Why are women so intimidating?

Okay, I am definently not a man-hater. I have way more male friends to female friends; I live with my boyfriend and his roommate. I want to say this for the record. That said, yes, there are a lot of jerks out there who do act very harrassing. I have been harrassed many times by guys who try to "give me a lift" when I was walking from one bar to another down the street. Other boys have used horrible pick up lines as a joke with their buddies. Still other boys try to take advantage of me if they buy me a drink. (First of all, I order a cheap beer and talk to them while I am drinking. Buying a drink is a way to socialize, not get laid. Perhaps they hadn't learned yet...) I do understand why a chick might be rather defensive when approached by a guy, especially if she had just had an encounter with one of those jerks. There's no way of knowing who is a jerk and who is a genuinely nice man. Too bad there's not a warning tattooed to jerk's foreheads...

I have met plenty of great men out there; I live with two of them. I certainly don't think the majority of men are jerks. But the few that is out there ruins it for the rest of the men.

Also, I will point out that there are some women who are jerks as well. So there's no way of knowing which it is until you start to talk to her. Maybe next time, try making conversation about her. Women love to talk about themselves (well, most people do!)
Asking her if her food is good is a pretty safe topic as opposed to approaching her with a "hey, you're hot!" (not saying that is what you did!) Then once conversation is flowing, break in with the "I think you are an attractive woman." comments. This goes a lot better with most women. If they don't give you the time of day with the first part, then you're better off not talking to them at all because they're probably jerks to begin with. Hope this makes some sense!

Peace & Love
dharma mama

 

Haha.

Good thread, by the way. Not that I actually have anything to add.

 

Actually, women just assume you're married. Jeff Foxworthy did a routine about that.
The difference between married and unmarried men

WOMAN: "I need to get my tires rotated"
UNMARRIED MAN: "Ha, I'll rotate her tires, if ya know what I mean"
MARRIED MAN: "Hey! I've got a coupon. If you head to Tire Barn on the fourth Thursday of the month..."

Actually, one of the blessings of no libido is looking on with INCREDIBLE AMUSEMENT as I unwittingly pulled off that sort of thing time and time again as a teenager.

It's even funnier when "Miss Thang" thinks she's all that and a bag of chips, too, and I'm like "no, just the ketchup. Cheers." You should have seen the look on the cheerleader/model's face when she wanted me to do her computer homework for her.

 

If I'm interpreting this correctly...


Going by some posts I see in this thread, somehow I think it's less a matter of them being intimidating, so much as it is one's self-esteem setting oneself up for failure. When you're shy, anxious, and worried a great deal about just what the heck is gonna happen, it's very difficult to pull something off successfully, since it is obviously more forced & contrived (especially if you attempt to come off as confident) and it fucks with these kinds of situations...

I know this all too well, because I very much have this kind of problem. I don't even dare try to approach women (at least not for dating or romantic purposes) because my shitty self-esteem gets me to compulsively worry about how I come off, and then worries about the outcome, but it ends up being a self-fulfilling prophesy 'because my anxiety makes me act in ways that elicit the very problems I'm try to fend off. Until I someday get my self-esteem back into order, I've decided not to even bother with approaching women (for purposes other than platonic).

The fact that so many guys ARE jackasses, makes it even worse for those who are sincere - and hey, if you're sincere (which I see many females are skeptical of, for good reason) AND you have a crippling shyness that sets yourself up for failure regardless of sincerity, it is indeed frustrating as hell. And then when you're sincere, you're anxious as hell (because you know they're intimidating, heh) AND the women then react in an intimidating manner (out of their own skepticism?)...

 

Women are confusing because men are confusing.

 

i dunno. just by the amount of flack i've taken from the males of the species, i kinda understand WHY my mothe rmade the concious decision to get ugly. i've been groped and harassed by males since i was 8. i've been stalked, insulted, hated because apparently i'm a bitch if i don't wanna date someone. and my mother was 10 times better looking than i was, during an era when NO ONE blamed the man for being sexist. since i developed an ability to be somewhat frightening to men i don't want to bother me, my life has become easier and my relationships with men far better and more respectful.

 

YES! this is so true, if I had a dollar for every man who's said "you must be a lesbian", or insulted me when I turned him down, I'd be a rich woman.

I think truly it depends on the kind of day the woman you're trying to talk to is having, and whether or not she feels that the guy is sincere. The past copule weeks, I've been hit on by 4 men who were either married or had serious girlfriends. It really does suck that the nice guys have to pay for what the assholes do, but honestly, after all the assholes I've been through, I don't know if I'd know a nice guy if he bit me in the ass (metaphoricly speaking, lol).

Anyway, I think that as long as you're sincere, and don't drop lame ass lines, you're good. Also, as to the original post, if I read correctly, you were only hitting on that girl to prove a point, and your friends were prolbably sitting behind you laughing, that immediatly puts the girl on edge, and makes her wonder.

 

Sigh, you know what this tells me?- I should just listen to my parents and get arranged to some pretty Indian girl from back "home" and bring her to "America" just like in the countless desi movies. Because these so called American grown chicks are psychos.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-4532245984549289375

See THE FRICKING VIDEO, i completely agree with my homies there.

 

i feel your pain. i used to hate women, too because i wanted them and didn't really know how to go aobut getting a good one or breaking through the fortresses they have to erect to not get fucked over. though it's kinda funny to me that you revert to blaming women for protecting themselves....

 

Women aren't intimidating at all. In fact, society specifically molds them to have on average lower self-esteem than any guy could ever possibly have.

 

There is no point, If that is all you got from what I said, then you deserve what I said earlier. Again, there is no point to this. End of discussion

 

aw. you hate to be disagreed with. seeing from the other guy's perspective is irritating.

 

seriously, you DID ask why women are so intimidating. i answered. now you're mad. import a woman who can't speak your language. she'll just nod yes all the time.

 

I love you KC




but seriously... you asked a question, got a myriad of answers, and now you're upset that those answers were real and genuine, yet without an easy solution to deal with?

 

I can see the other guy's perspective and no I don't hate to be disagreed with , but there is no point to this discussion, thats why I have said what I said and again I apologize and good luck to you all.

 

If only women came with a checklist...

 

i'm just trying to make you understand that there's a warm, sensitive and somewhat scared but totally acceptable woman hiding under the layers of scarring. this girl you were talking to, well, she started out a bit scarey, but she mellowed a bit and gave you an opening. but nearly all of us have been stomped on and messed around with so much by assholes that it's hard to recover our game after that. a woman who walks around too easily approachable often ends up being attacked by the assholes.