What mental issue do you think you have?

I once dreamed I would be a firefighter, a first responder a saver of lives. I wanted to be a hero. Id climb up and down the ladder on my bed, I would wear my fire hat all the time to play..
I would write santa please bring me a fire engine and then he would. I was so happy..

I was so excited to be a firefighter my mom didnt know what to do with me, always talking about fires and fighting them. I would fight them in my sleep.
Mommy did you check the smoke alarm?... Not now Im busy watching my soaps!!!
Mommy took me to the doctor one day and I sat down and said I loved firefighters.. This doctor told me this was dangrous and that people firefighters died all the time.. I was scared, but brave I could fight fires.. The doctor told me that I should play ball and that I was distracted in school cause I wanted to be a firefighter..
The doctor gave my mommy these pills to give me before bed time.
They made me very tired and I didnt bother to dream about firefighting cause I was dizzy and just listening to what others would say and have me do.
The kids in school found out the doctor gave me pills and asked me for them. I didnt like them anyways cause I wanted to be a firefighter..
One day I got caught selling my pills and they set me to the principals office and the police came and they arrested me. I told them I wanted to be a firefighter but they didnt care..
I wasnt allowed to sell my pills but I didnt know this cause they didnt teach me not to, on the other hand I saw on tv where its cool to sell meth..
When I got to jail for kids they made me take another pill and another.. I dont know if this is dream or Im in a nightmare..

I just wanted to be a firefighter, How come nobody listened to my dreams.. Can someone wake me up , I want to go home now..

 

I have an issue which I can't really diagnose but I can't bring myself to really care about people. It's a fear of abandonment,I guess, but it really has affected me throughout my life. I'm almost 21 and never had a boyfriend, or any kind of real romantic relationship with a guy. I have people who I consider friends but even them, I know for sure I could never see any of them ever again and it wouldn't even phase me too much. Sort of the same thing with my family even, with the exception of my mother, who I honestly do love

But I mean, it's weird because I am extremely social. Like I can go into any situation and make friends. I feel weird because people have told me that I am one of the most loyal/genuine people they ever met, and it's not really that true. I am loyal, but I don't care too much for anyone in particular

It's just weird. sort of the "I'm always alone in a crowded room" type things, and I hope I can get it over one day and really fall in love and start a family and stuff like that

 

^ woot me too, although out of shyness moreso than not caring, although people do tend to make me wonder how we as a species have retained our capability for advanced reasoning.

 

I do not see very much evidence that your thought process is fragmented. Perhaps it comes out when you are not with people you're comfortable with.... that being around them socially is distracting to the degree that it continually breaks your train of thought and constrains your considerable ability to engage in lengthy debates.

In your case I think the term "diminished ability" might be replaced by "reluctance" and what I've seen here (forums) from you suggests that you're too firmly rooted in reality.

 

well im not a doctor. But I know I have an anxiety disorder. can totally tell when Im in a room full of ppl I dont knw even sometimes when its ppl I know I get quiet, nervous, play with my fingers alot.

and

ADHD. I never believed myself but now when I look at it there was plenty of times as a kid where I jus couldnt stay on the right topic. kinda funny how I never got help for it tho. It seemed like only the lazy kids who didnt want to do theyr work had ADD or ADHD.

 

they totally are pill pushers. I know people who are on many prescription pills like Dexedrine. Yet they have no mental issues. they just like to get fucked up legally and cheap.

 

Actually you just described Cognitive Behavioural Therapy pretty well. CBT is the best non-medicinal treatment for personal issues, and all it is is a dialogue that seeks to generate insight and awareness.

 

Funny I have the same problem from a different angle. I'm a very trusting and caring person at my core, but this has caused me a lot of pain through the years, and I've developed a kind of avoidance to getting close with people, which is tied in with my social anxiety, so its suuuuuper hard for me to go from meeting someone to being their friend/whatever. I mean the stars have to be aligned for real, we have to hit it off like crazy and i need to be having a good day and etc etc . . . it really sucks, I hate how easy it is for most people to connect. My initial reaction to meeting someone new is almost invariably a kind of subtle panic. It leads me to avoid social situations and i haaaaaaate it because i'm not anti-social, i'm just not easily at ease with people unless i really give it a conscious effort. I have the overwhelming impression that somehow I don't fit in, which has also been a social fact of my youth.

"too many mind"

everyone says i am loyal and genuine as well, but its hard for me to feel comfortable to volunteer those qualities of myself to someone.

so you are an uncaring person who manifests as a caring person, and i am a caring person who manifests as an uncaring person. let's trade for a week and see what we think. :lurk5:

 

I am caring though. I just care more at a distance I guess. Maybe not-attached-to-anyone was the term I was going for.

Like...... if I see someone suffering, I almost can't handle it. Which is why I literally avoid hospitals like the plague. And I constantly will give homeless people food. Or pretty much do anything for anyone if I'm capable of it and I think they deserve it.

I guess my issue is from being shit on in the past as well. Like there have been a few times where I really, really let myself care about people, and have been walked all over / let down / made feel like an idiot.

Oh well, life goes on. Yo greg, I wrote you like three messages last night, and every time I went to send them, my internet connection would stop working. So gaaaaaay

 

wow that is pretty lame you must have been pissed off in the wee hours on attempt #3 hahaha <3

it sucks when you care for someone who does not take your care seriously and makes you regret ever extending anything for anyone. it's hard to let go of those burns, the fear of it happening again . . . no one wants to be open and vulnerable and genuine and have it thrown in their face and treated like garbage.

people can really suck . . . but can't get too timid about opening up or you'll just be alone forever. i'm so tired of being this way, of not having someone in my life who knows me deeply and who i know deeply and can just be totally naked with in every sense.

 

i don't have any problems. i was born perfect, been that way ever since

 

naked

I'm writing you back now. I think my stolen internet connection is going to treat me well for atleast an hour

 

^^^ Excessive humility syndrome?^^^

 

I was diagnosed with dyspraxia when I was a young teen, I never noticed any difficultys with anything except for my handwriting, I was never supposed to amount to anything but now I'm top of my class in engineering, I do a lot of art too. I mightn't act like the average person but i'm really happy about that. In fact I don't even believe in these diagnoses' anymore, I think "normal" people just like to slap a label on people who act a little different.

 

whichever one you get from too much acid

 

I hope so . . . write it in a text document first in case it's being gay

 

dude.. i feel you here.

i've been doing this over and over and over and over and over and OVER and getting similar outcomes. this just happened to me within the past few weeks and my pain is still really raw..
but..
i still express my feelings and remain open, trusting, loving, giving and hopefully someday this will turn out for the best. haha i guess i'm becoming stronger for it, that's something. but it'd be really cool to open my heart to someone and feel theirs open to me also.

 

oh i know all about it
i use DBT also.

 

does i need a pill for that??

 

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