turning down sex

actually, i'm not much of a lesbian fan, because while it's hot, I know that I'll never have it


at least with a bi chick, she's still into guys, and willing to fuck a chick for me, and let me watch/join

whereas a lesbian wouldn't even want me there....

 

lol... you do realize of course, that the point of being a lesbian is that you don't have sex with men?

unless you're actually a hot woman talking about you and your girlfriend coming to give me a lesbian three way.... then we're talking!

 

yup... and that's exactly why i dislike bi chicks. because there's almost always that desire (usually just on the subconscious, energy level) to have a guy watching, to prove the hotness of sleeping with another girl. it's just pathetic when that's the case.

 

I'm friends with 2 women who are in a LTR. They're bisexual but mostly lesbian. Occasionally they miss hetero sex and find a lover to have a threesome. I've been with one woman before, but I'm mostly hetero.. probably 85% if I had to guess. I've thought about exploring something with a woman again just so I can have more than 1 experience of it, but I want it to be the *right* chemistry, not just anyone. Same with another man, cause I'm polyamorous. I can't very well explain HOW I am the way I am, or why I like what I like... that's just the way I am. Why be prejudiced? We're all beautiful unique creatures. :cheers2:

 

I can understand why you feel that way NTH. Because that's fake sex for show, not a real connection. That's not the way I do it. :toetap05:

 

girls seem to think that they need to be bisexual today

I can see how it really is a slap to the face of lesbians

 

yeah I hear a bunch of girls I went to highschool with randomly turned bi... they like eat eachother out and brag about it.

my guess was that they ran out of guys in town to fuck.
slash want attention

 

haha... awww, blues... i didn't mean to make you feel bad. i am certainly not the kind of person who goes out of their way to be mean to bisexual people or feels they shouldn't live their lives the way they want to. i just get really tired of the women (really, the teenage and college girls) who give bi and lesbian women a bad name by only sleeping with women because men think it's hot. it makes me mad. and i admitted my prejudice because it DOES color how i view bisexual women, regardless of why or how they practice their bisexuality. i personally feel like it makes it harder on those of us who really REALLY are not interested in men, because it makes men feel like all lesbians must want a cock every once in a while, or that lesbians are missing something, or what not. i also tend to view women who end up with men as weak... always running to man to make their life more comfortable when they can't hack it as someone who stands out in society. because i've seen how people automatically accept you when they think you're with a man, and reject you the instant they find out you're not, because you're a dyke. even in this very pro gay area it happens all the time, and it hurts, so i push my emotions into a prejudice against people whom i perceive as perpetuating this kind of inequality.

BUT, i realize that most of my frustration is (or should be) aimed at society and its standards, rather than bisexuals themselves. this is something i'm attempting to work through for myself. because i don't like that i have such strong negative feelings towards bisexual women. lol... maybe it's just that i need to work through my man hating, so i don't hate women just for liking men.

and i really hope i didn't offend any of the women on here who indentify as bi. i actually, deep down, really respect people who are open enough to view individuals as beautiful, and who are able to just fall in love with anyone. i once thought that i was one of those kinds of people, but i think that's just not my mission in this particular lifetime. but i do want to dig deeper into why i have these strong emotional reactions to certain situations, such as bisexuality, and why some things bother me so much, because i imagine that at least part of the way i feel is really a result of some programming i've gotten from society, or family, or whatnot, and i'm ready to deprogram, lol!

 

nah, you didn't make me feel bad. I didn't have the slightest blip on my emotional radar. You're cool. I know your reaction right now is about *you* not anyone else. And I think you're aware enough to recognize that. I don't think you're unkind or mean-spirited at all, just misdirecting your energy.

I'd like to suggest something you might find helpful, if I may. What you see missing in society-at-large is a sense of understanding, acceptance, and compassion toward lesbians, right? Well.. the reason why it's missing is because people haven't developed the ability to SEE or GIVE that, yet. And same with you... your attitude toward society-at-large, as far as how it is right now, lacks understanding, acceptance, and compassion. Isn't that so? It's like a mirror effect. What you see "out there" is a mirror of what's going on "within". People always wait for others to change first. Let so-and-so change first, or let society change first.. THEN I'll be accepting of them. Well... ??? That's the state of the world isn't it? Waiting for others to change first.

OR... we can have compassion for other's lack of understanding and accept them now, exactly as they are, prejudiced or not, open minded or not, limited in their capacity to love, or not. In that way we claim our own power and not depend on anyone's approval or acceptance of us. Then we are so abundant within, with self love and acceptance, that we can afford to be generously tolerant of others.

I think alot of minority groups give away their power needlessly, when they become addicted to society's approval. Society isn't very progressive, ya know? They'll come around when they come around. But in the meantime... let's not dwell in resentment and create a toxic inner environment, because that only hurts us. And the resistance it creates only serves to keep society entrenched in its ways.

 

My wife and I are way past any "for show" aspects of lesbian sex. I will admit it was amazing to watch and quite frankly still is, but it is more about the sex and the partner instead of what is "hot" I know my wife would still have an extravaganza watching me do likewise. Funny thing about my wife is that it has always been about the connection with her.

