This one time... At band camp... The Yank's Karma

I you couldn't be a musician in later life, what would you be?

 

That's a REALLY tough question, as a lot of the time I feel like I'd really be dead than not be able to be creating music. I remember talkinga bout this to some of my friends, and it would take a LOT to make me stop playing music. Even if I lost my all of my limbs I think I'd ask someone to tape drumsticks to the stubbs where my arms used to be or something silly like that. I'd be writing notes down on paper with a pen in my mouth. I remember once I asked you what you would do if you weren't able to write, and you said that you'd be writing iwth your own blood on the walls before you stopped writing, and that's pretty much how I feel. You would have to put me in such a vegitative state to stop me from playing. Even if I do different things in life (such as writing and art) and have different jobs/careers that dont involve music, music is still THE MOST important thing in my life, and I don't think there is anything on this earth that could change that...
I have considered other jobs, often in journalism. I can see myself being a writer for a newspaper or magizines or something like that. Or maybe art, working as a teacher or something. This would still allow me to be creative and express myself, without having to confide in a 9 to 5 job completely, and I'd still be able to devote almost everything else in my life to music...

 

You're a very creative person, and many creative people are left handed, are you?

And I'll turn your question back on you - what was/is school like for you?

 

I use both my hands equally, but I normally write with my right hand. I can do it with my left hand, but it looks better with my right. I do most everything else with my left hand though, I eat, throw balls/frisbees, and catch things with my left hand. I'm really weird and screwed up like that actaully...

School for me has been up and down. When I was little, I gave all I could into academics, but now not so much. High school has been very up and down - My first year was my worst academic wise, but the best socially. The past two years my grades have gotten better, and most of my friends are in band, with a few outside of school. My high school career has taken place mostly in my school's band room, or art room. I've also really enjoyed my English classes though, they get better and better as I get farther into high school. As of right now high school is really good, I have a great list of classes and some new friends, and best of all, more time in the band room...

 

Do you watch much TV? What are your favourite shows?

 

I really don't like TV. I'll watch a few shows every now and again, like the Simpsons or silly shows like that, and I'll catch a few interesting documentaries if I see them when flipping through the channels. I don't know if you get this show int he UK, but I love watching this show called "How It's Made" just becuase it's so bad and oddly done. It's mesmorizing how starnge it is, whenever I see that on I make a point of watching it.

 

Never seen it nope.


When did you stop believing in Santa?

When did you stop believing in God?

 

I stopped believing in Santa when I was 5 or 6. I saw my mother writing "From Santa" on a gift when I woke up in the middle of hte night. In all reality I wasn't that upset, I still got the presents

I stopped believing in god after my mother died. Before that my faith waivered, but the couple years after my mother died completely killed any faith I had in him...

 

Describe your happiest memory.

 

That's another really hard question! You guys are grilling me here

The happiest memory of my childhood, when my mother was still alive, is Christmas from what I was about 4 or 5. My mother and I made cookies and wrapped presents and bought some really nice things for my brother and my father. It's kind of a blur when I was really young, but it's a really strong memory, and it has a very pronounced presence in my head. It's one of the few memories about my mother that doens't involve her being ill or in the hospital.

When my mother died, it was like starting a whole new life for me. I basically divide me life into two parts, when my mother was alive and after she died. I have 3 "happiest" memories after the time she died, which are different in the fact that one involves family, on involves friends, and one involves love. It's hard to consider which one made is the happiest, because they all made me happy in such different ways...

 

Next question then is obvious - what are those three memories?

 

I figured you'd ask that

The one that involves family is when I was at Christmas dinner the year after my mother died. We all sat around my grandparent's living room and talked about her - which is not something we were able to do the year before (She died less than 3 weeks before Christmas) and it made me truly inspired. It was a time when everyone was there in my family and we were able to really shareand open up to each other.

The one with my friends actaully happened my first year at band camp. It was the first or second night we were up there, and it was about midnight. Three my my closest friends and I were laying in the middle of the field that we'd marched on, and we were staring at the stars just talking. Really not talking about anything that important, just how the day had went, old boyfriends and girlfriends, and the lot. But it made me so happy, that moment is when I first felt like that this group of people was family to me. And I'd never seen the stars so clear, being in the city I never get to see them very well at all...

The one with my boyfriend is the cheesy story of when he first told me he loved me. I remember we were laying on his bed talking, and then I start drifting off to sleep (had had a very long day) with my head resting on his stomach, and just as I was able to fall asleep he gently picked up my head, and said "I love you Sarah." The room was darker, as it was later at night, and it was snowing outside. We spent the rest of the night together, then went outside and had a snowball fight before he took me home. Him and I have become so close, and I'll never forget that. This is the first time I ever felt like I've been truly "in love" and it feels like something mroe than a silly teenage relationship, and I do truly hope it lasts. In any case, he's stood by me when others haven't and gotten me some of the hardest times in my life, and been totally non-judmental, and just helped me make tough choices that I couldn't make myself. That is something I'll always love him for, no matter what...

 

And from love to its opposite. Have you ever hated someone?

 

I don't think I've ever truly *hated* someone - I don't have it in me. I believe that humanity as a whole is good and I believe firmly in humanity - Despite what's going on on this earth now. A lot of people have gone as far to call me a humanist. And hatred seems so final, love can change, but I think hatred has alot more trouble changing. I believe love and hate are equally strong, but no matter how much I dislike someone I can't hate them...

 

Why do you think humanity is good? Surely good and evil are concepts that we have invented. And on the grand scale of things, aren't the concepts of good, evil and even humanity itself, largely irrelevant?

 

The little things that human beings do for each other to help them make me thing humanity as a whole is good. Even the little things like holding doors open for each other, helping you pick up a pile of papers when you drop them, and being a shoulder to cry on when you have a hard day. If humanity wasnt good at its core, these things would not exist. People would be concerned only about themselves and stomp on everyone along the way - And granted there are a lot of people who DO do that, but I still believe that the good people far outweigh the bad. It's just that the people who choose to be "bad" in that sense do far more extreme things than the people who just try to keep planet earth bearable to live on.
Yes, I do believe that the concepts of good and evil have been created by humanity. But since we created them, and we're living with them now, they are NOT irrelevant in any way. If they were irrelevant matters we would be able to get rid of them. And humanity obviously on this earth for a purpose, we've survived this long, and we've created these concepts and have to find a way to manage the way they've developed over the ages now...

 

Good answer, I was hoping you'd say something like that.

Can you swim? Do you like swimming? If so, where is your favourite place to swim?

 

Why were you hoping I'd say something like that?

I really don't like swimming, but I can. I've come close to drowning a few times, becuase I didn't know how to swim until a few years ago. I'm not good at swimming, I can not drown, but I just don't like it and feel no need to learn more than I already know...

 

Because it's along the lines of an answer I would have given to that question. I don't believe in universal morals, they are all human inventions, but taking that into account, I still have values, invented or not.

When did you come close to drowning?

 

Mainly when I was younger and had NO idea how to swim. I fell through frozen ice once when I was 6, and I fell into my friend's swimming pool when I was 6, and it was a deep pool. They were both very scary, and I've just always hated being in water...