries.

i honestly dont recall letting someone pay for everything.

my female friends are the same.

 

i can't completely disregard the concept of women expecting things from their men that i find unreasonable, like the whole valentine's day nonsense and shit like that. wtf? and no woman really wants a deadbeat, so demonstrating some degree of financial success is good. we are animals, after all. the man with the right nest wins, right? but women don't wanna feel bought. and i have to admit, any man that allows himself to be taken advantage of deserves what he gets: a shallow, self-interested, selfish example of womanhood.

i DO infact know a girl who dated a guy long enough for him to purchase her a pair of tits. but you know what? she truly is the exception.

 

I kinda base my personality on all or nothing. All or nothing is very important to me, and I recognize it almost immediately in various situations.

 

I would just like to make on point on guys that I've seen use many of my friends, they will make the girl pay for everything and expect her to, these are called gold diggers, they come in each gender. Just thought I'd point it out because I've seen it happen to a lot of girls. And like someone said you don't have to pay for everything, just find a woman who's not gonna use you for your cash, if you really want her and she's set in her ways, forge a discussion with her about the absurdity of the whole deal. Good luck.

 

I'm AMAZED! Truly amazed. The thick headedness of the women here is just astounding. Don't get me wrong. I respect the lot of you, and I'm sure there's a reason that this isn't penetrating that I'm not understanding. But please. Just read this carefully, because I'm getting frustrated.

Now if I'm correct, I'm talking to a bunch of feminists. And feminists are suposed to know the difference between gender roles and specific examples. And that a specific example does not negate the problem, if there is one, with a gender role.

What I see is a bunch of women coming in here and trying to trivialise a real problem.

"I would just like to make on point on guys that I've seen use many of my friends, they will make the girl pay for everything and expect her to, these are called gold diggers, they come in each gender."

"and i have to admit, any man that allows himself to be taken advantage of deserves what he gets: a shallow, self-interested, selfish example of womanhood."

"i honestly dont recall letting someone pay for everything.

my female friends are the same."

Kinda like a bunch of men going into a discussion about rape and saying "well, I've never raped anyone, and neither has anyone I know, so it can't be much of a problem." or "men get raped too, y'know." Really out of place, and absurd.

I'm gonna borrow a tack from feminism, because you're used to this kind of reasoning and might see the point if I put it this way. If I don't pay, I'm cheap. If I do pay, I'm asking to be taken advantage of.

 

RE : i never feel i have to pay for everything. but i like doing it because i think its nice. and when going out for a meal its easier if one person pays. even though ive never really had any money it was something ive always done.

This is known as internalising your gender role. We think we're doing it out of our own choice, and it really does feel wrong to deviate. But really we've been sculpted from birth to act this way.

 

well, seriously, your relationships are in your own hands. who you ask out is your problem. where you take them when you're the one in charge of the entertainment for the evening is also your problem.

 

and, honestly, comparing your payment arrangement with rape? whatever.

and stating our case here is what we're all doing. i know you're not speaking for my husband. i know you're not speaking for my brother. not ALL MEN are doomed to be beggared by the quest for pussy.

 

Ehhhhhhhh....

Betcha 20 years gender roles go


>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Vrewwww


<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< Vrewwww

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Vrooshh<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

 

What really gets to me, KC, is that I know that you're familiar with this already. But you only recognise it when it applies to women.

Women are in control of their diets. Noone's literaly forcing them to starve themselves or make themselves vomit. But you wouldn't react very well if I told a woman that it was her own stupid fault and that she should eat some fuckin' food, you moron!

You completely ignored my point. SPECIFIC EXAMPLES, no matter how wonderfull, DO NOT NEGATE A PROBLEM WITH A GENDER ROLL.

 

I know, David, but WHY do I keep seeing it, again and again. NO ONE, lately, can even mention rape or sexual assault of a female without certain persons having to bring up, not only "men get raped, too" and Elene Bobbit and the cut off penis. It IS absurd. As if these examples negates ALL female rights and makes ALL womyn shitheads. Because a few womyn behave badly. But, I know you aren't bringing these things up, but we have to keep seeing them anyway.

 

Back on topic. The tradition of men paying goes back to the not-so-long-ago days when men had cars and money and womyn did NOT! (Like, the 70s, when I started dating.) I worked in several places where the boys were hired for 25 cents more an hour than the girls were. I once asked why, and I was looked at like I was an idiot. The reason the boss gave me, "Because....they're boys." Oh, well, that explains it. When I started dating, in the 70s, most of the boys had cars, most had been bought by their parents, few of the girls I knew had them, or were given them. My best freind's father actually HAD an extra car, but she didn't get it when she got her license, WHY, "It's for Joe, when he gets his license." 3 years later. So it sat there.

The 59 cents to a dollar thing isn't just "feminist" hyperbole. It was truth, and it still isn't equal. Where my dh works, the men, who have no college and no training are steered into the "Tech" jobs. Which can make up to 80,000 a year. But the womyn, wit the same education are put into the "Assembler" jobs, top salary? $30,000, after 7 years on the position. I once asked my dh why there were NO female Techs. He had no answer. I asked why there were no male Assemblers. "Cuz womyn have really little fingers." I started to laugh, "Bear, I've met Bertha, the Assembler, she's a bull dyke, her hands are as big as yours." But if you apply at my dh's place of employment (an electronics firm in the Fortune 500) and you are a man, you get to be a Tech, and make up to 80 grand, if you are a chick, you get to be an Assembler and make, maybe $30,000, tops, if you are there forever.

This shit is STILL happening, TODAY! It amazes me that people think every thing is equal, Reminds me of people who think "There is no more racism." OMG.

 

why is it, then, that i have to give men credit for the ones who are willing ot make a compromise for the greater good and fair treatment, but you're unwilling to give credit for women who are also working to bring and end to an unfair practice?

 

RE: not ALL MEN are doomed to be beggared by the quest for pussy

I mean, take me for example. I sure as hell am not.

 

lol. this is very true.