What Opioids Are YOU On RIGHT NOW ?? (Part VII)

I meant 10 times worst!

 

Well here I am, it's 2:33 in the am and I'm still up fighting these heroin demons! I think I waited long enough... The withdrawals were killing me! I've got a dealers habit! I do up to 30 bags a day of heroin...it's not easy to kick this habit! Well I just took a small piece of an 8mg sub/N8... So far no withdrawals! It's been we'll over 12 hrs since I did my last couple of bags! Now I just hope I can sleep!

 

It's 4am and I am going through the shakes! Just threw up and pissed out my ass... I thought suboxones were supposed to avoid that?

 

I couldn't take it anymore, at 5:25 I went in my stash and got 2 bundles. I quickly did 2 bags and my insides just came up... Fuck, that was the most pain fullest shit I've ever experienced!!! I did 10 bags and took a nap...finally! Now I'm up and I feel a little better! Not 100% though! U live and u learn, right?

 

Biglou... wtf man. get help or go away.

 

NARKAUGTIX-- That is exactly what I'm trying to do! You think I joined this forum looking for pen pals? Hell fucking NO! I had a terrible experience yesterday, I honestly thought that I can kick the habit.... But the habit kicked me!!!

 

I got hooked on heroin while I was serving my 20 years in the state penitentiary, I started towards the last 5 years, and I've been home now since 2004... So from 1999 til now I have not taken a break from the H.... I know I need help! But I can't just go to my wife or anyone in my family for that matter, cause they don't know about my habit! Yes, I'm sure they've had their suspicions, but I've always denied it! And since I always have it, it's easier to hide cause they've never seen me go through withdrawals... Last night I stayed in my basement so that no one would see, or hear me!

 

You do 30 bags of heroin/day and your wife doesn't know? You're a shifty troll.

 

Damn, first I'd like to say that I feel I was harsh with my initial reaction to your posts. Just seemed you were either writing it for fun, trying to get attention, or just plain stupid. The fact that you didn't try to retaliate like most people would says alot about you and your character. I am sorry for the situation you are in. Since you notice how ill your life is, why can't you do something as horrible as telling the truth?

 

I stand to lose too much if I admit my habit! So for all these years the only people who know my business are those in the same circle as myself! That's why I want to quit, or even slow down some! I can't keep doing this... Sooner or later I will get caught!

 

I was thinking about a meth program, but going to the program will put me on front street! So I'm a little skeptical about it! I honestly thought that I could do it myself with the suboxones, but I now see that's no easy task! I dug a deep hole for myself...now I'm just looking to crawl out!

 

Do you not have the will power to do one bag less for a week and two bags less the second week? 29,28,27.... What about for your wife. How about to maintain living?

 

Give the time for subs to work! One day of withdrawal until the subs start working wont kill you. I know its shitty but subs are a life saver if you give them the time needed.

 

And don't attempt to chip with subs or methadone. It will only increase your tolerance in the long run and not get you off the shit! Use subs or methadone if you actually want to get clean. Or else your better off just staying on the heroin. People go do methadone and then have to use 2x the amount. Not financially intelligent.

 

That's good advice... I'm gonna give it another shot. This time I'll do it the right way! I have been cutting back, there are days I do 30, then there are days I may only do 20! But I definitely need to do more than 10 just to avoid getting sick! That sucks!

 

Everyone tells me that the subs do work, I guess I just been doing it wrong! And boy did I pay the price! Lesson definitely learned! I've tried substituting with oxys, but I still end up blowing bags.... Unnecessarily! I stumbled upon this site when I did a search for the subs, and after reading some of the posts that you guys posted I decided that this was the place for me! I've seen a lot of good advice on here! So hopefully with your experience coupled with a few others, I can get my shit together!

 

I'm gonna have to tough it out for at least 24 hours of no H, and wait til I'm going through some serious withdrawals before I ever take another sub... Twice already I had a bad experience with the subs...the first time I waited 12 hours, but I had did a lot of H, the second time I only did 6 bags and waited 13 hours, basically until I started feeling sick and then I took the sub... I felt it starting to work so I took a second piece, and that's when all hell broke loose! So obviously I didn't know what the heck I was doing! Ima wait a couple of days and I'm gonna give it another shot! Hopefully I'll do it right that time! I thank you guys for the solid advice. I appreciate the help... For I need all the help I can get!!!

 

Go to a treatment centre...

 

Nah, I can't do a treatment center! I'm gonna give the subs another shot! I really want to slow down. I'm not gonna sit here and lie to you, or myself and say that I want to quit, cause I don't! But I do want to take a break for a while! I gotta get a lot of things back in order, as I've neglected a lot because of this perpetual binge! I am so glad that I don't buy retail... I really would've been fucked! There is no way I would've been able to afford my current habit. I get enough on credit to cover my expenses and my habit. I remember when a bag lasted me the whole day... Man do I miss those days! Now I wake up in the morning and the first thing I do is 5 bags just to get the edge off! Outside of my family, I am not in denial....I am a junkie in desperate need of help!

 

Whats your ROA for all them bags?