unhappy all the time could psychedelics help?

Wow, that sounds like one hell of a cactus journey . I know very well what you mean about the feeling of being lost, and how it causes low grade anxiety constantly. "Misplaced" is the word I like, like you were born in the wrong time and place or something. Things just aren't clicking, this isn't how you'd want your life and meanings to be. I have also been through the pharmaceutical gamut and it made things worse for me as well.

I will list what helps me:

- regular psychedelic experiences

- exercise

- eating well

- sleeping well

- art

- philosophy / spirituality. zen, taoism, etc

- love

what are you doing with life? do you like your job? how is your home situation? do you have a partner? does your home get enough sunlight? I have recently discovered that fixing enough of "the very little things" can make a surprising effect on my affect.

I don't know why you feel embarassed posting this. Embarrassed to post it in these random forums to strangers? Or in general, do you not like speaking about these deeply personal things.

 

yes Mr Writer...i think it was an experience that qualified as psychedelic.....im always amazed that the mind can generate such elabourate multi facited visions thoughts and feelings.
as days go by since the experience i am actually feeling better and better.....i would not claim to be totally a peace with myself...however i feel a sense of more openness and goodwill towards myself and others ...plus a sense that some block has shifted. i can not relate this feeling to any one part of the experience in perticular....however i know that perticularly the first intense 10 hours of the experience helped me allot to come to terms with some of my blocks without stressing up and resisting what i was going through. as far as the next 3 days went of profound introspection i feel good about that also as it was like a processing and comming to acceptance of many of the events in life. funny thing was i realised that i had been in love several times in my life and not realised it at the time......there was not allot of vivid color after the first 10 hours ..it was more like thought visions kinda like a black and white film projected onto my external envioment.
sacred cacti is actually pretty special stuff and substance that i will always respect and use with care...i have had had three bad experiences in my life (not with cacti) and as you know these can be pretty horrifying...that is why im so respectful with issues like these.
as far as feeling embarassed regarding the issue....im not sure where that comes from but i do know what it is...its feeling very private and posting on what amounts to public message boards.....however i have no one close to me who can understand the experience the way some people do in these forums...i think there are some good people here who want to help..thats good.
"what are you doing with life? do you like your job? how is your home situation? do you have a partner? does your home get enough sunlight? I have recently discovered that fixing enough of "the very little things" can make a surprising effect on my affect."
i am an artist...i paint allot ..i go on gentle walks....i meditate....i have my friends...i try and eat well...drink 2 beers a day at my local favourate bar with good cheer.....try to keep regular hours...not all messed up sleeping patterns as they have been some times....try to have healthy pollitical opinions.....and probably most of all keep cool in the heat of summer before the rains come in about a month.
i do not smoke weed ...not because of any moral reason but the fact i dosent really do much for me...oh i do beleive that it has very useful medicinal properties for some ailments and i fully support its legailsation.
as far as today goes i have finished my painting for today and will just sit round for the rest of the afternoon and eventually have my two beers with my friends than get some healthy food......how could one do or be any better?
oh i might go and take a picture of the picture i just painted and attach it to the post...see if it brings you any joy.
thanks Mr Writer and the others who showed interest and care in my thread...i do hope it gave back some of what the thread gave me

cheers...jpg file attached.

 

i notice a odd thing for me...i have little anxiety about my life now...i think this unusual....for me.....it feels better.

 

if you get anxious easily i would be careful . choose a drug that doesnt last very long .
if you happen to feel unhappy on a psychedelic it may lead to a mega bad trip ..

4hodpt and 4hodipt dont last very long ..
dpt , nn-dmt (which are much more intense)

lsd can last 12 hours , mushrooms can often make you feel sick ..

if you can find some 4ho (dpt,dipt,or met) give a small taste a try ..

just work your wasy up not to overwhelm your senses .

