The good inside people.

I think we remember the bed because most people really are inherently good, and when you see negativity,depending on scenario it shocks us because it differs from our base worldviews.

truth. the sad thing is that a lot of people claim 'hater' or jealousy when they are in fact deserving of negativity. thankfully it always seems to be those words that come up so that sort of identifies them for us.

 

No but maybe I should.

You do attract what you project. If you choose to walk around in life acting as if you are a rain cloud then you will only attract those who are in the same mind frame.

That comes from years of seeing people who are content to stay in a dark place and would be quite pleased to see others around them join in their misery.

While I feel for those people and would do anything thing I can to help them, I also know that I draw the line at joining them on that journey of misery. If I did so, I would be of no help to them or myself.

 

The Most Insightful, And Inspiring Post I Have Read In The (almost) 4

Years I Have Been A Member Here...

That Is All.



Cheers Glen.

 

Thank you Glen.

 

If that were the case, then there would be no such thing as good people having bad things done to them by others. When in fact, it more often than not, is good people who are treated badly by others. Just having a positive outlook doesn't necessarily mean you will always get positive vibes back from other people.

I always used to be a bubbly, fun person. (and I am still that deep down inside) It was being surrounded by so much negativity from others that eventually drove me to becoming reclusive, nervous, and very wary of other people. But I think if you are very obviously different from what most would deem as "normal", then you will experience a lot of negativity aimed at you, regardless of what your personality is like.

 

That bad things are going to happen and that people are not going to always treat you properly is a given. It is what you do with that that defines where you are and where you want to be. There also comes a time of personal responsibility in allowing that to continue and if you do then it does drag you right into the quagmire they are in. You cease to be able to help as you are in the same place they are.

There is not one person who I have ever met that does not have a list of things that have happened that were horrible but that does not mean that they have to live it for the rest of their lives or allow that to become the defining moment of their future existence and life choices.

Bad happens. Much growth and personal satisfaction also comes from working through the bad. Those who I personally admire the most are the ones who take such negatives in life and work them into a place of positive or resolution for themselves. That it may take them a lifetime to do so is irrelevant, that they do it matters.

There is a fine line between support and empathy for people and situations and wallowing and self pity. I can support someone who wants to have a pity party or wallow for a period of time but at some point there has to be a want on their part to change that or it is not going to happen. All of the support in the world can only help someone who wants to have change in them.

Negative is a relative thing and what we sometimes perceive as negative is so only to us. Owning it is also us. It is an opportunity for change rather than written in stone as being the only thing. Thus the good in people is always there just waiting for the opportunity to be realized.

 

If you're naive, So am I hunnie.

 

Yeah my brother feels like it is a stupid way to think...but then again, he's the one that hates every single person on this planet unless they "give him reason" to like them...

He thinks he's God or something! :tongue:

 

you should do that.

btw, aggressive people or ppl who seem aggressive can just be like children. youve surely seen children who blurt out offensive things, but they dont mean harm.
dont say you dont like aggressive people, but say you dont like people who have spotted hearts.

 

You only really have control over your own actions. You have no control over anyone else's actions, so if you are powerless to stop other people's negativity, then all you can do, is to try and detatch yourself from that. Which is not always as easy to do in actuality, as it is to do in theory. Although I have tried to do this to the best of my ability.

You do have to live it for the rest of your life if it's something that is beyond your physical control to change, or to do anything about. And that is defining, because there is no way to get rid of it, nor can you change others' (negative) attitudes towards you because of it. In general terms, I do agree with what you are saying. But there are certain exceptional circumstances where that would not apply. Most bad things that happen to people are just a certain window, or moments in the person's life. These things are not defining, and can be overcome. But if it's a constant black mark on you, thats impossible to get rid of, then it simply becomes a matter of how you deal with that, because getting rid of it is not an option.

I would completely agree with you here. I am still fighting (though my will does wane from time to time) to try and make things better for myself, and find a positive out of a horrible situation. I'd be lying if I said there weren't times when I feel like just giving up, but I still keep driving myself to try and make things better. Maybe it will take a lifetime to achieve, and maybe I never will achieve it, but it won't stop me from trying to make the most of a very bad lot. I also greatly admire people who have been able to triumph over adversity, and I can only hope that one day, I could say that I've joined that list of people.

I would agree with you again in what you're saying here. When something (a negative aspect of your being) cannot be changed, no matter how much you really want it to, it can lead to an immense amount of sadness and frustration. In these situations, it then all becomes about how you cope with the situation, rather than trying to actually change it, seeing as how that isn't possible. Though yes, you can only really help someone who wants to be helped. It is very easy to feel helpless in certain situations, and to let a wall of negativity drag you down. And finding the strength to come out of that, can sometimes be very difficult. In these times, empathy and support from others can help a lot, but it's still the individual themselves who has to want to, or to have the will to get out of the situation.

Well, perception of negativity (at least to an extent) is relative. In my own case, seeing as how my physical flaws and how I was treated by others due to that directly affected only me, then it just makes sense that only I would view that in a negative light. Deep down, I know there are good things about myself, despite that having been suppressed for a very long time. Before you can start moving forward, you need to come to terms with things, and I will admit that this is something I have found very difficult to do. Finally realizing the positive aspects of my being, is something that is helping to drive me on, and try to improve things. And it was empathy and support from others (yes it was only online, but it still helped me) that helped me see things that before I had blinded myself to.

I agree pretty much with everything you've said. I think empathy and support can certainly be a very positive thing to some people. But in the end, the person needs to want to be helped. Others can only help to a certain degree, it's the individual with the problems who in the end of the day has to want to get out of the quagmire they're in. If they don't, then there's not a lot anyone can do really.

 

Thanks everyone for your input ! Your right lovelyxmalia , there is good in everybody = )
I just wish that they would project it yanno?

 

I can't stand those people.

 

It's been awhile since I left some good inside somebody.

 

Ah, but you compulsively let yours out.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FTbgvYPVdXE&feature=related"]YouTube - Scrubs Bastard Coated Bastards with Bastard Filling

 

trust me, its like walking on eggshells every time we get together

 

why are you getting together with people you dont like?

 

she likes eggs

 

because its my brother...

and because I like eggs

 

Same here. That's why I avoid my father. & eggs are nice.