Who's got a question?

Idk...he's never fully explained it to me.
He just loves it.
Going to PT and training
He even has some of his friends involved
He's a tough motherfucker and addicted to pain

 

alright, i've got two
1) should i follow him to texas?
2) is it selfish to be scared for my best friend's death, because i don't know what i'll do without him?

 

Interesting about your relationship, however your signature is even more interesting:

~A smart girl listens; but doesn't believe,
Kisses; but doesn't fall in love,
And leaves; before she is left~

I get the feeling that these statements are at least partly tongue-in-cheek. You know, I think, that it's only by extending ourselves and becoming vulnerable that we fulfill our spiritual goals in any given life.

Not that I don't feel your pain, because I feel it only too intensely, via my own experience. But the pain is for strength, dear, even if it sometimes seems to be meant only for crippling us.

And I feel a strange dynamic in all this...what you SEEM to fear in him is something your soul secretly longs for, even in the midst of your fear.

You know, the people we attract into our lives and are attracted to romantically represent parts of ourselves that we are grappling with in some way.

So the key to this relationship you're in is to find the part of yourself that longs for the direction he's going.



Addiction to pain? I wrote a poem about that once...examine yourself to find that addiction - I see it in your signature, but you haven't fully embraced it.

 

Lol i think your mistaken...

Our "relationship" is just really close friends.

But thank you very much for your opinion

 

will the person who goes by the name lust come back into my life?

 

Emotional dependence.

You know what I'm talking about?

What do YOU want for YOUR life, without regard to any particular person? This is consideration number 1. Determine what YOUR goals are, patiently, without hurry. Then and only then are you ready to determine if going to Texas or anywhere else in the universe with some other person fits with YOUR goals.

Death is an illusion of the living. If you want, you can be with your friend, even when he's dead. This requires a certain sensitivity on your part - it may be that this is part of what his death might be designed to accomplish. To find his soul within yourself, you need to know and love yourself better. There is no shame, ever, for ANYTHING. We are what we are because the Creator made us this way, and your existence is part of some incredibly complex overall plan. Let go of things that are temporary, and hold onto the things that are eternal.

 

Okay then.

Why does this concern you so much, if it's "just" a "close friend?"

 

1) i want to be with someone that makes me this happy for the rest of my life. i admire everything about him. i want to make him happy. i want to be with him. but i don't think i belong in texas.

2) i don't understand all of that. but it made me tear up. he's the best thing that's ever happened to me. and i can't imagine any good coming from losing him. honestly, in 100% truth, i'd rather give up my own life just to let one more person experience him.

 

i answered that incorrectly.

I WANT:
to see the world, to fill my heart, to learn, to find someone to love with every ounce of my heart, and i want to learn ballet.

 

BunnySuit, I think what you cherish in him is something you have in yourself but have denied so far.

Be what YOU want to be. Then you'll go wherever you go because of who you are, NOT because of something you see in another person that you THINK you lack.

Have faith in yourself. You can be what you want to be, with or without anybody else.

 

this is like a riddle. and my mind hurts. i'm no good with riddles.

 

Because i care about him

I have known this guy since the 6th grade lol

I love him, but not the intimate type lol

 

Yeah, I'm not sure what exactly is going to happen to anyone, myself included.

 

It sounds to me you are going through some confusion. Read "The Doors of Perception" and "Be Here Now". Both of these books changed my outlook completely. Don't worry, time heals all wounds.

 

Ditto.

 

I am quite the artist my friend.

 

Only you can decide what to do, all I can do is try to influence you by pushing you one way or the other. Your life is your choice, blaze your own trail. I cannot do that for you or anyone else. Your life, your decidsion.

Live and let live

Be Here Now

There is no reality except in action.

 

If you don't think most people in the world are brainwashed, you're one of them.

It's all propaganda.

Even this, it's everywhere you look.

Is that not THE TRUTH?

Don't you tell me I don't know the truth, I live in the same world you do.

Lose the illusion and THINK FOR YOURSELF

I'm sure as hell not going to give you the satisfaction of labeling you.

I'm not doing this for attention, I want to help.

You can judge me all you want, but I'm not going to judge you or anyone else.

I KNOW how things work around here.

Grow up.

I'm not after you, I'm after them.

 

This experiment is over for me.

Never again will I try.

 

Ok....then.....
Will i have a good birthday this year? lol