What's Happening?

I've been calling between the doctor's office and the pharmacy trying to get hubby's prescriptions straightened out.

I'm also working on the "toss bouquet" for the wedding.

 

The toss bouquet is beautiful.

I used all the leftover flowers, ribbons, and a brooch.

Somebody will be lucky to get it.

 

Yay! My daughter-n-law paid me back the money I'd spent on the girls for the wedding.

It's a good thing.

My bank account has $1.85 in it.

 

I feel moody. >.<
A foul mood a brewing. With dark clouds and stink lines and everything. Someone's gonna cop a mouthful. :d

 

I know the feeling. I call it "rabid".

 

Ohhh but that makes me think I've got rabies or something lol.

 

You don't, of course; but just chew somebody's ass out like you do.

You'll feel better.

 

It's just annoying because we are about to head off on our camp soon and I can totally feel that

"sounded great when I planned it but now the day comes and I've decided I'd rather die"

It's just a culmination, I hope I used that right, I don't think I've ever used that word.. Sounds good.. A culmination of highs that lead to my inevitable downward spiral of bipolar.

 

Yes, culmination is right.

I do that when I build my expectations for something and then start doubting that it will be as good as I imagined.

Christmas was the worst. My birthdays use to do that to me too.

Just tell yourself that to get away is all you're looking to do, then anything cool that happens will be icing on the cake.

I do much better with events if I catch myself and remember to set my expectations lower.

 

I still look forward to camping, I've seen some things that have put me off a little mostly an aerial view of just how crowded it does get.. but it'll be okay, and we'll have lots of fun I'm still looking forward to it. I'm more just upset I feel myself falling into the abyss when I really shouldn't be doing that now. Like why now? Why couldn't it just wait a couple more weeks?

After pool yesterday I should have gone out with one of the boys. He just wanted to have fun and some had to work and I just wanted to go home. So I guess it feels like I let him down. But our captain was also down as he didn't win a frame and took it to heart. So I guess I was surrounded with negative vibes a little and it worked into me too.

I just tried to stay positive. I won 1/2, I was annoyed in my first game I usually just pot out. Give me a 15% success rate at a shot and I'll take those odds and I didn't let myself do that because I thought I needed to a safer, smarter pool and seeing as safety is not my strong point in pool, I didn't get the leaves and I got beat.

So in the 2nd game I said to myself fuck that, do you what you do best, Jocelyn. Sink them. And so I did. Now the girl I beat is apparently some up and coming star and I'm a bit miffed at that because I've never lost to her and her captain fills his team with young females and coerces them to play. We really believe he's a predator in a way but he writes a magazine and of course, fills it with his teams talent. So when I continually beat her and read how she'll be a star one day, I'm kinda like ehh? So to absolutely destroy her yesterday was just icing for me, I did what I do best, I potted out I don't even think she sunk a ball and sat on the side with a shitty look on her face while she watched me run that table.

Then some spectators said I played with a lot of confidence. So I was on a roll and I never got to play the 3rd match because we'd already lost, so that disappointed me too.

I guess it just rolled on from there, just too much negativity even if it wasn't intended, it definitely takes hold of my soul and drags it down.

 

It's not raining because all the water on earth is gone. Now you can't do your laundry at all! But good news: you also don't need to dry it!

I can't wait to get a pizza with my new polar bear friend! I wish my bear friend could endure tropical temperatures to make our dreams of gustatory adventures come true! It was either that or wish for a chainsaw, because die or not, having that special moment of seeing a bear wield a chainsaw makes your life magical and complete. And that's how I wanna die!

 

Did you find some acid or something?

 

OMG Fuck this day!

Fuck it until it cries for you to stop and then fuck it some more!!

 

Noooo, why?

 

I've had a good day other than the headache but I really expect to have one from now until the wedding.

We went to pick up hubby's suit from the alterations shop and we dropped off a pair of my daughter in law's jeans for a zipper replacement.

Next we went to Goodwill because the triplets have a presentation coming up for school in which they talk about the future career they want. One of them wants to be a Veterinarian, one a Marine Biolgist, and one a Zoo Keeper. Their mother can borrow some child size lab coats for the first two, but the 3rd one needed an outfit. I found her some khaki shorts, a khaki shirt, and a Boonie hat. They were perfect and she loved them.

Hubby also found the perfect pair of shoes there, for $6.99. They sell for $60 new. We got him a tie while we were there.

We went to Walmart and got some cat food and litter.

When we got home, I found out that his check had hit the bank so I was able to order his suspenders, my son's dress shirt, a dressing robe to gift my daughter with for her wedding pics, and a tie dyed t-shirt for me to wear to her Rainbow (Pride) themed Bachelorette Party which is coming up on Saturday night.

We went grocery shopping also.

Getting shit done!

 

I'm just being a drama queen.

I'm behind on stuff I need to be doing because I'm having to do other people's jobs...I'm getting bitched at by my boss, my coworkers and my clients because as someone in a position of "authority" it's still my fault that other people aren't doing their jobs, and of course I can't say, "not my fault." Middle management sucks.

Now I have to work late, come in on my day off, and tonight my GF volunteers at an all-night clinic for lower-income people, so I can't even bitch to her about my day tonight.

On the plus side, I have a bottle of wine waiting for me when I do get out of here.

Total first-world bullshit problems, but still, I'm emotional.

 

Packing up now getting ready for camping. ☺️ Saturday morning we leave. Just got to get a few bits and pieces in the morning and done. I will start loading the truck tomorrow evening.

Missus is being all "ohhh we need this and that and this and that and this and that and clothes, we need clothes!"

I'm just going with a few pairs of jeans and flannel shirts. =p

 

Hope you have fun irm !

I should be packing too, my friend rented a cabin for her bachelorette party for the weekend but ill prob just throw something in a bag 5 minutes before walkng out the door lol

 

I'm anxious. =p

On the bright side I totally missed the solstice... But the after party weeks are meant to be good too. We are going on the 3rd week. I originally thought we were going early I messed up BIG time. Totally upset with myself too I should know my dates better.

Yes I'm all about last minute throw clothes in a bag lol. Which will be what will happen. Just gotta remember socks and underwear. :d

 

Enjoy your time away, Irmi.


When will you be back?