well, this sucks

uh i cant face life? since that is what you are implying.... just wow. so, i picked myself up from being homeless at 17 and created a 30K bank account by myself with no help... because i cant face life... at the same time having cancer. just wow.

 

WOW!!! Then you should be able to pay your water bill and other bills no problem.


All those people that gave her money I'd be demanding it back with interest.

Homeless at 17? You must of made some really good decisions for yourself to be homeless at 17. Your a real smart one.

 

peanuts... if you're talking to me over and over again. i have you on ignore... so dont bother. and talking ABOUT me isnt much better.

 

I think you have some confusion about what the ignore function does. Your not supposed to be reading my posts.

You have more friends here than I do so I doubt anyone gives a fuck what I have to say. I'm just voicing my thoughts on here like the rest of us.

 

Interval I am going to say this again. Possibly also because something in me refuses to give the hell up on you. If you were my child I would not be giving up instead I would be doing exactly what I do hoping that maybe something would sink in.

I do damn well care that you are alright but I can see sometimes where you are heading and that is truly a waste. You know that what is posted at times is a wake up call for you rather than a personal attack.

What you just wrote to me is again contrary to what you are posting....you built all this up and yet you are posting about post holiday broke.....not a criticism....but holy hell from one post to the next it is very hard to know not only where you are but how the hell you will react. You post and then lash out at anyone who might not agree. That is not life as reality is that no one often agrees with us and yet most times the ones who do not agree simply see things from a different perspective if we are open enough to listen. In most cases we grow from the things that are hurtful to hear as they are often close to what is once we have the emotional distance to analyze them without the choking fear that they bring forth in us as we are not always ready to see it.

You can be a bright, articulate, compassionate woman and then something seems to flip when you do not feel you have blanket approval and you become hateful. That saddens me, more so as most who post to you with honesty do not do so to hurt you.

Those who will offer you blanket approval for things that are harmful to you are not looking afteryour interests, they are looking after their best interests and instead they are feeding a dependency in them and you for that cycle to continue.

I had posted before that there was almost an online intervention at one point.....it was never to hurt you Interval but instead to hopefully make you see that you are important but in a real sense.....not only as type on a page.

I do wish you peace and I wish you inner understanding of why you become so hateful to people who are addressing an issue that you post.

I told you a long time ago that I would never try to hurt you and I have not once in a post been hateful nor called you names or swore at you. Given that though I can not post without honesty to you.

If that necessitates for you that you ignore me....then so be it and that is acceptable. I will still post in the hope that light carries even if words are not read.

Take care.

 

heat pretty much said everything that there needs to be said.

 

heat, i read most of that.. not all cause i got shit to do in a second but i must say... though you made me a bit mad one or two times.. i do see you as caring and always have. i apprieciatte it... so just for you...

just cause i post that i am happy one day and got this and that and then the next say our water is out (NOT cause we didnt pay it) and we're low on money for two weeks... it's not me contradictiing myself. that's how i am. i did get nice things.. we are low on money. i wasnt sad w hen i wrote that. trust me. you really dont know me but i DO see the good in you and i do like you. that's why i didnt block you.

like i said before.. im not perfect. but neither are any of you...

in any case...

anyways, i did not ignore you and i wont. although you maybe cant see my progress... (but can see my faults for sure, haha), it's okay cause i know you care.

and although i may not have agreed with all you've said, i have always understood that you meant well.

in any case... i cant see me ignoring you and i dont expect you to hold back cause you always did all i asked on here (although i got upset once or twice)- you spoke with sincerity, love and truth. that's all a person can ask and i love you for it. so anyways, i just hope you can see, im not as bad off as some on here would have me out to be. there are some that love drama even more then me (haha, can you imagine )

but for real, heat.. im trying. im not there. none of us arent. that first thread i made was just a light-hearted "damn, life!!" (hehe) thread... we all have that.

but i do apprieciatte you, even though we may not always agree.

*hugs*

 

I can understand about money being tight....this time of year it is for many....so hopeful the two weeks will pass and that you have food enough....and it will pass.

Interval....if you can please go back and read some of the threads that have hurt you but read them as much as you can as an outside party......difficult to do but please try to do so. Take the time to do it and try to do so with a bit of objective as in you are not the original poster.

Some of us use flowerly speech and some of us use humour, some of us use harsher phrases.....but in most cases the posts were made as they cared....they cared about you.

I do see progress and I do see you trying to change some things in your life and that is a good place to start and to be. If you fall and trip a little I and others will be there to boot you back up. I expect you to fall as we all do.....but I also expect me to kick you hard until you get back up.

You do matter.....so matter to you. That is the key.

I will shut my babble down and hope that you have peace and harmony with you.

We do care.

 

i know you care heat. and i know some others do. but that doesnt mean everyone here does. thanks though and i will re-read some and i have done that for quite a few (one of the reasons i stopped being mad at you...cause i could see your soul)

 

So whats really going on here? ALL people should learn to pay bills BEFORE they buy cd's or most of the other material things that they think they can't live without.
Are you saying that because you bought a cd & a pair of slippers that your water was shut off? If that's the case, how damn expensive was your cd & slippers? Or are ya complaining that for some unknown reason the water just ain't working right now...in that case sorry. Know how that is when the water freezes up in NH, during the winter and pipes break.

 

haha the cd and slippers were 10 bucks a piece. geez.

and the water wasnt cause of us.. it was out everywhere. i was just bitching.

 

well, I remember when I was little my mother had to go get huge buckets of snow and melt them on the woodstove in order to get water. Luckily we also had a brook nearby to carry water from and heat up.
There are lots of people living off-the-grid: meaning they aren't hooked up to water or electricity at all.

 

oh. i know.. i was really just bitching just to bitch. i was hungry and wanted a shower but i mean.. wasnt any big deal.

anyways, it came back on so yay!

 

It's funny that your husband can afford your Christmas gifts, yet you two cannot afford to pay the needed payments to live.

 

my husband did not buy me ANY christmas gifts and im glad.

all the gifts i got were from my mom, my dad, my grandparents, my two sister in laws, my father in law and his wife, and my mother in law and her husband.

 

I know how that is...... right now my fiancee and i are trying to find a cheaper place cuz if we stay where we are we will be broke by the end of january. We have enough money to pay all the bills but only till january and his mother wont be down here till february so wed be fucked for a month. So right now were looking for a cheaper place and we are trying to scrounge up some extra money.

 

we may have to do that too. we have a pretty nice apartment but it's a bit too expensive. espiecially when you're renting... it just feels like throwing money out the freakin window.

good luck finding somewhere.

 

Why don't you try finding a couple to room with you? (I say couple because girl or boy will cause problems but couple is safe.)

 

Have you and your husband ever concidered buying a manufactured home? They are wicked cheap and it's yours so that feeling of throwing money away goes away. You might even be able to pay your mortgage cheaper than your rent PLUS where you live there should be plenty of land available nearby. PA is loaded with lots for sale.