This makes me so mad..

I take back what I said , if Jiimman is a woman. If you are a woman, what the hell man? why do you keep posting stuff on how women are evil and everything?

 

Even if he was her real father, he still should not have any say in what form of feminine hygeine products this girl is using. I could understand say, if she wanted to go on birth control, but it is fucking tampons!! A young teenager going through her menstrual cycle for the first time has a hard enough time talking with her mother about it, much less a man who isn't even her father! It is a very private, personal experience, and most of the time embarassing.

She should be able to use whatever method she likes, because it is HER body. Not her stepfathers. And it is not a "man" issue. Using tampons don't affect anyone, except the person wearing them. Ooh, more comfortable than a fucking pad...God forbid.

 

BTW, there are tampons made without dioxins. The risk of TSS is small to none. You would have to wear a super-ultra plus absorbency for like 2 days to be exposed to it.

 

If he is her biological father, then he has a say in it, because she is his child too, so it is his responsibility to take care of her as well as the mother's. He has the same amount of love that her mother has on her , if he is her biological father- or may be even more if he doesn't let her do anything dangerous.

 

Hmmm...I let my wife and daughters handle those feminine hygiene matters. I figure my wife is a bit more qualified than I.

The step father seems a bit off by the original posting, but......you who made the "He's only the step father" and "If my step father told me to do something trivial I'd tell him to bag off." sort of comments are off. I am a step father and I own the house, make the money and provide for the family so it's my rules under my roof.

 

Jiim, he is the STEP-FATHER! He is'nt obligated to do shit. I doubt that this girl sticking a tampon up her vagina holds any bearing at all on his life what-so-ever, other then giving him high blood pressure from freaking out so damn much. How do you know what their situation is? How do you know he brings home the fucking bread? You're thinking that this is about male rights. Belive me, if it was, I'd be the first one to raise the fucking flag, but it's not about that. This guy does'nt get a fucking period, what the fuck does he know? Jiim, maybe your wife and kids would respect you a little more if you were'nt such an asshole.

 

First of all, I don't recall the post stating that the step-father insisted on her calling him "dad," but the fact of the matter is that when you get married to a person who already has children, you do become the father; if the mother did not want the man having any say in how the child is raised, then she should not have married him. One has to assume that because she married him, that she found him acceptable as a parent for her child. Of course, as I stated before, she may have married the man for alterior motives.

I think your analogy misses out on a few things. First of all, you cannot honestly tell me that fathers and mothers are considered equal when it comes to parenting in our society. The best example of this is Father's Day and Mother's Day. Which one is more "popular"? Right, Mother's Day. Also, if you go back in time, you will find numerous examples of how men in particular a particular fondness for their mothers, to the point where when dying on battlefields, men were aften heard calling for their mothers. Simply put, there is a significant difference between the way mothers and fathers are perceived as parents. As a result, mothers who are controlling, over-bearing etc. are less likely to be faulted for it. So I think in your analogy, most people would be a lot less infuriated about the mother's conduct.

 

I've never once stated that women are evil, so I'm not sure where you get off saying such a thing--oh, unless you have a problem with men expecting to have rights as parents.

 

Who gives a shit who's body it is: if she's living under his roof, then she has to abide by his wishes.

Spare me the "it's a very private, personal experience..." routine. This whole notion that women are special creatures with all these attributes that men just can't understand is nauseatingly antiquated. Every man knows what a period is. So in this man's opinion, he feels it best that the daughter doesn't use tampons. By the sounds of the original post, the matter was no doubt discussed, and the father probably raised concerns about healtiness of tampons, and the mother disagreed. The mother then sided with the daughter, and so out of concern for the daughter's health, he locked the tampons in a cabnet. Hardly the actions of a "controlling man," rather the last recourse of a concerned father.

 

I am not just from America, but also from India, and I have seen two things very clearly , both in India and in America.

The first - 1) Boys are very fond of their mothers.
2) Girls are fond of their fathers.
You may not think so, maybe you have seen only one side of it, but I have seen both sides and know for sure that girls get along playfully with their dads.

However, I agree with one thing though and that is that men are thought of as less nurturing and are criticized for every single thing they try to do when it involves women - whether that be in teaching their daughters something or trying to tell their wives what they want them to look like.

