The real 100+ sex partners thread

Conservative on race:

X. Racism is the ideology of intellectual and moral inferiority that is innate

"A belief in the congenital worthlessness of a people" -MLK

1. Don't believe that race is a social construct, but is instead a biological reality

ex. just because there's the color pink, doesn't mean there's no such thing as red and white

ex. there are more differences between the sexes than within the sexes but sex exists

2. Don't believe there's that much racism in America, think my people are being ingrates

ex. although we're 12% of the population, we make up about 50% of all TV personalities in a wide variety of roles, compare that to Brazilian TV

3. Believe stereotypes are on average true, shared experience is a form of empirical evidence

ex. Blacks as musical dates back to Aristotle's times

ex. in the age of the world wide web, we can see that the same stereotypes are repeated globally

Therefore:

Against affirmative action, support class-based affirmative action/quotas world-wide

See racial profiling as rational discrimination due to statistics on crimes, loans, tips

Support diversity, interracial dating

Against self-segregation, all-black schools, black versions of everything ('Belly dancers of Color"? Come on now)

I think that's more or less it.:2thumbsup:

 

Well, unfortunately real biology says otherwise.

Stereotypes usually arise from an element of truth. But that same truth can be greatly exaggerated and transformed into something it’s not. Thus it’s very dangerous to take stereotypes and apply/accept them as a standard norm.

We see eye-to-eye on a couple things here, but not everything. Thanks for sharing though

 

Any hot girl wanna have sex with me?
I slept with 99 partners, but I really wanna participate in this thread so I am desperately looking for a hot girl to have sex with.

All offers will be considered.

 

Very disappointing.

 

I mean that in the sense of a relationship, not sex and I don't do relationships.

 

You went to the wrong college. They used to call it casual sex, but hooking up started growing in popularity in colleges in the 1960's (remember a social group called the hippies?) and reached its peak with the mainstream in the late '70's. How could a guy your age not know this?

I think today's young girls are just more comfortable talking about casual sex and projecting a more trashy public image. Studies show they are more talk than action, the opposite of their '70's counterparts.

You do not represent your entire generation. My husband is close to your age.

This is where your post started getting creepy. Reading stuff like that is uncomfortable.
:leaving:

 

And?? How does that make it any less hypocritical?

Why is it that gender roles are so evil only when they are inconvenient to you; but so incredibly necessary when they are convenient? How are taxi drivers inherently less able to emotionally satisfy you than lawyers? Or should we expect relationships are tantamount to prostitution even to the most 'liberated' of women?

And that, when all is said and done, patriarchy is the best system after all?

I'm sorry, but these statements that are so casually dropped about, because we're culturally used to it, have far-reaching conclusions. I can't help but to think that.

 

You're right. I said in my original post that I never played the first time I met someone. The reason I said that was because I really didn't want to take the time to explain in detail when I was writing that survey. It was just easier to say "never" and exaggerate than explain the whys and whats. I guess it was misleading, so let me correct the record: I rarely have sex the first time I meet someone.

I had a lot of sex with a lot of different people, but my number of actual partners is probably lower than many others in this lifestyle because I did take the time to get to know most of them, and overall, I have always preferred sex friends, regular partners, and sex with friends- that is, I had sex with quite a few people I knew, or who were acquaintances. My gf of the time and I seduced a couple of our guy friends- those were good times.

I also have to count some encounters in twos...that is, I'd meet up with couples and be their unicorn. That hits two birds with one stone, hahaha...

I guess we define it differently then. I define it as not having a relationship with someone and only having sex once. I would meet a guy at a sex club for example, talk with him, then arrange to meet him another day for sex. Or, I'd meet a guy for one date, then have another date with sex, and then never see him again. Or, I'd have sex with a girl or guy friend once and never again. I counted those as one night stands, too.

