The Latest Thread of Lies....;-)

I'm not sore from working out to much yesterday...

 

it was'nt lashin' rain all day

 

In highschool i always ran for class president.

 

I have won the nomination for Drain Commisioner.

 

My outhouse has a heated toilet seat...

 

Cold is the new black.

 

There's an alien having coffee with me right now.

 

There's a mother ship parked in my back lot.

 

I was just kidnapped by a ship full of mothers.

 

Johny Depp told me I'm 'cool'!

 

Johnny Depp told me I'm cooler than Puggybear.

 

johnny depp is in my mixer

 

I've NEVER said anything derogatory about George W..

 

I drive a tank.

 

i did something that was so easy to do, a real walk in the park.

 

I just bought the atmosphere, you all owe me a mere hundred bucks to use it.

 

i was abducted by aliens today.

 

I'm wearing a really frumpy, ankle-length skirt with an old cardy my mum knitted me 7 years ago.

 

I have a vagina

 

I just turned down a job as driver for Red Bull's F1 team next season-they can't afford me.