The It's just wrong joke thread

Q: How does a black woman know when she is pregnant?

A: When she takes out the tampon and all the cotton is picked off.

 

Bahahaha.. racism shouldn't be this funny, but it is.

 

Anyone know any racist white people jokes because I do believe that they don't exist?

 

How many white people does it take to change a light bulb?

Two - one to pour the martinis while the other calls the electrician.

 

woman walks in to the bar and tells the bar keep " i want six shots of vodka all lined up" bar keep does it and she slammes them all down, a bit later shes fucking everyone in the bar.
next night she walks in to the bar and tells the bar keep " i want six shots of vodka all lined up" bar keep does it and she slammes them all down, a bit later shes fucking everyone in the bar. on the third night she walks in to the bar and tells the bar keep " i want six shots of vodka all lined up" bar keep does it and she slammes them all down, a bit later shes fucking everyone in the bar. on the fourth night she walks in to the bar and askes the bar keep for six shots of whiskey all lines up, bar keep asks" i thought you where a vodka kind of gal" she replies "i am but it makes my pussy hurt too bad"

 

why did the dead baby cross the road?

it was nailed to the chicken.

 

what the differance between a pile of dead babies and a ford?

i dont have a ford in my bedroom.

 

whats worse then a pile of dead babies?

two

 

What did the one priest say to the other?

"Ahhhhh-men"

 

How can you tell if a hippie chick is on the rag?

She's only wearing one sock.

 

I've found a wood that can lower my score...It's called a pencil

 

There once was a young man from Kent
whose dick was so long that it bent
he got into trouble when he stuck it in double
'cuz instead of coming he went.

 

My young daughter stuck a plastic toy in her mouth, so I went over to her and said, "Look, your mouth is only for food."

I paused and then added, "And later on in life, cock."

My wife overheard my little joke and shouted at me, "How the hell can you say that to a 2 year old girl?"

She paused and then added, "She might like pussy."

I found this off Sickipedia.org. So wrong, I know.

 

What's the difference between a truckload of lightbulbs and a truckload of babies? You can unload the babies with a pitchfork.

 

americans arent the brightest when it comes to knowlegde of canada eh?

 

A farmer walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm and sais;

"Sweetheart, look at the pig i have to fuck when you're not in the mood."

Wife sais; "You dumbass, that's a sheep!"

Farmer sais; "Shut up pig, i was talking to the sheep!"

 

Hahahaha

What's the difference between a black guy and a bench?
- A bench can support a family of 4.


A daughter comes home from her driving exam with two black eyes.
Ther father opens the door and goes: "Gee, what happened?"
Daughter: "daddy, I was driving on the road, and all of a sudden the car went off the road and we hit this pole.."
Father: "So I'm guessing you didn't pass your exam?"
Daughter: "I don't know. The instructor died on the spot".


Two grade 5 girls are walking home from school. A pedo follows them on the street and then stops then.
The pedo goes: "little girl, let me touch you right there and I will give you this small candy bar".
Girl: "sure"
Pedo: "little girl, now let me touch you right there and I'll give you this nicer candy bar."
Girl: "yea, sure"
Pedo: "now let me just touch you there and I'll give you an even better candy bar."
The girl turns to her friend and says: "Jesus christ, by the time this dumbass fucks me I'm gonna have diabetes already!"

 

Preist- *whispers* My dick itches

Clark- *whispers* i dont get it

Preist - *screams* Let us pray

 

On a bar there is a huge jar of twenty dollar bills. A guy walks in, sees this, and asks the bartender what its for.
"Well you see, out back we have a horse. If you think you can make the horse laugh, then cry, put in a twenty. If you actually do, then all the money is yours." responds the bartender.
So the guy goes out back to see the horse. Pretty soon the bartender hears the horse laugh, and then cry right afterwards. The guy comes back in and triumphantly collects the money from the shocked bartender.
"I have to ask," said the baratender, "how in the world did you do that?"
"First I told him my dick was bigger than his to make him laugh. Then I showed him."
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A woman goes to her doctor to have a face lift. The doctor then tells her about this wonderful new procedure called 'The Knob' where a knob is put on the top of your head and every time you want a face lift, you just turn the knob a little bit. The woman gets it done and for many many years she is thrilled with the results. Eventually though, she has a problem and goes to the doctor to have it checked out.
"Doctor, it's worked perfectly, but I just can't seem to get rid of these bags under my eyes."
"Ma'am, those are your breasts."
She nodded thoughtfully. "Well I suppose that explains the goatee then..."

This is a fantastic thread!

 

how do you stop a baby from crawling in circles?

nail its other hand to the floor.