By your definition, I think I could count around 10 or 12 (that I can recall). Those would have been guys I met at my regular sex club/party that I was introduced to, or guys I met when I was out clubbing and got drunk and horny. Yes, I did that a few times. It wasn't my usual thing, but it did happen, especially when I was younger and less experienced. I hadn't yet realized that drunk + not knowing someone + one night stand = really bad sex. After I realized that, I didn't do it anymore since it just wasn't worth my time or energy. Yuck...that's where all the bad experiences, as in bad sex, came in.

 

For YOU- because despite your assertion that quantity is a meaningless concept, you still judge people based on numbers. You claim it's usual for your generation, but really, it's common across all ages. I've met twenty year olds who would agree with you.

Personally, I don't judge people by the number of partners they've had. It has nothing at all to do with the important things: honesty, integrity, morality, kindness, charity, empathy, and so on. One's moral compass doesn't lie between one's legs.

 

I don't care what people think, but I do care what they say to me. I'm not here to debate- that is, prove someone else wrong. I'm here to discuss, exchange points of view, educate others, and learn from others. That's why I asked if people here tend to just insult each other or whether they are interested in really communicating. If this is the kind of forum where people just troll and insult each other, then yeah...I'll be on my way.

When I read the title of this post, I took it at face value: the OP wanted to talk about his/her experiences with large numbers of partners with other like-minded people. I actually didn't notice that comment about "shut your trap" - you are right that it is rude. I apologize for jumping on you before understanding completely what you were talking about.

Reading it again, I think that it's the OP being defensive against people who come into these threads just so they can slut shame. But maybe you have knowledge of the OP that I don't, so I'll capitulate on that particular matter.

My question was, why the need to being up or defend monogamy in the first place, when it's not even a subject of discussion? For example, if I went into a forum for Christian people where people were talking about their faith and said, "Hey! There's nothing wrong with Buddhism, you know!" wouldn't it seem, well, off-topic and rather defensive?

It's not "us" vs "you". We see ourselves as a niche, yes; but doesn't everyone have some niche in society? I mean, if you have a hobby, you probably see yourself as part of that community. There's nerds, sci-fi fans, cosplayers, manga fans, BDSM community, GLBT people...and so on. As humans we tend to group ourselves with like-minded people. That doesn't mean we feel above anyone else, or superior.

Yes, there are bad apples in every group who enjoy feeling superior to others, that is definitely true. But other than the OP's original post, there has been no indication at all that I personally can see of anyone being dismissive of or otherwise purposefully dogging on anyone with less experience. I hope you realize that most of us aren't like that.

Well, because we ARE different. I mean, really, how many women do you know who is completely unashamed of the fact that she's had over 100 partners? Women/men who are non-monogamous, and/or poly? It's a wholly different mindset from the majority of the population.

And for the record, I didn't claim "you" were "bad". My beef with you wasn't your lack of a number of partners. It was that you felt you had to defend monogamy in a thread where monogamy wasn't even a topic, and a seeming put-down where you dismissed what I had said before you'd even read it.

I recognize that now. At the time I read it, I thought it was aimed at everyone in the thread and not just the OP, so I responded. I do understand your point of view better now. When you pointed out that the OP had said "shut your trap" I immediately understood where you were coming from. Again, I apologize for jumping on you before understanding completely what you were talking about.

Please know that I personally do not support that comment in any way, and I hope the OP removes it.

 

I guess I'm a sicko but I think of the number of cocks in a woman's pussy and mouth over time as if it were one of those sped up time lapse movies and it makes me queasy, also the idea of the body odor of that many men permeating a woman's nostrils, again queasy.

 

I get where you're coming from now .

I just want to say... and again, no offense… this is just my observation. But it seems to me that you’re really not that free sexually. I might even dare call you somewhat conservative sexually. You seem to have rules about sex (such as not fucking someone on the first meeting) which most people that are truly open and carefree about sex don’t have.

According to your posts, you very rarely engaged in random hookups. Yes, a lot of your partners were acquired from swinging, but even in the swinger clubs you would only fuck people that were friends of friends and deemed to be “Ok.”