 

i ate more cacti.....and felt the desire to be very quiet and introspective....i had this at a smaller dose than the last...i think it was better than previous time as i was not left so drained ...i still find it lasts for a long time but at a lower intensity..it is good. oh i really modified my picture untill it turned out like this...file attached

 

again this morning...confident i had judged the cacti dose right by trial and error...i tried to help my ongoing pain and fight with depression.....this time i took it 4am ....it was followed by a little nausia but that passed quickly......seems i got it right this time....6 pm and still feeling positive effects...the experience was very motif based..the first manifistations being faces in things like lighting plugs etc..that escalated into visions of faces in clouds.....audio halusinations....tremendous enhanced color in everyday life......and thats where it gets interesting....but theres allot of today there but we dont need to go into it.....the short of it is...is that it was another helpful experience on the journey to heal depression with psychedelics.....this problem i have had all my life ...i remember it as a child....like a real low mood...the only medication i have been offered for it was things like prozac...wellbutron..and all that stuff.....on the psych market ...than i would chronicly smoke ....and along with a couple of beers thrown in i was like a zombie.....ok......this experience is different......its like waking up.

 

^ It is indeed like waking up, instead of being blissfully(?) asleep. The next thing after waking up is brushing your teeth, going on a good jog, and then coming home and eating a healthy breakfast. So your physical health, lifestyle, diet, are all supremely important in maintaining total being happiness

 

Wake up call for sure. So much to know. I can't wait for my next experience. My shroom experience back in January was truly life-changing. I still battle with negativity as a result of my current place in life, but I am definitely better off than I was before.

Suicide is NEVER an option, and I've learned how my past negative actions affect other people and how stubborn I used to be with my depression.

Psychedelics are truly portals into the spiritual realm. Your brain shuts down its filters, starts processing A LOT more information than it normally does and you're propelled through the meaning of existence.

But don't take too much at once thinking you can force yourself into ego death or something. That was my stupid mistake when I took 5 hits of acid back in December. It was both a good trip and a bad trip. Not something I regret, but not a smart move at the time. It was confusing and too much to handle. Definitely not as fruitful as my shroom experience in January, when I took just the right amount.

Cannabis also is a great tool if you don't have psychedelics on you, and for me it definitely has psychedelic-like properties. It's like one piece of the puzzle, but a psychedelic reveals the entire puzzle and has a more lasting impact. Still, one shouldn't underestimate cannabis.

 

i am grateful for the experience.....thanks for the feedback regarding my posts....psychedelics definately have positive properties when applied with inteligence can be very beneficial..for sure.
cheers

 

It's a great thing that Psychedelics are finally getting researched again for their use in treatments of things like Depression and Anxiety and stuff. Hopefully in the near future you wont be the only person to feel that 'waking up' feeling after so long feeling in the dark!
Glad for you that all your experimenting seems to be paying off, hope it continues to aswell.

On another note, your paintings are absolutely incredible! I love the additions you made to the one a few posts back, it's really really well done.

 

The Multidisciplinary Association for Psychedelic Studies (MAPS) is a great site to check out. It posts a lot of up-to-date links on its website and on Facebook.

I'm actually taking a class on psychedelics at the local college starting today, so that ought to be very insightful.

 

hay ...that sounds really interesting..and useful...yes the reasearch into Psychedelics has got under way again after decades of being supressed and persecuted.....i watched a good video of a confrence on Psychedelic healing with some very interesting speakers......ild post the link at the end of this post
however all this being said....i do congratulate myself on self medicating the right dose.....having the willingness to go into the experience with an open mind and having the courage to share it publicly...in the hope that my personal reasearch can contribute to a bigger pool of knowledge regardinf Psychedelics and their uses in the area of chronic depression. i do not understand the full spectrum of Psychedelic use in mental pain....im mainly adressing my area which is chronic depression.
hay yeah ild take a look at that MAPS website......thanks...and mybe you can share some of the insite from your class...might help
cheers

 

oh by the way...the psychedelic healing confrence link has been removed from utube......thats a pitty

