The coming out thread

our lucky I'm not straight, otherwise you can guess what spin I'd put on it!
S

 

Im gay and i have had anal sex!!!
jealous!! =p
xxx

 

I'm gay and have got a cold
S

 

hey guys.

i think i might be bi maybe even gay. i dont want to be. i cant sleep at night some times. sometimes i think about suiside. i know i never would really do it just because i might be gay but i do think about it.

thanks for listening.

 

Of all the threads I've read in all the forums I've posted on (and that's a lot), this post has affected me the most.

vomitsmells, whether you're gay (or bi) or not doesn't really matter. You might be, you might not be. No one can tell you one way or the other. I don't want to sound like I'm lecturing you, but no matter what your orientation is, the world would be a darker place without you.

I think about it, too. Even though I've been out for years and much more confident in myself than I used to be. I think that it's been a habit for so long that I may always think about it.

I have a wonderful family--a man who loves me even with all my faults, and whom I love in return with just as much intensity. My son is living with us after 12 long years of bitter fighting between his mother and I (over what, you might ask--well, because I'm GAY). My biological family not only speaks to me, but my mom is coming out to visit us over spring break (that is HUGE for her).

My point is, it gets better. It may not seem like it now, but believe me it does. God this sounds trite.

Look, words can't even begin to describe the joyful places I have been.

I slit my wrists when I was 14 and ended up in a mental institution. I did it again when I was 17, and yet again when I was in my early twenties. I have been through complete emotional hell for years and years and years. Knowing what I know now, if I had the chance to go back in time and do things differently, I'd do it all over again the exact same way. I am surprised to find myself more content with my life than I ever dreamed possible, and I would not want to do anything that might change where I'm at right now. All that pain (largely self-inflicted) was absolutely worth it. Not that I'm advocating slitting your wrists, mind you. All that does is give you stupid looking scars and skeletons in your closet that you'd rather not reveal. You think it's tough admitting your gay, think how tough it is admitting to your friends and coworkers that you attempted suicide on multiple occasions (I haven't told anyone in my current life about that--except my partner).

No matter where you live right now or who your family is, there are always people out there who will love you and support you for who you are. If you look for them, you fill find them--or they will find you. Create your own family. It's a tried and true tactic for people like us.

And above all, don't take those stupid stereotypes like the queer eye guys and Will and Grace and other nitwit characters as what gays are really like or are supposed to be. Some of us are completely normal (at least on the surface, lol) and accepted members of the community.

I too, feared and loathed what being gay would mean. All I ever saw of gay people when I was growing up was that guy on Barney Miller who was always in jail for male prostitution (yeah I know that's way before your time). Anyway, he was an annoying, simpering little faggot--excuse my language. That's how the producers of the show viewed homosexuals, so that's how he was. That's what I thought gays were. I didn't want to be like that, so I fought it for over twenty years.

You can be your own person. Being gay doesn't mean you have to lisp, attend pride parades, or wear assless chaps. It doesn't mean you have to be promiscuous, grow old alone, or contract HIV. It doesn't mean you will always be an outcast. I wish I could show you a day in my life. I work at an elementary school with over 100 students and I get hugs every day. Some days I really need them, and some days it's the kids who need them. Neither of us could get our hug fix if I had succeeded in my earlier suicide attempts. My son would still be living with his prick stepfather. My mom would be even more nuts than she is now (that's another story).

I know this kind of rambles all over the place, but I hope you get my general drift. Check out now, and you'll miss all the good parts.

Peace.

-C

 

Coyote Says ... Thank you so much for spending the time to type out that post, it's very inspirational and I think it says what alot of people need to hear.

 

Hah! omg... I've talked about turkey basters and im gonna shut up and stick my head in the oven now...

i like guys, love women and i LOOOVE kids...

*dies*

 

Word.

That is me to a T.

On point.

 

Omg. That was beautiful and it touches a note deep inside myself about something I rarely talk about.

Thanks for your ability to share of yourself and care about others with that message.

 

Wow. Great post and great advice. It penetrated me deeply and I thank you for it. (And I mean that in the most purest and non-sexual way )

Back to the topic...

I am gay. I'm on fire with desire. I'm pitching for the other team. I drive the wrong way on a one-way street. (and I'm not from the UK) I like playing lightsaber battles. I like to speak into the microphone. I don't like to pump my own gas. I like sucking on a faggot (and I don't even smoke cigarettes), I'm a poof.

There I said it! My apologies if any of that innuendo is not permitted here. If so, PM me and I'll remove it.

