What's the drunkest thing you've said?

Oh yeah, like a year ago I was drinking in the street in new york city. an officer comes up to me and my friend Lauren (as I'm drinking out of a paper bag) and is like "how old are you young lady" and I say 18. then he says "have you had anything to drink tonight?" and I said "no I haven't" and he said "are you sure?" and I said "I only had two beers" then I was all like "hey I'm just trying to be honest with you" .. lol

it was so funny I think I ended up giving that officer a cigarette, and he was like "just do me a favor and get rid of that brown paper bag"

 

Whenever I'm intoxicated I end up making fun of people...

Actually I do that anyways...so I wouldn't call anything of what I said as being "drunk" sayings. I'm a turd


As far as that wine cooler thing goes, I wanna know why you were drinking enough of them to even get near puking?

 

LOL

 

"Look at that awesome sphere" referring of course to a 2 dimensional circular object haha.

 

"see, I'm pretty sure that I could fall that far and not break anything."

I jumped off these railroad tracks onto a hill of gravel and broke my ankle.

 

There was a hot girl that i met on the first day of school. I got really drunk off of capt morgan spiced rum and told her i would fuck the shit out of her.

 

I used to call my mom randomly when drunk. Haha.

"Hi mom. Yeah, I think I'll be coming home soooooonnnn..."

 

Hahahahah thats funny as shit.

 

"if you ever need a tit fuckin', seans got my number".

i was talking 3 way on a phone that night smashed. turned out she didn't think it was as funny as i did in my head but she does have nice tits so cmon.

 

"Crack that bottle! Fuck it fellas, were all gunna die tonight!" 3rd bottle of baccardi between 5 people. i got alcohol poisoning

 

im pretty sure i was trying to kill myself but i can only remember screaming that