Mothers are less criticized, but no one denied the father his right to think the right and wrong of HIS child.

Still, in this case, you cannot side with the man on this issue, because like I said, it is something that is very personal to the kid and one parent already agrees that she can do something that she wants.

IF this is something like buying her a car and the guy is the one who is making the money (ofcourse, most of the time) , then he has 90% of say in it and then you can say that even if he is the step dad, it is not wrong for him to say what he wants. If she is trying to date someone, then that someone is a person that this guy doesn't like- because lets say this boyfriend has bad character... then it is also sensible for him to look out for her, but when it comes to an individual's very own personal space- may be the biological parent- father or mother can violate the kid's right to it, but it is not sensible and is not right for a step-parent (male/female) to violate it .

 

periods suck, but the one time my dad had to take me the the store to get tampons, he wouldnt even get out of the car, i went into the store by myself. i say if this behavior kept up and it bothers her enough, she should go to court or somethin (i dont know this legal system) and get a female judge, and present her case.. i can ask my brother if she even has a case, hes a lawyer and quite proud (he put his business card in our christmas stockings.. ) good luck person's firend

 

Jiim, you don't marry someone for your kids, you marry them because you love them. Now, as I'll say again, you don't know their situation. If the step-father and mother got married when the threadstarter's friend was just an infant, he should, and in most cases does take care of the child as if she were his own. You don't know that though. I'm sixteen, If my mom married some other guy, I would'nt expect him to go play ball with me and all that fatherly shit. She could of married this guy only a few years ago, the threadstarter's friend might not, and probably does'nt even consider this man her father. You have to look at it from the child's perspective--he's just some fucking guy. Yeah he nice, yeah he puts food on the table(maybe), but that does'nt make him her father.

Jiim, do you go and tell NASA how to build their space ships? No! Do you tell a Japanese person how to speak Japanese? No! You don't do those things for the same reason everyone else does'nt do those things, because you don't know what the hell you're talking about. You've never built a space ship, you don't know any japanese, and you sure of hell have never have never gone through a menstrual cycle. Yeah, every man knows what a period is, but none of them have gone through it. Most of these girls are just that, girls. They don't fully know what PMS is, other then a bunch of blood and gross shit. So one day, it happens and they fucking freak out. Now I don't fully know what they are going through, because I'm not a woman.
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Dude, it is a personal and private experience okay? . Everyone knows what a period is and yes- while that is true, everyone still agrees that it is a personal and private experience.

Let me degrade the quality of my post by saying:

One simple example would be masturbation . Everyone knows what it is, but do your dad and mum tell you how to handle it ?

Just because periods are said to be special does not necessarily mean that women are more special than men.

In this case, I do not think that the mother has poor judgement. Maybe the girl feels comfortable with the mother's judgement- ofcourse she is another woman.

Just because a woman feels comfortable with discussing these issues with another woman will not make her or the woman race any more special than a man.

The parent should be concerned with the well being of his/her child. If the tampons are something that the child is using responsibly without and they are safe and healthy for her to use, then what is wrong in letting her use them?

 

HAHA, you are comparing this to building space ships and being japanese.

Try to stay with the topic please. Everyone knows the workings of the menstrual cycle and actually it is sort of like shitting except you do it from a different whole and can't stop it. . I am not a woman, but I am positive that I know what it is and in the future, I have to learn about it and write about it in medical exams.

And also , it is not gross my friend, it was your home once, before you came into this world.

And also , he is not telling the girl what to do, he is denying her right to privacy to carry on with her own thing which is actually safe for her to use- with her mother's instructions about how to use what on what day.

 

Actually, I was comparing jiim telling nasa how to build space ships, and Jiim telling Japanese how to speak their own lanuage to men telling women wether or not to use tampons. Yeah, we know about space ships, but that does'nt mean we can walk around telling people how to build them.
Just to clear things up, Jiim, as far as I understand, has never told NASA how to build their space ships, or has told any people from japan how to speak japanese. I'm not saying that you, or any educated man, does'nt know about pms, but I am saying that men have never gone through it, which means they have considerably less experience on the subject.
If I may ask, how was what I said off-topic?

