The It's just wrong joke thread

A soldier gets transferred to a post in the middle of the desert.

He soon notices that there are no women at the fort, so he asks someone what they do for sex.

He was told that he needed to get a camel. He was disgusted by the thought at first, but after a week had gone by, he couldn't take it anymore and decided to go ahead and fuck a camel.

He had soo much fun with the camel, he decided that he wanted to buy it for himself.

But when he offered cash for the camel, the stable guy laughed and said "Camels are not for sale, we use them to go to town and get laid!"

 

you know out of all the racist, dirty, children, gross jokes, this is the only one that actually bothered me..

 

What does Michael Jackson like about 28 year olds?

there's TWENTY of em!


Ever wondered why black people smell different??

so blind people can hate em too!!


--NOT RACIST IN THE LEAST BIT, HOWEVER LOVE THAT JOKE!!

 

:smilielol5:

Oh
my
GAWD
That's fucking amazing...

 

whats long , black and smelly?

 

A little boy walks in on his mom while she's taking a shower. He asks, "Mom, what is that furry thing between your legs?"

She answers, "It's mommy's washcloth." He says, "Oh, ok." and walks away.

Later, she shaves it off at the husband's request.

The next day, the boy walks in on her while she's changing her clothes. He asks, "Mommy, what happened to your washcloth?"

She answers, "I lost it." He says, "Oh, ok." and walks away.

A couple of days later, he calls his mom at work. She says, "Why are you calling me at work; is there something wrong?" He answers, "I found your washcloth mommy!"

She laughs and says, "Thats nice honey. Where did you find it?"

He answers, "The lady from across the street is washing daddy's face with it."

 

whats the difference between a lamborgini and a sack full of dead babies? i dont have a lamborgini in my garage.

 

why is the pedo always late for work?
because he likes to come in a little behind...

 

whats the best thing about sleeping with 24 yr olds? theres 20 of em!

 

these are the worst racist jokes i ever heard:

1. what do you call a good looking paki?

Asif

2. what do you throw a paki who is drowning?

His wife and kids

 

what's Diana's favourite ice cream?

Walls.

 

Q: What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole?



A: A pedophile.

 

There once was a man from Nantucket,
who's cock was so long he could suck it,
and he said with a grin,
wiping cum from his chin,
if my ear was a ****, I could fuck it!

There once was a man from Beijing,
who invented a jack-off machine,
he put his dick in it,
at a thousand beats per minute,
and turned his poor blue balls to cream!

There once was a plumber from Lee
Who was plumbing his girl by the sea
She said Stop your plumbing,
There's somebody coming!
Said the plumber still plumbing... It's me!

 

whats the difference between jesus and a painting of jesus??

it only takes one nail to hang a painting

 

what's a white man with a four inch dick?

a myth

 

Typically jokes about white men's penises are directed at white men not having big penises not white men not having small penises.

The joke should go like this;

what's a white man with a nine inch dick?

a myth

Now for my terrible joke;

What do you do if you see your wife stumbling around the back yard wounded?

Reload!

 

A man was waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor came and informed the dad that his son was born without a torso, arms, or legs. The son was just a head!

But the dad loved his son and raised him as well as he could. Eighteen years later, the son was old enough to smoke some DMT. The dad took him to a shaman, tearfully told him he was proud of him, and got the biggest, strongest DMT for his boy. With all the natives looking on curiously, the boy smoked his first hit of DMT..

Swoooop! A torso popped out!

The gathering was dead silent, then burst into a whoop of joy. The father, shocked, begged his son to smoke again. The natives chanted, "Take another hit! Take another hit!" The chief shook his head in dismay.

Swoooop! Two arms popped out!

The natives went wild. The father, crying and wailing, begged his son to hit it again again. The natives chanted, "Take another hit! Take another hit!" But the chief ignored the whole affair..

By this time, the boy was getting trippy. With his new hands, he reached down, grabbed the pipe, and smokes the last of it.

Swoooop! Two legs popped out.

The natives were in chaos. The father wept with joy. The boy stood up on his new legs. He tripped to the left. He tripped to the right. Then he tripped through the woods and ran into the river, where an alligator swallowed him immediately..

The natives fell silent. awe .. The father moaned with grief. The chief merely sighed and said, "He should have quit while he was a head."..

 

What’s the flattest surface to iron your jeans on? A white girl’s ass!

Why do so many white people get lost skiing? It’s hard to find them in the snow.

What do you call a white cop? Police brutality

 

my prom date had a BANGIN! ass! dont know what your talking about.

 

What do you do after you rape a deaf chick?
Cut her fingers off so she can't tell anyone.