What defines a "pedophile" to you?

Who the fuck is big A????

?????????

?????

 

What exactly are you smoking and on which planet?

 

This is a bizarre topic with many layers, and I think we approach the issue from the wrong direction. To me, the age 18 seems arbitrary. Why are you an adult at 18 but not 17 or 16? Most women are at sexual maturity by 16. Do you reach emotional maturity on your 18th birthday? Probably not.

Obviously, being attracted to children is something most people don't choose. It's just the way that they are, and as long as they don't act on their urges (I'm talking true pedophiles who are attracted to sexually immature children, not well endowed 16 year olds who aren't afraid to flaunt it), I don't think they should be penalized. I imagine that it is really difficult going through life knowing that you are a pedophile and that society looks at you with disgust. The thought of you turns stomachs and gives parents nightmares. Most people don't want that for themselves.

So, we should stop making people who are attracted to children hide in shame. They should feel more free to talk about their feelings with professionals, so they can learn to cope with their desires before they become more than just desires.

 

Words absolutely fail me with some of the comments I've seen around in recent days.

Example, re "witch-hunt" comments

1)Old women who dress in black and fly round on broomsticks - I CONSIDER THEM TO BE UNREAL.

2)Individuals who lust after, abuse or "seduce" children who are still playing with dolls and lego - I CONSIDER THEM TO BE REAL. AND SICK BEYOND WORDS.

So any suggestion that paedophiles are the subject of "witch hunts" is pretty disturbing.

And something that really sickens me, and I'm not referring to anything in particular, is those who try and "intellectualise" or defend depraved notions.
Anyone who is attracted to children should turn themselves in for treatment. Not boast about it, or defend it.

Some countries might draw different lines to others. Using Britain's 16 yrs age of consent as an eg, there's really no need for a 16 year old, let alone 20, 30 or 40 yr old to demand the so called "right" to do things with 15 yr old.

 

Oh no, of course not. The kids will surely understand the poor degenerates.

And as for "not acting on their urges": There. Is. No. Such. Thing.

Could you maybe that at your place?

Thank you.

 

Are you defining pedophile as someone who actively molests children or watches child pornography? I'm defining it as someone who is simply attracted immature children--as in, they find themselves thinking that a child is sexually appealing. That doesn't mean that they actually pursue the fantasies or urges.

 

I wonder if YouFreeMe would feel the same way if she had kids.
I am sorry but there is no justification to being attracted to little children, and yes, those people should hide in shame.

 

This is a sensitive issue, for sure. I don't have children, but I work with them. Several years ago, a staff member at my organization took advantage of a non-verbal child with disabilities. I couldn't believe it. I think if that person had gotten help many years ago, they wouldn't have acted the way that they did.

P.S. I'm not saying that acting on urges is ok. It isn't. Ever. Ok. I'm just advocating for mental health services for those who realize that they are pedophiles, and feel helpless in stopping the thoughts.

 

Would you be friends with someone who you know is a pedophile/attraced to little kids, but is going to therapy?
I know I wouldn't, no matter how much help they got.

 

How do you think child pornography is made?

Does it have "No Children Were Harmed In The Making Of This Movie" at the end?

This condition is NOT treatable. Period.

 

Interesting question. I don't really know. If they were a decent person otherwise, and realized that they wanted to get better and were trying their best, I probably would be their friend. I don't eschew any other mental disorders from my "friend list."

On the same note, we all could have friends who are attracted to children, but we just don't know it. It's hard to say, since most people aren't open about being attracted to kids. Maybe your best friend struggles with it.

Imagine all of the priests who are pedophiles. I don't understand that connection. Do you think they really are Catholic, and love God? Can you be truly religious and a pedophile? I think so. But, I don't think a really deeply religious person would act upon their thoughts.

 

In most cases, those who act on it, and end up doing time for it, and get professional help, do it again when they get out. Maybe not immediately, but in most cases they do repeat the evil, they go back to their old ways.
That's a story then repeats itself on and on and on and on.
It's a story that I am sick of seeing in news again and again.
They explain it as an urge, it's truly evil, they can barely help it.
In my opinion, certain things really are pure evil, and that's not relative at all.
You can't treat attraction to little kids the same way you treat anxiety or depression.
Anxiety and depression aren't a direct threat to other people, this is. It is potentially harmful to other people by definition.

 

We'll have to agree to disagree. A quick literature review reveals several treatment options and success stories.

I also think that we are speaking about different things. I'm not saying that people who manufacture child porn shouldn't be punished or penalized. I just want to make that very clear.

I also wonder why this condition seems to affect many more men than women (10:1). What is up with that?

 

Nobody normal would of course favor a pedophile friend. But this avoidance and stigmatisation comes from emotional instincts (which are very valid of course). When I think rationally and as objective as possible a man that happens to be a pedo and tries not to act upon that disgusting urge deserves a place in society. But I definitely admit I am talking from a theoretical/hypothetical point of view here and would probably not be happy to have a known pedo as a friend or neighbour (to put it mildly)..

 

I find people attracted to prepubescent kids repugnant like everyone else. Words like shame, and blame, and thinking they "deserve punishment" is evidence of bad logic however. They absolutely did not decide to be that way and whatever genetic and environmental circumstances lead to the condition are only unfortunate and in need of attention.

It's a really really difficult problem and science will surely continue to enlighten the situation. If we find that it's hereditary, sterilization may be in order as a continuing threat to our children is much worse for society than imposing extremely harsh, yet pragmatic sanctions.

 

Nice, it didn't take you long to mention Catholic priests. I figured someone would sooner or later...Funny though, when a few months ago that famous rock musician was arrested for paedophilia, no one here made a fuss about it. But okay.
And to answer your question, yes, maybe those priests do love God. But they are truly sick twisted people, who can't help it - and statistics mostly show that they didn't molest one or two boys, they molested a number of children, in most cases. Which just proves my point - this isn't your typical disorder that you can go to therapy for.

 

Trying to approach it from this angle. It's a tough issue to view objectively, that is for sure.

 

Women need a boner to work with if any of their sexual instincts are to be sated.

 

Also, I don't think religion (and therapy too) is enough to stop a person with such evil urges.

 

I'm not trying to make a low blow, but it seems to be a pattern and you're involved in the Catholic Church (as am/was I). So, I'd just like an opinion of someone who is validly religious. Obviously, it isn't just priests (or even mostly priests) who are pedophiles.

I'll be honest and say that I didn't hear about the famous rocker. I think priests just get more negative attention because they are supposed to be pure and holy. Do you think there is a correlation between Priesthood and Pedophilia, or do you just think that priests get more limelight?