The Latest Thread of Lies....;-)

Yes, I know. I enjoyed playing with your two of everything this morning.

 

I just swallowed a pumpkin...... ; )

 

Everything is Fine!

 

I got stopped for driving my SLK at 95 on the motorway ... but I managed to persuade the nice policeman not to book me because I'm just soooooo cuuuuuute :mickey:

 

I am not going blind..

 

I've never seen The Rocky Horror Picture Show

 

There is no reason for me to go to bed. It's only 4:20 a.m.

 

I am not sitting in front of my pc right now, shivering...

 

i met an alien today

 

I hate you all.

 

I got into a ruck with an ego-driven ponce today,and explained in a gentle tone what a jolly nice chap he was.

 

I know what 'ruck' means.

 

[ahem,for the colonials].....I had a peaceful and polite chat today with an egotistical prick who came screaming round a very tight bend in a country lane in his Range Rover,to find a 44-ton truck coming along it...at which point we had a chat about the weather,the terrible state of the world finances,just how very important he was compared to a scummy truck driver,and how he was desperate to sit on the ground holding his broken nose.

I waved a magic daisy-and Hey,Presto!....his last wish came true although I wasn't there,have never met the bloke, and none of the above happened,officer.

FUKKIM! [if I'd been there,which I wasn't]

 

i discovered another planet today

 

I'm living on the planet roamy discovered; been here for years.

 

West has just been illegalized. If you need to get to anything west of you, you will now have to go around the world eastward.

 

Masturbation has been outlawed world wide. They are watching you 24/7 using all your electric and computerized devices. Expect to be apprehended.

 

Icy-hot works well as lube.

 

They've discovered that jumbo jets don't need steel ball bearings in their landing gear ... apparently apples will do just as well; and New England real estate has just doubled in value in consequence

 

On that theme [^];I've invented a roll-up landing strip which can be carried in a van to anywhere you want a 'plane to land...merely arrive there,clear all trees,burn any remaining vegetation,evict any indigenous people,flatten any bumps,erect a McDonalds and a Customs Shed...and VOILA!