That being said, I think I'm going to come out to my best friend today. I've been looking for a good time to do it and I think I've found it. I've been waiting for an opportunity to be alone with him when I tell him. I don't want to be inebriated nor him. I don't want any distractions. (no noisy places, crowds or driving a vehicle) I want to be far enough away from his house that he can't easily get home without me giving him a lift if he doesn't take it well. That way I can at least try reason with him while I take him home. Explain that I'm the same person that I always was and that I value our friendship more than anything.

On Saturday I tried taking him out to lunch downtown at the arena (the city's main sports complex). He had some shopping he wanted to do and I agreed to go with him and drive him down there and I also offered to buy lunch (I had some coupons, of the buy-one-get-one-free variety, for this particular place). I figured that it would be empty as it was 11 AM and most events happen in the evening. The restaurants in the arena were open all day though and they are usually pretty empty when nothing is going on. Well, it just happens that a curling bonspiel was in town and the place was swarming with people. That and the store he wanted to go to wasn't open on Saturday so we went to a different store. (What kind of store isn't open on the busiest shopping day of the week?!) To put the sour icing on the cake there were no parking meters available because of the tournament so I ended up paying 5 dollars to park in a parkade.

As it turns out, I didn't tell him then. I had lost plenty of sleep and five dollars for nothing. So I decided to ask him if he wanted to go bowling, something we do together from time to time. He and I both have Mondays off from work so he agreed. The lanes are pretty barren early in the week so I think it will be perfect. We'll bowl a game or two and then tell him and hopefully he'll be fine with it and we'll bowl a few more games, this time as closer friends.

I'll be lying if I said I wasn't nervous or if this wasn't the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life. Wish me luck.

With love.

Ian

 

Good Luck....keep us posted as to how it goes !!

 

I'M BI!



It's the one I always wanted to be, dunno why. I love everyone I love everyone here too, especially on this thread. I know how hard it is to come out (I still haven't except to a few clos friends, and I come from a REALLY tolerant background compared to most people here), and it must be even worse if you don't like it yourself. I just want to give everyone here a big virtual hug'n'kiss (purely friendlily ) and wish you guys all so much luck and braveness. Some of the things people have written on this thread are so touching and beautiful.

 

I was bi before it was cool, and I was a geek before it was cool. I guess I'm a trendsetter

 

i have got genital herpies, and am making it my mission to spread it around a little, given a few people it and they are truely loving it. has anyone tried tasting the ulcer? me and my gay friend gayboi69 ( on here ) always do it, he fucking loves it.

Has anyone else had any STI's that they love?

Looking forward to doing some bum soon

Love u all, peace out peeps xxxxx MWAH xxxxxx

 

I dont know how to say this, but..I'm gay. Oh I feel so much better now. Coming out to people who I dont even know. (Just by the way I am being sarcastic). I am gay though, I'm not being sarcastic about that.

 

I dont know, if i should come out or not,i dont even know if i'm a transgender, or if its simply a perversion, i know that when i wear womens clothing i feel femenine and that feels normal, but i also do other really strange things like, sleep with men, because that makes me feel feminine, i have never worn make up or been outside dressed as a woman as i fear the ridicule, my earliest experience of cross dressing i think i was 11 but i'm confused because i'm not gay or camp so why does it feel so..........right to be dressed as a woman? when i was growing up i kinda knew i was diffrent but i still did the things expected of me, like play football n what not, i really dont know what to do, if i should embrace my feminine side and come out or if i should keep it as a fase and move on, i'd really appreciate any advise on this matter as i'm quite new to all of this

 

hey guys... im not sure where to put this but i couldnt make a new thread... i just wantes to ask help... im straight (ur probably wondering what im doing here) well... i just realized that my best guy friend is gay... but he says he is straight and he likes girls and stuff... he even told me he liked me... ive always liekd him as more than a friend... but now that i know the truth i just want him to come out and tell him to not be afraid... ive always wanted to have a gay friend... si the best thing for a girl ... my best friend has a gay friend and she says is great and actually her gay friend is the one who told her about my guy friend... i think he is actually bi cause he is always flirting with girls... anyway back to the point... how can i make him understand that im here for him and that its ok with me.. ill accept him... i really want ur advice...

 

It sounds insanely crazy but it does help to come out even if its to these internet folk it makes you feel like your not alone. sarcasm. my ex gf used that alot. I really liked her but that sucks im not "sexually attracted to her" she was to much of a goody toe shoes anyway.

 

I am officially coming out...on a forum...with no one I no intimately. Huh, doesn't really mean much. But it feels really good you know?

 

OMG! I just came out on myspace!
It feels like I just broke the law or something.