The It's just wrong joke thread

Why do you always put a baby in a blender feet first?
Because you can't get your dick in its mouth if it's the other way round.

 

Whats the difference between Garry Glitter and the McCanns?
Gary comes back from holiday with more kids than he left with



What do you call a blank sheet of paper?
Womens rights




Never getting into a Cumbrian taxi and calling "shotgun" again.




Im amazing at sex
I was fucking a girl in Haiti, and she said 'it was like the ground moved'.
I'm only joking. She didn't say anything. She was dead.




Latst world cup scores in!!! Hungary- 8, Kenya - didnt




It must be hard for a woman to be raped.
Otherwise it doesn't go in properly.




What's the best thing about sex with a 5 year old?
Getting to kick them to death in the woods afterwards




What's the difference between a woman and a computer?
You only have to punch information into a computer once

 

"Latst world cup scores in!!! Hungary- 8, Kenya - didnt"

I lol'd.

 

Yeah heard that one the other day :rofl:

 

Q: How do you swat 200 flies at one time
A: Hit an Ethiopian in the face with a frying pan.
​

 

More dead babies!

What's worse than ten dead babies nailed to a tree?
One dead baby nailed to ten trees!

What's worse than a barrel full of dead babies?
A live one buried at the bottom!

What's worse than that?
Live one at the bottom trying to eat its way out!

Terrible!

 

it`s not that sick but it makes me laugh: The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, so too the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time. Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will incur a hefty fine of $180. Are there any questions?"
At this, a male student in the crowd inquires, "Er... How much for a season pass?"
is from http://www.jokes-db.com/jokes/college-jokes

 

A girl goes up to her father one night and says, "Dad, can I have the car tonight?"
Her father looks at her thoughtfully and says, "Sure, if you give me a blowjob."
So the girl puts his penis in her mouth and almost immediately spits it back out.
"Your penis tastes like shit!" she cries.
"Oh yeah," her father replied, "I forgot I loaned the car to your brother tonight."

 

.......



Cheers Glen.

 

How does an Australian find a sheep in long grass??

quite pleasing

 

...........:toetap05:



Cheers Glen.










........

 

That one made me laugh.

 

heheh...is good

 

Three men were shipwrecked on a desert island and where captured by the local natives. They were brought to the chief native. The chief gave the men two choices; they could have death or submit to unga bunga. The first man decides he does not want to die, so he chooses unga bunga. Ten of the natives took him into the woods, when he came back one hour later he was all beaten up. The second man chooses unga bunga and he was taken out the woods for 2 hours where the natives beat him up. The third man not wanting to go through all that torture decided upon death. So the chief said ok death by Unga Bunga
read it from http://www.jokes-db.com/jokes/sick-jokes

 

A woman walks into a bar and orders a gin & tonic. She looks around and sees she's the only woman in the place, there are about a dozen men. She downs her drink in less than a minute and orders another. She keeps knocking back gin & tonics until she finally passes out cold on her barstool.

The bartender carries her back to his office, takes her clothes off and fucks her twice. He then charges all his male patrons $10 each to take turns fucking her. This is such a bargain they all do it 2 or 3 times. When they're all satisfied they put her clothes back on and put her back on the barstool in the same position she was in when she passed out. She wakes up an hour later and staggers home.

The next day she walks into the bar again. The bartender says, "Gin & tonic?" and she replies, "No, just give me a beer. Gin & tonics make my pussy hurt."

 

If the back is aft, what's the front...aft-backwards?

 

What do you call a lesbian Eskimo? - a klondike

 

How do you stop 10 black guys from raping a white girl? - Toss them a basketball

 

Ahahaha! These jokes are crackin me up!

What's the difference between a black man and a picnic table?
The picnic table can support a family.

How many hippies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Psht...hippies don't screw in lightbulbs, they screw in sleeping bags.

 

A little boy kills a butterfly. His dad says to him, "No butter for two weeks." A few days later, the little boy kills a honeybee. His dad says, "No honey for two weeks." A few days later, the little boy's mother is walking around in the garden and steps on a cockroach. The little boy looks at his dad and says, "Do you want to tell her, or shall I? "