When telemarketers call

Or act like you're really interested in their product, but seem preoccupied.

"I really want to buy your product Mr. Telemarketer man, but I have a lot going on right now. I'd like to buy it from you, because you seem really cool and I want the commision to go to you. So if you'll give me your home number I'll call you later on tonight."
"Well I'm sorry sir, I don't accept calls at home."
"Then what the fuck are you doing calling me at home?!"

 

Seinfeld "The Ticket" (1992)

 

Hmmmm.....I don't watch very much Seinfeld, haven't seen that episode. How close was I to what was in the show?

 

TEL: Hi, would you be interested in switching over to TMI long distance service.

JERRY: Oh, gee, I can't talk right now. Why don't you give me your home number and I'll call you later.

TEL: Uh, I'm sorry we're not allowed to do that.

JERRY: Oh, I guess you don't want people calling you at home.

TEL: No.

JERRY: Well now you know how I feel. [Hangs up]

 

I take it you watch a lot of Seinfeld lol. I think I saw that prank in an e-mail a few years ago but it was a lot longer and strung out.

 

Oh my, I somehow haven't seen that episode! Seinfeld is pretty much the only show I still watch.

 

- Me: Hello
- AT&T: Hello, this is AT&T...
- Me: Is this AT&T?
- AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T...
- Me: This is AT&T?
- AT&T: Yes This is AT&T...
- Me: Is this AT&T?
- AT&T: YES! This is AT&T, may I speak to Mr. Sharp please?
- Me: May I ask who is calling?
- AT&T: This is AT&T.
- Me: OK, hold on.
Put on hold 3 minutes
- Me: Hello?
- AT&T: Is this Mr. Sharp?
- Me: May I ask who is calling please?
- AT&T: Yes this is AT&T...
- Me: Is this AT&T?
- AT&T: Yes this is AT&T...
- Me: This is AT&T?
- AT&T: Yes, is this Mr. Sharp?
- Me: Yes, is this AT&T?
- AT&T: Yes sir.
- Me: The phone company?
- AT&T: Yes sir.
- Me: I thought you said this was AT&T.
- AT&T: Yes sir, we are a phone company.
- Me: I already have a phone.
- AT&T: We aren't selling phones today Mr. Sharp.
- Me: Well whatever it is, I'm really not interested but thanks for calling.
- AT&T: Mr. Sharp, we would like to offer you 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. Now, I am sure she meant she was offering a "rate" of 10 cents a minute, but she at no time used the word "rate." I could clearly see that it was time to whip out the trusty old calculator and do a little ciphering.
- Me: Now, that's 10 cents a minute 24 hours a day?
- AT&T: Yes sir, that's right! 24 hours a day!
- Me: 7 days a week?
- AT&T: That's right.
- Me: 365 days a year?
- AT&T: Yes sir.
- Me: I am definitely interested in that! Wow!!! That's amazing!
- AT&T: We think so!
- Me: That's quite a sum of money!
- AT&T: Yes sir, it's amazing how it adds up.
- Me: OK, so will you send me checks weekly, monthly or just one big one at the end of the year for the full $52,560, and if you send an annual check, can I get a cash advance?
- AT&T: Excuse me?
- Me: You know, the 10 cents a minute.
- AT&T: What are you talking about?
- Me: You said you'd give me 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. That comes to $144 per day, $1,008 per week and $52,560 per year. I'm just interested in knowing how you will be making payment.
- AT&T: Oh no, sir, I didn't mean we'd be paying you. You pay us 10 cents a minute.
- Me: Wait a minute here!!! Didn't you say you'd give me 10 cents a minute? Are you sure this is AT&T?
- AT&T: Yes this is AT&T...
- Me: This is AT&T?
- AT&T: Yes sir.
- Me: The phone company?
- AT&T: Yes sir.
- Me: I thought you said this was AT&T.
- AT&T: Yes, that’s what I’ve been saying, but …
- Me: But nothing, how do you figure that by saying that you'll give me 10 cents a minute that I'll give you 10 cents a minute? Is this some kind of subliminal telemarketing scheme? I've read about things like this in the Star and the Enquirer, you know. Don't use your alien brainwashing techniques on me.
- AT&T: No sir, we are offering 10 cents a minute for.....
- Me: THERE YOU GO AGAIN! Can I speak to a supervisor please!
- AT&T: Sir, I don't think that is necessary.
- Me: Sure! You say that now! What happens later?
- AT&T: What?
- Me: I insist on speaking to a supervisor!
- AT&T: Yes Mr. Sharp. Please hold.
- Supervisor: Mr. Sharp?
- Me: Yeth?
- Supervisor: I understand you are not quite understanding our 10 cents a minute program.
- Me: No, actually, I was just waiting for someone to get back to me so that I could sign up for the plan.
- Supervisor: OK, no problem, I'll transfer you back to the person who was helping you.
- Me: Thank you.
Put on hold 3 minutes
- AT&T: Hello Mr. Sharp, I understand that you are interested in signing up for our plan?
- Me: Do you have that friends and family thing because you can never have enough friends and I'm an only child and I'd really like to have a little brother...
- AT&T: (click)

 

The courtroom scene between Newman and Kramer is hilarious.

 

i just answer and tell them that my parents are off somewhere..like bush walking in tasmania or hiking through egypt. surprisingly enough it actually works.

 

I basically never answer the phone when telemarketers call. I've always kind of wanted to be an asshole or say something funny, but I'd rather just ignore the call.

 

Oh man, that's great

 

I do one of two things...

I refuse to understand what it is they are trying to sell me.

Or I say I already have one.

At work, Staples is always calling me to sell me some office supply shit.. I'm like "Oh Staples!... Hey, I already have staples... " They don't know what to do.. So I hang up.

 

originally, the no call list worked for landlines, and it still does........ I had myself on a no call list on my landline, and no one called me on my cellphone, but then it was passed that telemarketers could call cellphones, so I got my cellphone on the no call list too. none of them bother me at all.

 

the fucking do not call list didn't work for me. fuckers.

 

i give the phone to my baby. you know that delayed click, when they're waiting for the phone to be answered? when i hear that, i give it to my baby. one time i talked to this lady for nearly an hour, she got her boss on the line, thinking i was sold, and then i told her boss no thanks.

 

Did you give your number to radioshack?

 

I usually just hang up on them... lets them get to their next call faster saving my time and theirs... I used to be a telemarketer so I know how it goes.... and I've heard a lot of excuses for no... it was part of what made the job fun sometimes were the reponses from people.

 

I usually start telling them rediculous, long, elaborate stories on why I can't talk at the moment, and get them so bored until they hang up themselves.

 

LOL! I don't like being rude to people either. I usually listen to them until they finish their first sentence or two then I tell them I'm not interested.

Cold calling should be banned really. If I wanted to see an advertisment I'd switch on my TV

 

I remember hearing somewhere that if you are on the no call list, and they still call, that you can get some money out of the company that is calling because it is against the law for them to call you.