^^^ This statement says it all. It suggest that you’re a relationship type of girl. Even though the relationships aren’t formal or official, it’s still a relationship. I think this is why some of the things you were saying just didn’t add up to me, because they’re contradictory to what most truly sexually open & promiscuous people are about.

I'm not saying that's a good or bad thing, just that you're in a different category from the more open girls.

 

I think you're being a tad bit hypocritical here. You're stating that she can't be considered a sexually free girl because she sets rules in her sexual life, but you're trying to set limits on what sexually free actually means, thus creating boxes and rules yourself.

I actually think that jumping into bed with anyone the first time you meet them without any hesitation is a compulsion, and people can often become slaves to their compulsions. Whereas setting standards and rules for yourself and actually taking time to think about who you're about to sleep with before you do it means that you're defining sexuality on your own terms. That seems pretty liberated and free to me.

 

You're right. I was buying into gender roles when they suit my fancy, and hating them when they didn't. I have changed my mind, a guy doesn't have to be more successful in order for me to want a relationship, just as I don't have to be better looking.

 

Let’s not get the wrong impression here. I’m not saying she’s not sexually free at all, just that she’s not liberated to the same extent as others. And it’s not just about her rules, you can look at the history she provided and conclude the same.

You may see defining ones sexuality on his/her own terms as being liberated and free, I however see having such a mindset and rules as being rather restrictive and conservative.

 

Yeah, everybody has standards for themselves, even if they don't call them standards. You make decisions based on everything you have learned up to that point. Your patterns of behavior evolve, but they are patterns. Or call them preferences. Call them whatever you want.

The thinking behind it all is what matters the most. That defines you as a person. I don't do much of the wild stuff I used to do, but that doesn't make me a prude. I didn't decide one day that all those things were wrong, or that I regretted doing them in the past. I was just ready to do something different.

A true sexual conservative doesn't feel free to make their own decisions.

 

Huh now that I think about it, I think I'm the male counterpart of blondgrrl in terms of how I feel comfortable being physical with girls.

 

This post reminds of the meme we have in BDSM where one group of people with different preferences tells the other group with different preferences that they "are doing kink wrong" and "aren't really kinksters."

This meme, that there is One Special Way, is very common. There's the "Right" way to be kinky, and there's the "Right" way to be a slut, and even the "Right" way to be gay. Us bisexuals don't seem to count, you see.

Personally, I've never followed any set of rules other than my own. You can label me as you like, but know this: I do not accept your definition, nor your label.

This reminds me of some emails I got from people at Adult Friend Finder. I have it in my profile that I don't meet guys from out of town who are on business trips, and that I don't play on the first meeting. I got all kinds of outraged replies about how I shouldn't even be on AFF if I wasn't a "real slut". Yeah...those guys didn't stand a chance in hell of being with me. Their loss.

Yes, pretty much. I am a picky slut. A slut who decides for herself who she fucks, and when, and where, and why. Is this really all that uncommon? It's an excellent method for avoid STIs, violence, bad sex, and the degradation from hypocritical guys who slut shame that wears on your soul.

As I said, I experimented with randoms and realized that it wasn't all that much fun compared to when I got to know someone a bit and could suss out their personality and general attitude. More on this, if you like, later because I have to finish this and go to work.

Yes. I vastly prefer having a relationship of some sort with the people I share sex with. If you've ever read The Ethical Slut, that was pretty much my bible.

Again, are you the arbitrator of "How to do Sluthood Right"?

Don't worry, I am not offended. This is a very interesting discussion, and it is making me think quite a bit about things I hadn't really considered before.

 

I'm new to this site, but I must say I think this is very entertaining....not because it's funny but because it makes you think! You guys have all had some awesome answers....so in return I'm going to answer also.