 

i'm glad you got that i'm not actually angry at individual people, just the way that society is. and yes, a lot of what i've got running around in my mind today is pretty much about what i'm personally experiencing and coming to terms with. but that's why i come on here to discuss things with cool openminded people... because i need my mind to be opened and expanded.

i do have a lot of compassion for society at large. i've spent the last 2 years of my life exploring in a very deep way what it feels like to be a part of the majority. i lived in a small town in virginia, with a church on every street corner. i worked with people who had never known a gay person before. i was in a hetero relationship, and kept my mouth shut most of the time about my gayness. i learned what it's like to be "normal america." and i have a HUGE sense of compassion for those who are stuck in the comfortable patterns of life, because i see just how difficult it is, even when you think it's comfortable. i see how most people in this society are very unhappy with their lives. i'm sad for them, because i now know intimately what it feels like...

but that compassion and understanding doesn't make it right. doesn't make people's greed, and ignorance, and addiction to the numbing haze of consumerism, and prejudice and hatred somehow ok. and i disagree that society will come around on its own. it will NEVER come around without people who rock the boat a bit. it needs a variety of types of people... those who show by example but don't shout it from the rooftops, it needs people who send good energy behind the scenes, it needs people who resist change so much that they make the positives of the new stuff glow (hello... bush vs. pres. obama??? lol).

i care deeply about helping the world wake up, and grow, and open their minds and hearts to love and tolerance and abundance. it's what i'm here to do quite frankly. and i truly believe that i was born into this incarnation with the determination to be in the minority (be gay, and a woman, and non christian, etc. etc.) so that i could be a voice. a spark, a firecracker...

so yes, sometimes i say things that come across as angry and hateful and prejudiced. i say things that shock people. i do things that shock even me, lol! why? for attention, yes. not for myself, although my life and the way i live it are meant to be a message. but attention for the things that most people in the US (and around the world) don't ever want to look at.

i really don't care if i always get it right, and never screw up. i don't care if i say or do things that later i think were kind of stupid and counterproductive. the thing i strive for is to say and do the things that in my soul feel right and honerable. and when i fuck up, i ask spirit (DAILY) for the strength and courage to find the honerable part of myself that can admit that i was hurtful and wrong, and to appologize for any harm i have caused. because the bottom line is that all of this is a learning experience for all of us. i'm learning as i go, and that's bound to be a bit messy.

but i have gotten to the point where i don't care if its messy how we progress, just so long as we as a global community are progressing!!

 

i do not approve of this idea

 

Neither do I.

 

lol... i wasn't suggesting that all men drop dead. that would actually be a very bad thing, and i have some wonderful friends who are men.

i was just trying to make a point, and i'm stoned, so everything gets hyperemotional, haha!

 

i'm scared. the lesbians are going to kill me in my sleep

 

i have turned down sex with attractive people a bunch it almost ALWAYS has to do with the kissing. i'm big on kissing... dammit, i love it. and it has to be good. lucky i'm with the best kisser in all the world.

 

nuh uh i've never been in the same room with you, zilla

 

i feel insulted!! i have fucked a couple girls without guys present. i just prefer group sex anyway, whether it's me and 2 guys, another girl, another couple.... it's fun! and fucking hot. some days i like guys more and some days girls. so it goes!

 

i was only talking about the majority of bi girls i have met in RL. and i am convinced that the awesome bi chicks on here are really honestly bisexual. i just have never found one in RL who actually wants to be with a girl and has no fantasy of having a guy watch going on in her head while fucking me.

that's all i was really ranting about.

cuz when i really look deep into my emotional lock box, to figure out why i am reacting so strongly in distaste of this poor girl...

i realize that i'm upset because the one time we did have sex, i kept getting the feeling that she was wishing her exboyfriend would walk in the door and catch us and think it was hot.

so. appology for my rant against bisexuals... i meant no offense to any of the cool bi people on here... i was just processing , and apparently when i process i babble a lot about crazy stuff.

 

I like your energy and passion. I tend to read energy with people and that's how I know where they're really coming from. With you I sense that you're connected to compassion and that you're open minded and willing to look at yourself, and to see things in a broader view. I sense humility as well as courage, and a rebellious spirit who wants to actively engage in bringing about change.

Yes, it's good to walk in other's shoes for a bit, because that's what leads to compassion and not ignorant judgment. Social pressure is intense and people fear being ostrasized. Not everyone is a bold pioneer, eh?

Well no, hate & prejudice, etc. isnt "right" but it is "the way it is" for many. Change doesn't come through making someone wrong, because that kind of energy only builds more defensiveness in people and actually keeps change from happening. I'm all for communicating a different way. What works is to communicate in a way that helps rather than hinders. I think the key element here is not what action we take but how we're being in the moment... where we're coming from within. Are we resistant, resentful and adversarial internally? If so, then we've begun a war that can only produce conflict in the world, even if the action comes in the name of "peace" and "progress". But you know what's best for you to do, of course. I agree that we're each guided to be in the world in a different way, each having a specific function to perform. No one can play the part of another and all parts are necessary.

Yes, I can see that. I too have had my share of interesting life lessons. I've been on the receiving end of prejudice several times in my life, and have experienced a wide gamut of life circumstances and conditions. It has all been very helpful to shape who I am and how I function in the world today.

You know... there's a real power... a deep power that comes from being in harmony with what you know is true, coupled with tolerance for those who do not yet see. The voice of truth, when spoken from this inner certainty, is very compelling. It has the ability to penetrate through layers of resistance and reach the hearts of those who have been lost in fear and ignorance. Without the presence of such a voice, communication becomes empty, only drawing attention to the form and not the content of its message.

This is very good and I agree. We have to just keep putting one foot in front of the other and not getting hung up on always doing it right or being perfectly aligned in the moment. Like you said, we learn as we go, if we remain open. Everybody does. I think alot of people get hung up on being "spiritually correct" and lose authenticity in the process, plus an opportunity to truly learn from their errors because they're so busy maintaining an image.

Sometimes it's hard to guage how we're doing globally. Appearances can be deceiving. Sometimes change works its way into us from deep within and only manifests externally at the last stages.