Whats all this jazz about ego loss really about...

I'm beginning to wonder whether or not I'm capable of losing my ego. I've tried lsd (only had the chance once and it was kinda weak), dxm,and salvia and have used mushrooms upwards of 10 times and never really lost my sense of self. I've even eaten a whole quarter of 'shrooms and although I couldn't form words or tie a shoe I still knew who I was, where I was, and had a vague idea of what was happening around me. I have really examined what it means to exist and what it means to "be me" during some of my trips, but I've never had anything close to what you have described. I'm going to be tripping on some mushrooms this weekend, so maybe if I redefine what I truly want to gain from it I'll be blessed with the experience.

 

losing your ego does not mean you don't know who you are or where you are

even in the indescribably confusing galaxies of a ketamine hole, I can still pull myself to myself and say "I'm me, and i'm high on ketamine"

so it's not a loss of knowledge

its a loss of ego, which is just the illusion of seperateness from the rest of existence and the loss of trivial mind diseases like denial and depression

when in doubt, double the dose

 

I have only got the ego loss from DMT. Not acid.
Shrooms have came close but not quite like deemster.

 

Dangerous advice my friend. Do not double your dose when in doubt, you could end up on the news. Or worse you could die and get a compound scheduled.

 

i'm assuming we're discussing virtually non-toxic molecules like lsd, psilocyin, and ketamine.

 

I'm not sure that doubling dosage is an effective means of achieving ego loss. My most profound ego loss experience was on an extremely low dose (.5g or so) of mushrooms. Achieving ego loss requires an attitude change, not a dosage change. Many people (including myself) can achieve ego loss while sober through meditation, you don't NEED chemicals, nor do chemicals necessarily make it easier. In some people, psychadelics WILL make ego loss alot easier. But don't think that doubling your dose is going to turn someone into a person who is aided in ego loss by psychadelics.

 

I think that in most if not all people, psychedelics are the easiest way to experience ego loss. And you are absolutely right, it's mostly within the person and their attitudes and beliefs, however since the person has never experienced ego loss to begin with and doesn't understand how maleable those things are within themselves, the easiest way to precipitate the ego-less state is to simply increase that other variable, psychedelic power.

But once they get it even once it's usually trivial to get it again, through meditation, very low doses of psychedelics, and even things like marijuana and mdma.

 

While it's definitely true that psychadelic power as you put it can "brute force" ego loss (it happened to me the first time I lost my ego), I simply don't think telling people to double their dosage is really healthy advice. Acid is dangerous shit to an unprepared mind. It's one thing to come out of a trip and have people think you're crazy because you see yourself in them, it's another thing when people can't cope with what they experience during a drug trip and "lose themselves". I've seen it happen (to many of my friends), it's not pretty.

 

I guess I just resist such fear and approach it with an attitude of 'que sera, sera'. I believe that acid brings out who you really are deep down, so whether you become enlightened, or whether you go crazy, you are just being fully realized.

remember those people who 'lose it' on acid have already 'lost it' at some level already deep in their minds, so i really don't feel any guilt or hesitation there.

but i of course understand where the unwillingness to dive right in comes from, who wants to go crazy?

 

I think acid has the POTENTIAL to bring out who you really are deep down. I also think that everyone is 'enlightened' deep down, however some people take these drugs and do not become enlightened, instead they seem to be more miserable than before. I think that while acid will show you what exists "deep down", it's the user's choice (if there is such a thing as choice, call it pre-conditioning if you will), whether this turns them into buddhas or madmen.

At any rate, acid doesn't enlighten people. People enlighten themselves, acid can be a great tool along the way but in the end it's just that, a tool. One that can easily be mis-used.

 

thats called a panic attack

 

what if..

the ego is not something that is just 'there' normally, which we 'kill' with the drug.

what if, the ego is a way of looking at the world, a way of framing your objectives, your social presence, your identity/appearance, your plans, your general considerations, your desires, etc.

instead of the ego 'being there' by default, and us being ridden of it by the drug, it could more accurately be described such that: aspects of the ego are constantly constructed and activated throughout waking life. when on lsd, these constructs are no longer discrete relationships which could be used to structure plans of thought. rather, on lsd, the 'ego drive' trips out, and eventually is so tripping that it cannot piece together any substantial brain states required to facilitate an ego.

thus, the ego stops coming into being... and on the way there, at other stages of trip, the ego is fragmentary.. it often can get caught up in something if the person is not wary, and then fizzle when a wave of trip comes along, leaving the person confused and not knowing what the hell they were doing.

other times, the ego can form even stronger than usual (abeit fleeting as all psychedelic apparitions) and in strange ways, where people start to go a little crazy (Or perhaps just bizarre)

 

That's sort of how i think about it. You have a set personality which you become comfortable with when you're not on drugs. The drugs make you question everything about your personality, or remove parts of it temporarily. This is why LSD and similar can be so life changing, you literally can come out with a different personality. Or at least a new perspective on your own personality.

These drugs can make a person very unstable, questioning everything and reforming themselves, which is probably why it leads some people into madness. But it can also be used in a positive way, sort of like a snake shedding its old skin to grow into a bigger, new one. It's all about self-control and knowing what you want to get out of the experience.