How many partners have you been with? 20+
Is it an estimate or did you keep track? It's an estimate....why keep track? It's all about the enjoyment of it, right?
If it is an estimate, when did you stop counting? When I hit 10! LOL
Do you regret any of it? How many bad experiences did you have? There have been a few that I have regretted but not that it would affect my life. Have had a couple of bad experiences but the good out ways the bad
Do you sometimes question your lifestyle? Sometimes yes because I tend to think that people would look at me as being "out there". But then again it's society that has made us that way. So now my mission is to not give a rats ass what anyone thinks as long as I and my partner are happy
How have you met most of your partners? Some were friends and some I met in bars, some online through different sites (which is not worth the time)
What is your sexual orientation? bi-curious
How old are you? 51
Are you a swinger, cuckold/hotwifer, bull, john, sex worker etc.? Are you into bukkakes, group sex or gangbangs? I am a swinger. My husband and I have started in the "lifestyle" in recent months. I am looking to get into 3somes and maybe some group sex. Am trying to open myself up to the idea that "this life is my oyster and should grab every opportunity that presents itself"
Are you in a relationship? Of what kind? How did you meet your partner(s)? I am very happily married to my best friend (male). We met at a store that I managed and he was their truck driver (deliveries). He's the best thing that ever happened to me and I am blessed that we have accomplished all that we have in this life. He is VERY open-minded about sex and multiple partners.
If you don't have a partner, do you wish you could have one? Do you feel empty sometimes?
Do you have children? I have 2
Are you low, middle, or upper income? Middle if that's what you want to call it these days!
What are you politically? Don't like the politics
What do you do to protect yourself against STDs and pregnancy? Well I can't get pregnant anymore, had that little faucet turned off. But I do believe there is a time and a place for protection
Have you ever been at risk of violence from cruising for sex? No
What was the best sex you've ever had? When I was fantasizing about giving a blowjob on a cruise ship and receiving oral too. I was fantasizing about this and telling my husband while we were having sex one evening, and it was AMAZING! The both of us got so into it!!
How was the worst sex you've ever had? A drunken one night stand
Can you tell when you have sex with someone less experienced? Yes....it's like you have to coach them, which really takes away from it all
Do you prefer less experienced people or more? More experienced....that way everyone experiences the BEST there is from all parties
What do you look for in a partner? Someone who isn't intimidated, secure, confident (Things that I am really working on becoming myself)
What kind of sex acts did you discover as you became more experienced? Haven't really discovered anything new yet...unless you would consider having sex with another man while your husband watches and then joins in....had never done that before
How have you changed as a person since becoming sexually experienced? I am still a little scared of myself as I need to become more of an "individual". I am having to really look into my soul and discover who I am and what I want from this lifestyle....I am being given something that not every man or woman has the opportunity to experience with approval....it's all new, scary and yet very exciting all at the same time
When did you realize you were different from most of your friends, family, and coworkers? Early on I think...but I just pushed it to the back of my brain and refused to acknowledge that I had needs beyond "most".
How important is sex to you in relation to other things in your life? Sex is very important, doesn't take precedence over my job, but it is important. It keeps you feeling ALIVE!
Would you die if you had to be monogamous? Probably
What`s your favorite sex act? Having my legs above my head while my man or another man fucks me crazy in the ass
Are you sexy as fuck? Absolutely!

 

In reply to "blondgrrl":
I liked what you had to say about the sexual freedom issue. I and my husband too are "picky" about who we choose to sleep with! There are so many variables to consider. We like to get to know someone first before hopping in the sack. There is so much more to sleeping with someone than F@#ing! Now mind you there have been times that I have asked him and he has asked me if I/he found someone attractive and would we do them. That doesnt mean however that we would at that moment. I really enjoyed reading your post. Yes it does make you think! Society has us labeled to such a point that it's insane! We tried AFF too and there are so many "fakes" on there, or it's the guys that are such horndogs, thinking that you should F#$k them because they think they're all that....NOT! LOL