what a does a "good wife" mean?

a reduced drive isn't really a problem for me. i'm kinda ridiculous. but on those rare occaisions when i just don't want to, it's because i've got something going on that needs to be addressed. my husband has a much as told me, if you're going to fuck because you feel like you have to to make him feel good, why fuck at all? sex is pretty sacred to me. i'm not going to mess with it, it's too important.

 

Well damn, if you're going to admit that, I guess I can.

 

his remains are going to be very sticky...

 

Dammit, call me when it goes from sticky to dry.

 

I know that equality is a sore subject for many women, now days, because in the past and still today in some marriages women have been treated like chattel. This is just wrong!

But I hate to break it to you, men and women are not equal and can not be made equal. It’s a nice idea that someone came up with but has no basis in reality.
Men and women are no more equal than apples and oranges. When was the last time you picked up an orange and took a bite out of it like you would an apple? Men and women go into relationships wanting and needing completely different things. Just the way they perceive things is totally different.

Frankly, I’m amazed that men and women even meet each other let alone establish long term relationships.

So that having been said; let’s look at marriage. A good deal of the difficulties found in marriage today comes from having an outside agenda such as equality or forced dominance and submission or just wanting your mate to be something they're not. When the only agenda you should have in a marriage is to have a good marriage.

A good marriage comes from embracing the differences. Honestly if you went in to a business partnership with someone and you knew that they were better at finances and you were better at personnel would you just for the sake of equality take over finances and have the over person do personnel? No, of course not, you wouldn’t if you wanted the business to succeed but yet that’s just what some people try to do in marriage. Then they wonder why it the marriage failed.

So to answer the question; a good wife is one who works hard at making their husband happy and their marriage a success! Which, I guess would also mean that a good husband is one who works hard at making their wife happy and their marriage a success!

 

well said OWB.

leave it to a wise man to sum it up so nicely.

 

he didn't agree with you. he said let people do their jobs that they're good at as per each marriage.

 

i said he's wise and summed up marriage nicely.

you assumed i thought he agreed with me.

i happen to agree with HIM.

except for the part about how he's amazed that men and women even meet each other. i think it's instinctual for women to go where the men are and it's instinctual for the men to notice women around them. meeting/mating is nature.

 

Here I agree with you.
I was just using hyperbole to make my point about the differences between men and women.
But I’m still amazed by it!

 

