What stops you from trying sex with another man?

Suburbanray, that's a whole different discussion. The cost of not doing it can be very damned high. Suppression has insidious, long-term damaging effects; it can actually change one's personality subtlety or, yeah, not so much and as I've seen. I've seen guys and gals who were chill and all that turn into "raving lunatics" because they have a sexual need that being in a relationship cannot and will not ever take care of. It had occurred to me quite some time ago that one of the reasons why women live longer than men is that men... can't be celibate and the effects on mind and body helps to put us in the grave faster while women who nature ultimately makes celibate... are okay not having to spread their legs anymore.

I know men - more than women - who have decided that if they don't do this, they're really going to lose themselves and they have a good idea of how this isn't going to be good for himself or anyone else so... hopefully, what she doesn't know won't draw that infamous scorn that women are known for. This part of the rabbit hole goes way deeper and writing about it... takes a lot of time. Us guys grow up dealing with women who like to ask, "What about me, how I feel, what I need..." all that stuff but as men, we are not allowed to ask those questions... and we should and some of us have, only to have her ask, "What about you?" or say, "This ain't about you - it's all about me!" and... I think I'm going to call "Stephan" and see if he wants his dick sucked because I can't deal with this relationship insanity, not at the cost of my own sanity.

 

For most of my life (until recently), I have deeply to my core wanted marriage with a woman and children. But I failed to achieve it, and it brought me lifelong clinical depression and countless thousands of hours of suicidal thoughts, thinking I have been an utter failure as a man, let alone as a human being. For unknown reasons I was just rejected by girls and women time and time again, until 5 years ago when I decided I had enough with women, without any intention to ever have sex let alone romance with them, despite still having sexual attraction to them. But hearing from friends and relatives and reading online the countless horror stories of men's experiences in marriage, including, from the get-go, the neverending sexual manipulation by women, that eventually became dishing out sex rarely, and finally never at all (as if sex was a commodity instead of an intimacy to enjoy together)--part of me believes I dodged a bullet. That is even before bringing in the issue of bisexuality, like all of you guys in this forum are writing about constantly.

The bisexual effect for me was with every rejection by a woman, I would immediately allow myself to feel those buried same sex desires, and then act on them. The simplicity for me was that I was never in a relationship with a woman to complicate matters, allowing me to freely suck cock and eventually fuck ass, and to experience and enjoy the gay side of myself.

But this "good fortune" to be single all my life to allow me to have sex with both men mostly and a few women is an extreme rarity. So I've come to deeply sympathize with you married men in your low sex or sexless marriages, needing to fulfil your ever-growing and eventually extremely powerful desires for cock or male ass, while feeling in conflict with your marriage vows of fidelity, and hurting your wife and family and reputation, and risking losing your family and mostly enjoyable way of life. I am so very sorry you have such burdens and suffering, and surely wish for you to be free of them, somehow. I can truly appreciate how deep the conflict must be with so very few of you taking the @thepapasmurf route of divorce and the effects that can bring. I am happy for you that you took that route, Papa Smurf, but of course I'm sorry for the negative effects it brought as well. I hope the family part of your life comes back to you and accepts and loves you again and your new "lifestyle"--your way of being you.

What a nightmare you married bisexual men all must live. I'm sure my lifelong loneliness and unfulfilled family wishes pales in comparison to your suffering. I have no idea what I would do if I ever had been able to fulfil this powerful wish for marriage and children, to eventually find myself in the situation of needing to live my bisexuality. I'm sure, at 62, I would be in that same situation of having a sexless marriage, with uncontrollable sexual desires for guys. In fact, given how strong the gay side of myself has always been, I'm sure I would've felt these conflicts much earlier in my marriage. And now, even before losing desire to have sex with a woman again, I knew that I could never again be in a long-term relationship with a woman, because I can't stop having sex with men. I love it and need it way too much.

 

You still only live one life albeit one with dual attractions, desires, needs, all that good stuff that's supposed to make life worth living. @RisingBi, it's not that much of a nightmare for all of us and not all of us suffer. What doesn't help married bisexuals are the rules of being married. "Keeping only unto yourselves" is a killer for those who find that the... call to the other side of the fence is too strong and powerful to ignore and ignore without consequences to self. How do you - how can you - express your sexuality in a relationship state that doesn't allow for much of anything?

You're either going to do something about it or you're going to do nothing. The worst of that nightmare you mention comes when a man decides to do nothing, that sacrificing himself for the sake of an institution that demands that you only be heterosexual and remain faithful to a partner and no matter what price you have to pay to do this. You get caught between that rock and hard place because you love her - or you love him - but that... pull is strong and trying to ignore it or otherwise pretend it's not real is just you lying to yourself about what you really feel and why but monogamy doesn't allow you to think or feel anything about anyone other than your partner.

You're either going to do something about it or you aren't. If you leave one "life" for another, then you've done something; if you decide to "greedy" and bask in the "best of both worlds," then you've done something. If you've decided that living as a homosexual is what works for you - and still in a society that sees homosexuals as humanity's most dire enemy - then you've done something. The worst comes - the nightmare comes - when you choose to do nothing. It's really one of the many decisions we make in our lives that might be a good one or falls into that "what the fuck did I do" or "why didn't I do (add something you know you should have done but didn't)?" and you manage to recover from them and move forward as best you can.
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Because the worst part of the nightmare is... regret. Would you prefer to regret having done something about your given situation or would you prefer to regret not having done anything about it and at the risk and sacrifice of self to that institution that doesn't give a flying fuck about you as a man? They say that you can't have your cake and eat it, too... and it's a lie and one that was taken out of context somewhere in our past; it's just that if you want to have that cake and eat it, too, don't let your partner find out. And if this is what you do, then you've done something rather than to do what a great many men do:

Nothing. Choose. Or not. I am a bisexual. I am only living one life despite my dual sexual/romantic attractions. Still, I am my own person despite being married because I believe in Rule Number One: Take care of you own ass first. Rule Number Two is to never forget Rule Number One. You do what's best for you... or else.

It only becomes a nightmare when you allow it to become one and our society makes that happen when you fully believe in what our society says about love, sex, relationships, and sexuality.