The It's just wrong joke thread

Don't you find it annoying when people leave sentences unfin

 

Today,I terrified our postlady by going to the door naked.

I don't know what shocked her more-me being naked or my knowing where she lives......:devil:

 

not really sick but funny ones i got

two drunks at a bar

''and you... where do you live?''
''i live at 212 birk street''
''wat/? no way! i live at 212 birk street!"
''oh really? so we should both go to 212 birk street and see who really lives there!''
then the both go to 212 birk street, knock the door, then a woman answers the door, and mad says

"oh great! father and son coming home drunk together!''

ive got some other drunk jokes, just gotta remember then and then ill post

 

what did Cinderella say when she got to the ball?

(Make choking noise)

 

To the bastard on crutches who stole my camouflage jacket. . . .




YOU CAN HIDE-BUT YOU CAN'T RUN!

 

Q: whats the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon?

A: ones fun to hit with a sledgehammer, and the others a watermelon.

Q: whats the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline?

A: you take your boots off to jump on the trampoline

 

You should never make fun of a retarded dwarf.

It's not big and it's not clever.

 

I just farted really loudly at a Will Young concert.





.....I think I'd better leave right now.......

 

Here about the 80 year old Lady of the Evening who sat on a barstool and slid clear to the floor?

 

Knock, Knock.

Who's there?

Dave.

Dave who?

Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

 

theres a woman on the beach sunbathing nude, with no arms and no legs.
an old man walks upto her and eyes her up.
"god youve got a great set of tits, mind if i play with em?"
"no, go ahead" she says
so down he gets playing and sucking on her tits for a bit.
after a while he stands back up, looks her over again and says "youve got a great looking twat, have you ever been fucked"
"no" she says "why?"
"well you soon will be" he replys, "the fucking tides coming in"
:2thumbsup:

 

i've got a knock-knock joke, but you gotta start it...

 

ok, knock knock

 

who's there?

 

er bigdo
:afro:

 

er bigdo who?

 

There's a new prostitute in town. She's a midget. I gave her eight bucks to go up on me.

 

I met this bird last night wearing a really tight t-shirt with 'Make Love,Not War' on it.

So-I grabbed her tits.

WTF! You wouldn't believe the fight she put up!

 

Chinese lady walks in a bank to exchange yen for dollars.
She gives the teller 10,000 yen and the teller gives her 50 dollars.
Chinese lady says "hey-last time I got 80 dollars for 10,000 yen. Why is that??
Teller says :Fluctuations".
Chinese lady says "Oh yeah-well fluc you white people too!!"

 

I REALLY told her-I said,"Damn,bitch! You're so ugly even CILLIT wouldn't bang you!"