turning down sex

i missed this post but i volunteer myself.

 

hubba hubba

 

I turned down sex once... kinda. She was also a bad kisser(in her opinion) but she was very passionate about it so it was great. I didn't want her to think thats all I wanted and I knew even if she wanted it then she'd regret it later, being the first time we met, so I told her I wouldn't do it.

 

Mmyes. Sex with boring people is behind me. Bring out the fire-spitting dragon. I'll have sex with it.

 

i had some fucking hot sex last summer with a legitimately bi chick. she and her current man-toy came over to our house randomly after getting trashed with them.. we ended up drinking more then dropping acid... and she and i started making out and she ran into my room which was all black-lit and was like "get the fuck in here now." goddamn. it was fucking sexy... anyway, the guys eventually followed us in and joined in the fun but being alone with her was awesome. anyway, i guess my point is that REAL bi chicks aren't all about showing off for guys, although guys in the mix can be really awesome and sexy, too....

 

Cathy and I went for counseling after 25 years of marriage.​

When the therapist asked what the problem was, Cathy went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem we had ever had in the 25 years we had been married. She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured over the course of our marriage. ​

Finally, after allowing this to go on for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and, after asking Cathy to stand, unbuttoned her blouse, embraced her, put his hands on her breasts, and kissed her passionately as I watched with a raised eyebrow.​

Cathy shut up, buttoned up her blouse, and quietly sat down as though in a daze. ​

The therapist turned to me and said, 'This is what your wife needs at least three times a week. Can you do this?'​

I thought for a moment and replied, 'Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I play golf.' ​

 

Its obvious to turn down sex with someone that aint your type.
S'times I'll turn it down with someone I *do* like ( looks wise etc ).
Could be for a variety of reasons.
But I usually feel a bit depressed about that.

Sometimes , when someone looks hot and I'm not overfussed by them or the sex , that can give me a bit of a flat feeling too afterwards.ANd I never thought I'd have said that til a year or 2 ago...
Fuck knows...LOL

 

I so much approve of this story



For me it's all about exploringg all the genders within myself and everyone else and lettingg all sorts of strange little mixtures occur. Lady times are very special.

I actually amazed myself turning down sex last week...it was not amazing that I turned down the sex so much as that I turned it down with this person who is my friend and it so much into all the same really weird obscure fetishes as me....but I just was not down. couldn't belive it though, I was like when else will I find people who want to play with these said weird obscure fetishes- pretty much never! but I just felt like it would in this specific situation make things strange in our group of friends, like it would just be so much less light with this one or something. blah.

 

ok... i had told myself i was going to quit posting in this thread, because it seems like everything i have said in here was taken the wrong way, but then it popped up again, and i just wanted to make a statement to those who were offended by some of the opinions i rambled on about.

i am not, and would not ever say that bisexuals (or people who identify as such) are all the same, or that i dislike them as a group of people. i ranted about bisexuals in general because of late, i've had some pretty disappointing experiences with bisexual women, and have decided that at this point in my life, i don't feel like i have the emotional maturity to deal with the complexity of being with someone who is attracted to both sexes. i have a lot of issues with gender and sexuality that i've never explored fully, and i'm trying to explore them. my exploration often gets messy, and when i process, i tend to blab my mouth about things, and sometimes the things i say are so bluntly gut feelings and emotions that were really strong at that one moment, that they hurt others.

hurting people's feelings, and creating misunderstandings is not what i want to be doing, on hip, or anywhere else. bluesafire, and laura, especially, i feel like i have inadvertently hurt your feelings and insulted you, and i'm really sorry if that's the case. i've never wanted my strident nature to cause harm to anyone, and i feel terrible that it does from time to time.

i don't want to say that i appologize for what i said, because i meant every word of it. only, i meant it in the context of the recent experiences i've had. and also it's something that's just surfacing in me... a rage at the broad acceptance of male dominance in our culture, even by self-identified feminists. all i meant with my posts was an observation (and yes, strongly stated opinion) of some people and some situations (all in RL) that have been in my life recently. i was not trying to put down bisexual women on hip, or all over the world. perhaps i could have made that more clear with the way i stated my opinions, but just for the record, i was never trying to insult anyone for who they are.

and i know that there are many many women who are truly bisexual and enjoy being with a woman alone just to be with another woman. i personally don't understand how a woman can like other women and still choose to be with men. but i'm trying to take into consideration that this is coming from a place of very strong bias, and a lot of personal history. my comments regarding bi women who just want to be with women for show, or because it makes them hotter to men... i KNOW, that these women are very different from almost every single one of you hip forums ladies! i'm sorry i didn't make that clear in my original posting!

 

I'm turned down sex before, for similar reason as well.
However it does happen, VERY occasionally, that I'll turn down sex because I'm not in the mood.

 

Love ya!! Mean it!!

 

thanks, man! love ya too. i thought of you when i was standing on the corner of haight and ashbury last week.

 

You bitch!!! I'm so jealous!!! :cheers2:

 

it was awesome. i fell in love with SF!

 

I just want to make it known that, like many others have said, bad kissers are a great turnoff. So are boring people. The combination is completely unacceptable, and I am loathe to admit that I let a woman who met both criteria into my bed only a month or so ago. To be fair, that is how I found out.

I am somewhat surprised at this "men are boring lovers" business though. I will make it my personal mission not to be a boring lover ever again. Share with us poor, inadequate males why, exactly, we tend to be boring, please.

 

I know what you mean.

 

yes, it truly is an amazing city. it just feels like home. hopefully within the next few years i'll be able to swing moving there.

 

I'd love to move there, but I hear it's very expensive.

 

it's hella expensive. you pretty much gotta find an illegal apartment (i.e. one without a fire escape ) AND have a roommate. lol.

 

Sounds like a plan.