 

ok my friend is my about my age, and i just found out from my friend today that he is against it because in his words "it is disgusting." he is rude to the family,argues with anything they say, he takes every opportunity to control he gets. I've witnessed all these things. Her mom did not marry the man because she loved him, nor did he love her.

He is an immigrant from Italy, and they met on the internet. They agreed to marry, and he pays her to let him live with her here in Canada, but to the public, they come off as a loving couple. He spies on my friend, he listens in on her phone calls, she's not allowed to use the internet, he makes her go to bed at 8:30(she's 14!), and a hell of a lot more. She doesn't want to move away to her dad's(its in town tho.) because she'll miss her mom.

So NOW do you guys think that he has the right to do all this? It's not his choice, no matter what you say whether his wife wears makeup or curls her hair, because women are considered people now, right? Last time I checked, Canada is a free country, one of which that isn't even his homeland. As many of you have said, the man is an asshole once you've met him, and some of the people here know that without even doing so! I'm only telling you guys exactly what my friend has told me, and what I have seen myself.

Her mother also provides for the family, and from what my friend tells me, more so than the stepdad. He did not become the father role in her life, just because he married her mom, because her dad lives in town, and she stays with him regularly. So just because he said its "disgusting" she can't use tampons. Isn't that just grand. He must be super smart to know that.

 

Yes , i hate her step dad too

Hes EVIL!!! the end.

If you want to do something about it, like make us sign a petition then please , tell me where to ... i will sign an internet petition that will let her use her tampons with out the approval of her step dad.

 

Step Dad sounds like a pervert to me. He shouldn't be mentally analyzing and picturing his step daughters vagina in his dirty little brain. What a sicko! And why is he spying on her and listening to her private conversations?? The man sounds way too obsessed with her!! I truly hope her mom is keeping an eye on this man because it sounds like the next step could be molestation. He sounds too weirdly protective over her. I see alot of red flags going up!!





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Jiman...

What the stepfather is doing is a form of child abuse. There is a difference between having rules and being overly-controlling to the point of it being psychological abuse. My best friend grew up in a house like that, and I was witness to some horrible things. Let me give you just a few examples.

1. My best friend's dad told her not to listen to certain types of music anywhere, ever. Now, most parents who do this just mean at their homes. But my best friend's dad said; "If you ever listen to heavy metal music ANYWHERE I will know about it and I will beat you."
2. Picked out what colors of makeup she could wear.
3. Picked her classes in school.
4. Picked her extra-curricular activities based on his interests, and ignored hers.
5. Had her mother read all of her mail, go through her backpack everyday, and go through her purse everyday.
6. Tapped her phone.
7. Told her she could never have a period.
8. Told her she could never have sex or get married.
9. Told her she had to vote Republican because he did and then watched her fill out her voter registration.
10. Chose her major in college-Accounting, which she hated.

Finally, at the end of her first semester of college my best friend was able to escape. She moved in with her boyfriend, now husband. She changed her major to Psychology and started to come to terms with the abuse. Now, she doesn't speak with her parents at all. She has told them that until they admit to the abuse and get therapy they will not have a relationship.

Because of the abuse my best friend has a very hard time making good decisions because everything was controlled for her, but she's getting there.

 

Okay, provided that your story is true, which I'm beginning to doubt, I'd say that your freind's mom GOT WHAT SHE DESERVED. Who would be stupid enough to marry someone that she met on the Internet, and who, you claim, she did not love. Clearly she had an alterior motive, then: MONEY. As far as I'm concerned, I couldn't give less about someone as stupid as her, so I'm not really going to bother with this subject any more.

But I just want to make one point: when a teenager such as yourself comes along and makes comments such as:

"he is rude to the family"
"argues with everything they say"
"takes every opportunity to control he get [?]"

and then complains:

"he spies on my friend"
"he listens in in on her phone calls"
"she's not allowed to use the internet"
"he makes her go to bed at 8:30"

one has to begin to wonder just how valid the complaints are given the propensity for teenagers to overstate the injustices that they experience at the hands of adults. Well, I guess we'll never know what the truth is because all we have to go on is your unreliable statements, so I guess that's that.