I agree. Men and women are not equal, nor is one inferior or superior to the other. Men are better at some things than women, and vice versa.
Women are the "weaker" sex in many ways, but we are stronger in many ways too.

~~~~~~~~~~

There really is no "right" way to mainatain a marriage. There is just the way that works for a specific person or couple. I may completely disagree with open marriages, but it does not mean that there are not couples that are happily living in one. It doesn't work for me, but that doesn't make it wrong.

If being at your husband or wifes beck and call, great! If being a feminist bitch turns on the partner, great! I am somewhere in the middle, and tend tp think most people are. I serve him dinner, and worship him in bed, and I sometimes explode with the wrath of "mom". What works for us is supporting each other, through the good and the bad. He is not smarter than I am, nor I him. We each have our areas of knowledge, but instead of believing it makes up better we teach one another. I have learned more from my husband than all my years in college have taught me, or will ever teach me.

 

i'm amazed also. i'm amazed by human beings in general, especially the dynamics and differences between men and women. as a woman i'm more towards to feminine side of the scale, hence my opinions about women may seem extreme.

human beings are so complex, yet so simple, yet so complex, yet so simple ....... infinity.

 

I'm getting a little off thread but I've always been a people watcher. Simple differences between men and women are fascinating, such as have you ever noticed that when holding hands that men’s hands always face backward and women’s hands always face to the front. Just try it the other way it feels so unnatural and uncomfortable that you have to change back!

 

yes i've noticed how men's hands face backward and women's hands face front. i've always wondered how men could stand it. yet it's natural. no man ever said, *ok, i'll put my hand this way, you put your hand that way* ... it's just happens.

i have tried the other way and it definately feels awkward.

 

It's almost like men and women were "designed" to fit together.

 

just like a glove. i'm pretty certain men and women were made perfectly for each other.

 

I left my first husband because of what he expected of me as a wife. I was to stay at home and care for the house and children, and he was to work. Which doesn't sound so bad in theory, but in practice it was awful for me. I mean, he took it seriously. He wouldn't change diapers, there was no, "honey take the trash out" and he was to be left alone on the weekends because he'd been working all week so that I could, "sit around the house all day" as he said. He wouldn't even watch the baby while I was in the bathroom throwing up with morning sickness from my second pregnancy. We moved, and he wouldn't put my name on the lease, in case I got "mouthy" then he'd have the option to toss me out. (fuckface apparantly had never heard of community property laws) We got into a big fight, and I ended up having to move back in with my mother because he stopped buying food for me(4 months pregnant me) and my year old son. Actually put a lock on the fridge and cupboards and told me he'd give me a key when i learned my place.

Anyway, I find myself in the same role with this marriage. Pregnant housewife with children. But you know what? I don't mind. I know if I want to get a job, I can. I know that I can say, "I just can't take it anymore" hand the children to Ron, and leave for a couple of hours. He gets up with the kids on the weekends not because I ask him to, but because he misses them during the week. I joyfully do things for my family that I would have resented with my ex-husband.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that roles need not be absolute. I change the oil in the car, but I'm also a 1950's style housewife

 

Sorry to hear about your first...well I don’t know what to call it. The person, I won’t call him a man or a husband because he wasn’t much of either, was simply unbelievable! And I can’t really call it a marriage because it’s so unlike anything I would want to call a marriage.

Well, it’s good to hear you have a real; man, husband and marriage now!

Like I've always said; There's nothing better in this world than a good marriage and there's nothing worse than a bad one!

 

Amen to that!

 

ah, gotcha. you're right.

 

IN THE SPIRIT OF PURE, SELF EFFACING HUMOR....because i know i would lose....i present: THE NEXT SURVIVOR SERIES!!

Six married men will be dropped on an island with one car and 3 kids each for six weeks.

Each kid will play two sports and either take music or dance classes.

There is no fast food.

Each man must take care of his 3 kids; keep his assigned house clean, correct all homework, complete science projects, cook, do laundry, and pay a list of 'pretend' bills with not enough money.

In addition, each man will have to budget in money for groceries each week.

Each man must remember the birthdays of all their friends and relatives, and send cards out on time.

Each man must also take each child to a doctor's appointment, a dentist appointment and a haircut appointment . He must make one unscheduled and inconvenient visit per child to the Urgent Care (weekend, evening, on a holiday or right when they're about to leave for vacation). He must also make cookies or cupcakes for a social function.

Each man will be responsible for decorating his own assigned house, planting flowers outside and keeping it presentable at all times.

The men will only have access to television when the kids are asleep and all chores are done.

Each father will be required to know all of the words to every stupid song that comes on TV and the name of each and every character on cartoons.

Each man will have to make an Indian hut model with six toothpicks, a tortilla and one marker; and get a 4 year old to eat a serving of peas.

Each man must adorn himself with jewelry, wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes, keep their nails polished and eyebrows groomed. The men must try to get through each day without snot, spit-up or barf on their clothing.

During one of the six weeks, the men will have to endure severe abdominal cramps, back aches, and have extreme, unexplained mood swings but never once complain or slow down from other duties. They must try to explain what a tampon is for when the 6-yr old boy finds it in the purse.

They must attend weekly school meetings, church, and find time at least once to spend the afternoon at the park or a similar setting.

He will need to read a book to the children each night without falling asleep, and then feed them, dress them, brush their teeth and comb their hair each morning by 7:00. They must leave the home with no food on their face or clothes.

A test will be given at the end of the six weeks, and each father will be required to know all of the following information: each child's birthday, height, weight, shoe size, clothes size and doctor's name. Also the child's weight at birth, length, time of birth, and length of labor, each child's favorite color, middle name, favorite snack,favorite song, favorite drink, favorite toy, biggest fear and what they want to be when they grow up.

They must clean up after their sick children at 2:00 a.m. And then spend the remainder of the day tending to that child and waiting on them hand and foot until they are better.

They must have a loving, age appropriate reply to, 'You're not the boss of me'.

The kids vote them off the island based on performance.The last man wins only if...he still has enough energy to be intimate with his spouse at a moment's notice.