"that's what she said"

oh man.... i wish i was high.. lol.

im gonna go find my dead baby thread now..

 

A man driving his car notices a frog sitting on the front of his car looking at him through the window, and despite several attempts at driving really fast and then braking he couldn't seem to get the bastard to get off. So he pulls over and stops and gets out of his car and says to the frog, hey get the fuck off my car you slimy little green bastard and the frog replies, Would you like to buy a wardrobe?

 

WTF HAHAHA sounds like something i would say.

 

how do you make 5 pounds of fat beautiful?





put a nipple on it

 

High five for that one LOL :drool:

 

Why does the easter bunny hide his eggs at easter time?

Because he does not want anyone to know that he is fucking a chicken!

 

Now you can say it, whereas before you hadn't heard or thought of it. (the chances of that are pretty slim actually)

 

Ahhh this is the best video ever! had me rolling on my bed laughing hahahaha

(best to watch while high)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tN3iNxr2bhk&feature=related

 

HAHAHAHHAHAHA. damnnn where do you get those jokes from? do you make them up yourself?

 

This one is total schitzo, I'm half ripped and i can't work out if it is real or a skit. It's in dutch, which I struggle to understand and the best of times.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5X1VIyZe3Ws&NR=1

 

lmao, reminds me of the times when i laughed at inappropriate times...
i came to class late one day with my friend...

and in class, i started laughing for no reason at all (wasn't even high)
then my friend started laughing cause i wwas laughing so hard...

so we were both laughing so hard, we cried...

then the teacher took us outside to the hallway, and lectured us, and i tried my best to stay serious,, but i couldn't help but laugh...

surely enough we got sent to the office. lol....

 

A husband, wife and a son walk into an ice-cream shop.
The dad says, "I'll have a chocolate." The wife says,
"I'll have a vanilla."

Then the dad slaps his son in the back of the head and
says, "What do you want, fat head?"

The lady helping them says, "Why did you hit him in the
back of the head and call him fat head?"

The husband says, "There are three things in life a man
wants:

The first thing is a nice big truck. And you see that
nice big truck sitting out there??? That's my nice
truck!!!

The second thing in life a man wants is a nice big house.
You seen that nice big house on top of the hill on the
edge of town? That's my big house!!!

The third thing in life a man wants is a nice tight
pussy, and I had that until fat head came along!!!"

....
i LOL'ed.

 

I always used to get that during french, this woman teacher always used to crack me up in class and I'd have to really try hard to hold it in, and sometimes I couldn't which would only make things worse as it usually drew her attention to me and I'd get told off, which also didn't help. I always used to get stiffies as well in that class, but I'm not sure if the two phenomena were related.

Maybe it was something she said! Haha! It was probably a french thing, it's quite a sexy language isn't it.

 

not really, but boss is french, and hes really old, and unsexy.. lol.

 

I'm not saying I fancied her, but she always used to give me a boner. Maybe she was a witch.

 

lol... aWKward.... lol.

...


One day, down in the mystical forest, a magical frog was hopping towards a water hole. The forest was so enormous that the frog had never laid eyes on another animal before. But today, by chance a bear was chasing after a rabbit to have for dinner.

The frog called for the two to stop and said, "Because you are the only two animals I have seen, I will grant both of you three wishes. Bear, you can go first." The bear thought for a moment, and being the male he was, said, "I wish for all the bears in this forest, apart from me, to be female."

For his wish, the rabbit asked for a crash helmet, and immediately put it on. The bear was amazed at the stupidity of the rabbit, wasting his wish like that.

It was the bear's second turn for a wish. "Well, I wish that all the bears in the next forest were female as well."

The rabbit asked for a motorcycle and immediately hopped on it and roared the engine. The bear was shocked that the rabbit was asking for such idiotic items, because after all, he could have asked for money and bought the bike.

For the last wish the bear thought for a while and then said, "I wish that all the bears in the world, apart from me, were female."

The rabbit grinned, roared the engine, and said,
"I wish that the bear was gay."

 

lol SPEAKING of boners... i always laugh uncontrollably in sex ed, which i'm taking right now. there's a "question box" where people write anonymous questions, and people ask the funniest questions like... "is it normal that i have wet dreams about king kong?" or... "is it true that a sneeze is equal to one eighth of an orgasm?"

also... there was this one time where my teacher asked a question and this one girl yelled out "CLITORIS" and i thought about if that happened in a class besides sex ed, how awkward it would be. that had my sides SPLITTING ahahaha.

but half the class is also laughing uncontrollably, i guess we're just a bunch of immature freshman : /

 

that's what she said

 

ohhh i saw that one before! it's fucking hilarious. turns out it's a skit though, the fact that not one person in the audience has even the slightest smirk on their face kind of gave it away. also i read the comments and people said it was acted out. still funny though.

 

thats what I told her to say