 

well...as time has passed i do believe that i have got every benefit from this form of therapy I can.
my pharmaceutical medication use is right down which is a blessing and i am over the withdrawals...and im feeling better too..i do think my experience was of benefit short term.
However i do not think i can gain too much more from the experimental use of psychedelics at present.
hence i will not be engaging in their use probably for many years again....i think they can be of great use to the terminally ill or those in terrible pain....and i praise the researchers who try and help humanity by investigating these modalities of healing.
for me ..i think my meditation practice is just as effective in managing my symptoms and developing that feeling of being awake also expanding the minds ability to function as a whole unit. I highly recommend tm.
It is simple easy and very effective in the reduction of stress and general healing of the body and mind. Plus I believe it has less chance of negative side effects.
I am no role model of mental health…however I give it my best shot on a daily basis. Thanks.

 

i heard it's not a good idea to use psychedelics if you are clinically depressed or have some form of mental illness. You're more likely to have a bad trip in that condition. I'm not sure if that's true or not, I personally don't use psychedelics, but I know many people who have and they have told me that I should not decide to trip if I am depressed.

 

“I can't recommend it, but if I was in your position, I would try low dose psychedelics frequently and high dose every few months or something. I would also try to make as many big changes in my life as I could to see if any change might help. Even if the change doesn't seem directly related to my depression, I would still try it.”

yeah thanks for your advice..i have been doing psychedelics like that for a few months.
i use sacred cacti...which is i think not the best psychedelic but its all i can get.
i think lsd is better primarily because it dose not induce nausea which I have to reluctantly smoke some weed to get over to stop throwing the cacti and its tea up.
And I have thrown up on that stuff..like just kerboom and its on the wall.
But anyway I had a large dose a few days ago. I lay down allot of the day seemingly staring at the wall. Actually it put me in a profoundly introspective state. In this state I became very aware of respect for others.
I share a house with 3 people who I do not really get along with.
That’s a challenge.
But I must respect.
The trip was long as cacti is a long trip.
About 20 hours. It had a recurring vision of these 3 or 4 walls and people standing behind the walls looking at me.
They where there allot like in layers. I often get this and had it allot as a child.
As a child I was hurt by aliens. not the kool higher developed ones but those lil grey guys who mess with your head and body’s remember being so scared about them they would look into my bedroom window.
But these people who watch me can be comforting or unnerving at times.
The gaze is sometimes critical and sometimes quizzical and humorous.
On the trip there where time holes I slipped into and came out of pretty fast….time stretched allot…I was not in the best space for a trip as I had allot of work pressures which are still continuing.
The love that is shown to me through tripping is truly a privilege. At times love radiates from every molecule and sub atomic partial in the universe both ours and others.
Also there is a feeling of wholeness that comes from all around me..its wonderful and the opposite of what I often feel which is a kind of desperate isolation.
I had also another trip some 7 days back and I painted…I learnt so much about painting that day it was great.
I would like to try some good quality clean lsd but its just not round here.
This place is awash with coke speed booze and weed. That’s disappointing as I need good quality lsd.
However those sacred cacti are very much like good lsd once the digestive problems clear.
Oh some months ago I had some shrooms. They where allot of fun and I needed a good laugh.
As far as my depression goes and my psychedelic use I think I am making progress.
The depression is more focused onto what is actually worrying me instead of some vague feeling of utter dysphoria.

I know this living situation has to change but slowly real slow nad thats a big change..this big change im going to make slowly.....i beleive it has allot to do with my depression. i live with my x lover and her husband and son!! WHHATT...yes we just drifted into this ove a few years,the problem round here is that no one talks to each other.
Oh I posted a post to another forum maybe you may find it interesting.

I also practice self harm and have done all my life. I would be very interested in talking to other people who do self harm regarding the issue of psychedelics..if any one wants to chat please feel free to post me.

