Where Has All The Love Gone?

And I agree with only some of the things on that list, but I think the VAWA has been a very helpful tool for to get those individuals out of really bad situations. Needs to be tweaked and renamed though.

Instead it should be the Violence Against Spouses Act, because the VAWA is sexist, and implies women aren't as malicious in a marriage by default.


2) should be legalized and regulated imho


1) the entire tax code needs rewriting, and not on just the issue of married couples (bigger topic here)


3) 3a. welfare (I support it at a cap) 3b. alimony (against because it's abused to much) 3c. childcare (support as long as their is proof that money went to support the child, residence giving shelter to the child, and food; I acknowledge the abuses were the parent takes the money and the child doesn't benefit from it, that's wrong.)

 

To an extent that's true, but that movement was much more than just sex, lust and love it was a rebellion against the establishment which was ignoring the truth about certain issues to the point where they were living a lie in the family (unhappy marriages and wives were very common they felt trapped), and in politics.

You also can't deny, that women were just as much pursuing the sex act(s) as much as the men were for entirely the same reason. It was pleasurably liberating to just let go (pun intended). So for some women, sure it was a con game, for others no because they knew what they were getting into.

Unfortunately, I think history has given us two answers to that postulation. Some can handle it, and others really can't. For some the wave of emotions that hits them seems to make them want to pair-bond, and for others they can move on to the next partner without much trouble. If this happens then we see all the jealousy stuff start and the entire movement became a bit of a hypocrisy as seen at a macro level.

Then AIDS, and children born of the movement came along and that didn't help the message.

But that movement certainly opened up scientific discussions about sexual health issues, and today's generation is certainly more open about sex than decades ago, so the remnant consequences of the movement of the 60's had more of a good ripple effect than a bad one as far as I can see.

Yes, other parts of the world have proven this to be true for humans in general, but I think this is because it depends on what "commitment" means to the parties involved, and this is cultural. Certainly there are drawbacks from a society that is too liberal and jealousy still rears it's head there as well.

In your last two questions, the answer is both parties need to be on the same page, if a relationship is going to work.

 

Yes!

And a lot of the women wanted to be 'bad', but still too tame to utter that horrible word: caj sex.

 

free love was not killed by AIDS.

we have to differentiate between "free love" and casual sex. I'm taking "free love" here to mean an attitude toward love, or a belief in a spiritual/political meaning to casual sex

free love and the hippie counterculture were dead or at least marginalized long before AIDS showed up

it certainly made casual sex and in particular casual sex without a condom more of a problem, but I don't think the frequency with which people had casual sex really changed all that much with AIDS

 

Love is a fairy tale sold to you by love songs, romance comedies, and romance novels.

 

Love is very real for me. I think that we are all different and will have very varied experiences of love and commitment. In the end we have to make it what works for us.

 

I don't have a good answer to this question, but I have remarked a couple of things that I can share.

I think what happened is that lots of men grew resentful when women got a little more freedom and less guilt about sex. And when one's resentful, one can't love.

I'm reading a lot around the forums and it is amazing how men talk about women. It's often kind of mean. Like they have a need to be offensive, for no good reason. They try to be demeaning in a casual way, to sting, but still be "cool".

Guys get turned down and come to resent women in general. Next woman they meet, they can barely hide their resentment. And women grow scared.

If you look around, it isn't only about sex. Advertising is about people being smart asses, humiliating others. It's cool to be mean, disrespectful.

 

Fell in love, was heart broken, don't want it to happen again.
thats the loop right...

 

this is really a seperate but related issue to what happened to "free love", imo.

I think that there certainly is resentment and hostility from men directed at women, just as there is hostility from women directed at men.

it's clear to me that the media, at least in the us, has largely come under feminist control. the media has been saturated with images of women abusing, insulting, disrespecting and dominating men. it has also presented a saturation of images of white women in implied or explicit realtionships with men of other races, but not of white men with women of other races. this has not been accidental, but as a means of psychological warfare, and essentially carrying out a feminist version of antonio gramsci's "pedagogy of the oppressed"

(from wikipedia)

while feminists have not been in the least bit anti-capitalist, they have successfully used gramsci's method with great success, if massively fucking things up can be described as "success"

much of the gender based hostility has been willfully manufactured by feminists

 

Perhaps if we all just stopped hating each other, we could grow into a better society.~

 

I think I may have a theory as to what is happening, society is like an asshole, if you don't keep playing with it, it will eventually tighten back up.~

That is to say that if we don't keep up the pushing and the maintaining of new and revolutionary mindsets then eventually our society will revert back to it's previous state.~

 

I see what you're saying, but I also want to say that I think that this is only one type of a feminist.

I know some girls who identify with the label of feminist, but at the same time really find distasteful of all the things that the media has done with marketing the imagery of female sexuality and all of that. So should we make an effort to differentiate between sub-groups of the feminist label?

 

I think that a term other than "feminist" has to be used by those who don't want to be part of a hate group.

I don't think that you can call yourself a feminist and not be part of a hate group any more than you can call yourself nazi or member of the kkk and not be part of a hate group. if hate group members use a name, and that name evokes an impression of the hate group, you have to call yourself something else in order to differentiate

so some other name is needed

 

What a great strawman. Misrepresenting men's complaints about women is the most self-serving way to dismiss them.

Men's complaints should be obvious to whomever is not a hypocrite. It's got zero to do with sexual freedom, no matter how self-important pretending to be sexually free makes you feel.

 

I don't think that I buy that one.

it seems to be the argument that all hate groups make, that "we" have to get "them", or "they" will get "us".

 

I have no idea how you got that conclusion at all, e7m8.~

It was just a guess. Maybe our society is still having trouble letting go of the last remenants of the conservative 50's mindset?~

 

I think loving someone without being with them forever would be a lot easier if everyone did that.~ That way you could love someone everyday and they would love you back, there would be no innate "demand" to stay with them forever, you could do that if you wanted to, but that would be something you would talk with them about.

 

That concept is hardly a product of the 1950s. It's been around for generations.

 

My last words after, "It was just a suggestion," was simply another suggestion.~ Not connected to my comment to e7m8.~

I'm sorry if I did not make that clear as I see how it could be seen that way.~

 

That doesn't surprise me in the least. You're a real space cadet.