what did i get myself into?

sorry, couldn't help #20

but yeah, seriously bro, what are the main things that are bothering you, in what order. Some of things may be more fixable than others.



boredom

no sex

emotional dependency

flips out on you

talks too long on the phone

only watches what she wants


The flipping out would be hard to change. I think that that is connected with the bi-polar, mood swings.

The emotional dependency. Also hard to change. Could be a big problem down the road. Not a good position to be in if you are stuck with her and you think you have to stay to keep her from committing suicide or something. You may want to get a book on co-dependency, and bi-polar so you know what you are up against. It's a lot of work, but probably really worth if you are going to stay with this girl. You may want to tell her that one of the things you are worried about is that she is so crazy for you that she wouldn't be able to deal if you broke up. If she ever gets "I'm gonna kill myself" nutty, you need to call in the big guns, therapists, professional help. Can't try to handle this on your own.

here is something
http://www.hipforums.com/newforums/showthread.php?t=408548&f=383

I think that there is a teen suicide hotline somewhere. With bi-polar, good chance that she will talk about or think about doing this sometime down the road.

The other stuff seems like it's fixable. As far as the no sex thing goes, part of it is that a lot of girls about that age (16?) aren't ready for it/ don't want it. There's some that are, and some that aren't. One thing to do is just to deal with it. Lots of guys have had zero action at that age and survived.

You could have a talk with her about it, maybe tell her that you're sexually frustrated and would like to see if you could work out something that you both could live with. She may given you the two hj's just because she thought that if she didn't, you wouldn't like her. Or maybe she thinks you're happy with the situation because you haven't complained. If you try to force her into doing it, she will probably get resentful, I don't recommend it. Maybe she could go for phone sex? (side note: that whole low sperm count and brain tumor thing with cell phones might be true)

Talks too long on the phone, maybe say something about this. If you say nothing, she'll just keep going. Tell her it's a problem, and maybe she can just anticipate that you will tell her that you're getting tired. Maybe keep it to 1/2 hr max?

Only watches shows she wants. Gotta stand up and tell her about this one too. If you complain, she should let you pick shows that you like for a while, or at least shows that you both like.

hope this all works out


you may also want to take this to the relationship forum

 

you could have helped it, you deliberately misquoted me. you could easily have rewritten your own version of such a conversation, rather than putting words in my mouth. defacing my contributions to this forum.
i do not usually dole out neg rep, in fact this is the only neg rep ive given, but you deliberately misquoted me.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7CpbwvmXSNA

 

Hey there Mother's Love,

Yes, I deliberately misquoted you! This is because I thought it was really funny! Making it look like you said this in your original post seemed really funny to me. I think anyone reading the thread would realize it was not your original quote. If not I'll make it clear now

ATTENTION THREAD READERS: MOTHER'S LOVE DID NOT RECOMMEND THAT THE OP COMPLAIN TO HIS GF'S PARENTS ABOUT ONLY GETTING TWO HANDJOBS, WHICH IS BULLSHIT. THAT IS ALL. PLEASE RETURN TO READING THE THREAD. THANK YOU

I think that you were genuinely trying to help the op, and I think that is a good and admirable thing. I don't think it defaced your contributions. After that post, I gave a serious post also trying to help the op.

But no, I really can't help it!!!!! I gotta be me and I gotta be free!!!! I really don't want to hurt anybody though, so I will put limitations on myself if I think someone is going to get hurt.

It seems like you are a sensitive person, Mother's Love, and overall, I think that's a good thing!

I guess I don't mind getting the negative rep.

Here, I'll even give you positive rep, just to confuse you(and also to make you feel better )!

I've never given out a negative rep, and don't plan to (maybe it's good to do that sometimes though?)

In any case, I love you and I hope that you feel better now.

I love you sister!!!!!!!!!!!
eace: <3!!!!

 

quoting, pos rep and neg rep all have their place. in "real life" to misquote someone requires a retraction, otherwise is can be considered slander (or libel? i dont remember) against the character of the person who was misquoted. look what happened to Shirley Sherrod, and she wasnt even misquoted, just taken out of context.
the internet is not a separate reality, it is an extension of our current, modern reality. real world rules should still apply.

 

lawl at the analyzing

dude.. she's 16ish, right? chick might have some issues as most kids do but she's YOUNG and you're YOUNG and this shite happens. just be real, man up and say something like "you're awesome, i have fun with you, but _______________ is what i need right now." if you don't feel like your relationship is balanced, maybe word it that way. she said you deserve better - maybe you can tell her that, too. if you both aren't the best thing for each other then someone needs to step up and admit it if either one of you expect to find happiness - solo OR w/another person.

just be true to yourself man.

 

Men want girls to suck a dick, play with balls, and make a sandwich.

OK?

ill work for a nice paycheck.

 

haha i was reading this all inspired to do it then i remembered she told me today that if she fucked this up she'd kill herself... like what do i do about that she was serious i don't know what to do...

 

Feed her more drogas? I'm sure some Prozac couldn't hurt

 

Well then you had best marry her and then you can instead go quietly insane or kill yourself.

Seriously, you need to find a help line and get the number. Give that to her along with a suicide prevention line number. Notify anyone who can help her, be that a school councilor, her parents or a friend she trusts of what she is threatening and then you need to walk away.

 

tell her that you thought about what she said, and that its not healthy. tell her she needs think about why she said that, because it is manipulative, and that is unacceptable.
if you are put in a situation where your only real option is to break it off, the tell her parents. obviously she needs meds, and if shes on meds they are not working and need to be changed.

 

if she's talking about killing herself if things don't work out, you need to bring in the pros. This is something that you can't handle on your own.

 

hmm help her find support she needs and let her know you're not abandoning her and that it's nothing she messed up. seriously

 

youre 16 ...just find a new one ...enjoy the fresh variety while you can because they quickly get stale and used up.....and the bitching just gets worse

 

this is the number for Samarateens of Boston800 252 8336
the web site is http://www.samaritansofboston.org/

Try calling them and get their advice. You may want to talk to both her parents and yours about what's going on (assuming that they are not totally evil psycho or totally "I don't give a shit" type of parents). If she is talking about killing herself if things don't work out, the time to deal with the issue is now, not when she's in crisis mode.

Good luck

 

yooo end it dude. come on man, you have your whole life to be married. be single while you can. it doesnt sound like your gonna get married or anything, so why bother?