Here is a post I made regarding self harm and psychedelic therapy.
i been trying to get off a medication called "abilify" for about 2 years … its been very difficult….and the withdrawals where terrible… however i have just decided to dump the last little bit and go with the last withdrawals.
its a happy time because this medication was hurting me bad in a number of ways.
It was making me restless
I was having bad mood swings
tardive dyskinesia
it was also hurting the ability of mind to react to psychedelic therapy, which is my primary form of psychoactive medication.
this form of treatment i am finding useful and progressive.
i was started on a dose of Ketamine (ketamine hydrochloride) by a local therapist, than i had treatment with Ibogaine for addiction to Ritalin and depression. It helped allot. With very few side effects.
there are other psychedelic medications that help my depression substantially. there is allot of information on the MAPS website.
http://www.maps.org/
i was wondering if any others who do self harm have tried this line of treatment. the thing is that its not magic. one has to want self harm to go in a specific direction.
These medications can facilitate that direction. Especially if you want to stop self harm.
In my case i did not want to stop. my doctor was very disappointed in me however i do not think he understood self harm .he knew about addictions and that was his area of treatment. i guess he thought self harm was a sort of addiction in me.
today i turn to the local Indians for help. There is a good underground healing network here of native pre Hispanic Mexican wisdom here.
i take lots of herbs and am qualified in homoeopathic and the prescription of flower essences.
so how did someone like me get into this situation? i think for me im always interested in finding the less superficial layers of my being. it seems to give me a satisfaction to know..that i have looked into myself and had that courage to face what is inside.
I think the other side of me is allot of terrible loneliness.
I live in a loveless relationship in a war torn country. Both have affected me profoundly.
This war zone I live in is problematic for me as no one likes war.
However this “war on drugs” has now claimed over 50,000 mostly innocent lives in 4 years .
I do not have the finances to get out here.
If I had money I would opt for living in Australia or Canada north America. However if I had the money I would probably end up going further south …I like south American culture and there are actually some good places further south. its this drug war that’s ripping mexico apart.
I can not even look at a gun on tv without crying now. These things become evident when living in a place like this.
Also I think my self harm is a way of coping with the war. I know that it is common for prisoners to do self harm I think im headed for that sort of configuration of mind as the pressure has just been too much.i often feel like a prisioner of war in mexico. I was just a semi urban country girl from partly inner city Sydney and partly a old tropical dairy farm in northern nsw Australia.
Yeah I just can not cope with this stupid drug war carry on.
At least mexico had the sense to decriminalize small amounts of drugs and leave users alone. However the situation here with the police is not so good. Those guys can do anything they want. Allot of the time they do not behave the way that their suppose to.
But as this post started out …im off that trash drug abilify. such a relief I was getting tardive dyskinesia from it.
I was put on abilify after I supposedly tried to kill myself some 6 years ago.
This is so embarrassing because it was NOT a suicide attempt , I was trying to temporarily decrease oxygen but messed it up i was pretty good at it but messed up this time...i flatlined…..this is another area I would like to talk about as “Some people feel that decreasing oxygen intake during sex or masturbation can lead to a more intense orgasm. It has been shown that temporarily cutting off the oxygen supply to the brain can create feelings of excitement, euphoria, and a generally greater intensification of physical sensations. Clearly, there are serious risks associated with limiting oxygen to your brain, such as brain damage and death”..i can way too close.
But yeah abilify is a bad drug. Im so glad to be rid of it.
So this post is fairly elaborate and gives further insight into the complex human being I seem to be. But in essence the equasion is very simple for me. A cheerful day would be enough.
Actually some one asked dose higher intelligent levils lead to a more likely hood of self harm
I would say yeas because less smart people tend to live in “boxes” and do not experiment outside strictly socially predicated rules of behavior.
Anyway that’s allot to digest but it helps me to post about it as the story is not mystifying nor complex …actually it makes total sense.
Praise love for my human condition ..in its perfection.
any constructive feed back much appreciated
oh i just completed another pictures .....ild attach the files
yeah thanks for your advice...its an ongoing process...ay

 

opps wrong forum

 

++ for the art keep it up.

 

psychedelics and abilify do not play well together from what I understand. Psychedelics frequently also is not the best of ideas you should always take a break after a trip and reflect on your time.