Stoner One Liners

thats pretty much me in a nutshell

 

me: dude...that's a red light
friend: so?
me: dude! DUDE! RED MEANS STOP! WHY THE HELL AREN'T WE STOPPING!!!!
friend: was that really a red light?
me: what the fuck. that was a fucking red light. hahahahahaha.
friend: hahahahhahahha

or

friend: is that a cop? i think that's a cop.
me: calm down. it's not a cop.
friend: seriously, that looks like a cop car
me: it's a maroon buick
friend: holy shit, it's a fucking cop
me: okay. it's turning, we'll be fine.
friend: that was so close!

or

cashier: your total comes to 2.74
friend: (to me) find a penny
me: why?
friend: so that it will be 2.75
me: that is not even logical!
friend: dude, yes it is, i just want to make it even
me: that would make it 2.73
friend: no, it would make it 2.75
me: what the fuck? i am not arguing about this anymore
cashier: fucking stoners

it makes me think that maybe i should find a different person to get stoned with, ha.