Who Brought Up Wife Sharing In Your Relationship?

Sallymae, That great and all, that you have a wonderful “closed” relationship with your husband.
Many of us here have the same thing too, except on a different level. Yes, our relationship is “closed” too, but open sexually to others. Sex with others is just adult play that enhances an already strong relationship. Each of us must admit that we all have desires. Sallymae, I mean no disrespect here, but It is selfish to not let your spouse have his own. You do. Surely, your not jealous or insecure. I’m just trying to understand. Compersion is a powerful tool to combat jealousy. Read about it.

 

In third grade, my teacher wrote "doesn't play well with others". Still true. But yes he brought it up seriously just one time. We were at a resort and he had funny nicknames for everyone. One woman he called "Supermodel." She was tall, long legs, very pretty, blah, blah, blah. Anyway, one day I went shopping and he went to the pool. Somehow, by complete accident (or so he claims) she had the lounge chair next to his. She was also alone and they started talking. She brought up the suggestion (I actually believe that part) and he claims she wanted to be with me more than him. Whatever, we both decided it wasn't right for us. No violence was involved but I'm sure my face said "Best if you drop it."

 

Jealousy implies that we are envious of what someone else has. Or somehow we fear someone taking something away. That's not at all our feelings. For us, monogamy is the choice we have made and what makes us happy. He's mine and I'm his and that makes us happy. Another person/persons wouldn't make us happier so not our thing. To each his own.

 

Also, saying "no disrespect" doesn't make saying I'm selfish any less disrespectful. If you'd like more women on this board, I'd not stop that.

 

Sallymae, Actually this is a great conversation.
To remain monogamous is to be respected as well.
With my marriage(s) I remained true and never cheated, even in the worst of times. Married now 22 years we both realize that we can’t be everything, all the time, to each other, sexually. As I stated earlier our relationship remains closed to other, but we have opened our bed to others. It’s physical variety that we need. We play together, and stay together. Everything we do to out in the open. Nothing is hidden, This took some work to keep our emotions and yes, dare I say, “jealously” in check. We had to disclose our hidden fantasies and desires to each other, and be nonjudgmental. It has really taken our relationship to a whole other level. Yes, to each their own.
Ps. Stay on the hip forum. This forum needs more prospective from women.

 

For my wife and I it was inevitable being that we were both bi. Probably had more male partners than female but it was a good time.

 

I brought it up, asked her to fuck a friend of ours that had a big cock. I knew she enjoyed big cocks in her past from what she had told me and I wanted to please her by letting her fuck our friend. She didn't even think about it, she enthusiastically said she would. No resistance to the idea, no argument, not upset with me at all for asking. We both had a wonderful experience. Her fucking our friend and me watching the show.

 

I think most high testosterone men want their wives to be slutty. At least with them, like the old saying goes, "a lady in public and a slut in the bedroom". Men like to show off their wives. Every wife is a "trophy" to her husband. I'd say most guys like others to think they're lucky. Generally satisfied that other men are looking, a few like to take it a step further and have other men sample what he's working with. It boosts the ego and the libido. Plus then he can say, "you did such as such to him so it should be no problem with me", opening the way to a more adventurous scenario. I'd speculate that the "it's for her enjoyment" frame is to help get and keep her interested. And that loving the feeling of sliding into a filled cavity is an addiction that builds. We hear different justifications but I think there's a primal bottom line to it. Yet I know enough to realize that not everybody involved would sign on to it as I describe.

 

I brought it up after she told me how many men were asking her for sex. I knew she had fucked others in college and still remained committed to me, so I felt it was a low-risk venture to let her have some fun. She balked at first, but eventually had a few one-nighters.

 

Was this a one-time event or did she start fucking him on a regular basis?

 

Not to be a nitpicker, but "jealousy" and "envy" are two very different things. "Envy" is when you want what someone else has. "Jealousy" is when you're worried someone's trying to take what you have. Just FYI.

 

She had him several times but not on a regular basis, didn't want a chance for feelings to develop, plus she has a few others now to occupy her attention.