Stoner One Liners

(birds chirping) "its a fucking pterodactyl man! (run away)

friend: are you high man?
me:yea man, im high

that guys a fucking narcotics agent man. we gotta get some james bond shit goin right now or else we are all gonna be caught

and not really a quote but whenever your sober friends are talking about something or whatever you start to say something like its real important but your thought just stops and never comes back

 

heres another one
(a man walks by with a dog) dude, that dog knows man, hes a smart one. he knows about it man. (another man with 2 dogs) see man! they are gathering! they know what we are doing! (another man walks by) dude, they know we are high! they wqant to steal our weed man! lets get out of here! we gotta go. and hide the weed so they dont smell it

 

Me: Did you see that?
Friend: See what?
Me: *points* That, man.
Friend: What, man?
Me: That.
Friend: What?

And it goes on in that vein for some time.

 

i think we all have been there

 

Good, I thought I was crazy..... or really fucked. I'll go with the latter of the two.

 

*woooah....
*hence forth child (said by me all the time to my gooood buddy callum hehe)
*i eat socks

 

lol i get really paranod with dogs too..i feel like they can smell the weed in my bloodstream.

 

My dog loves the pot. He KNOWS when we're about to smoke and he tags along and likes to get high too. Seeing a Wiener dog uber high is highlarious.

 

"Man, I have been talking for SO long!"

"Okay, that is fucking trippy...*silence*... That was fucking trippy, man."

"Can you, like, feel your brain?"

 

83.Where's my lighter?

 

"Uh, dude... you took my fucking chair."

 

Our Weed is Packed with TRUNK!

sweet i posted this at 4:20

well my clock says 4:20

 

84. Dude.... fuck off...
85.Dude.... go to hell
86. dude... what the hell did i just say?.... that's right
87. Holy fuck... that was dumb
88.wait... hold on... someone just yelled my name *turns music down* WHAT? (everyone else): DUDE! turn that shit back up!

89. Stop distraculating me... I'm conducting an important orchestra... i mean operation..

90. It's hard for me to say what I think.... and Word Talkins arent all... Brainly and uhhh..... FUCK!

 

89. You guys are a trip!

 

92. Im gonna take all of these cardboard boxes and take them apart.... and like... assemble them into one huge breakdancing mat... and we're gonna hold a neighbourhood break-off

93. Dude i got a kick ass movie idea... now what was it? hmmmmm.... wait a minute... it'll come to me

94. dude your movie ideas suck

95. I remember it now... its about... WAIT! my ideas dont suck... listen to this one.... ummmm... fuck! you made me forget it ... Im not gonna put you in the credits now

96. Why would i be in the credits?

97. FUCK OFF

thats kind of more of a conversation but it is a reacurring one

98. what a trip eh?

 

"Okay, okay, okay guys... what if... shit... imagine... dammit. I forget."

 

Shit I gotta go get some more before theres no more left!!!!! NOOOO

 

Yeah I say that all the time "oh, what the fuck was I just talking about?"

 

Or sheep. When someone isn't passing the joint because they're too stoned to remember, we call them a sheep.

 

104- ...Wait, what?
105- damnit we're so dumb.
106- you roll the next one, im too fucked.