Stoned Festivus For The Rest of Us

My daughter never did it on purpose, but the first time she tried wiping herself on the potty, she left big shit streaks up the wall behind her. It was hilarious and disgusting all at once, which I guess is kind of a good way to describe parenting in general.

 

my clothes come back full of static.. fucking chinaman!!

 

My baby niece once had diarrhea and because of the way she was laying and the diaper was a bit loose she shat allover her own back as far as the back of her head. I have been avoiding babysitting ever since.

 

during a latenight feeding with the twins, i was nursing one while hubby changed the other. dim light, streetlight from the window, and that boy shat straight up into the air bust have been more than a foot. silhouetted.
surprise laundry.
sometimes if you dont laugh, you'll cry.

 

I see sometime why i quit smoking tobacco .. Id to get some for the gf cause shes not going to spend 9$ a pack on them ,, I can get them from ryo - To me the blend is always off. this week might be good tobacco and next loose, hard to smoke drag thru shit.
I get pissed just pissed off when the cig dont satisfy me ,and this is the direct cause of chain smoking because the drug delivery isnt always the same..
I put on a patch to end all that nonsense.

 

another weird.. is this greenline og x lime skunk dab dont have any flavor. Im not buyhing this shit for flavorless high. might as well vape k2 if your going that route. damn shit urks me when looking forwards to some goodness and just waste money..
high is ok. but no flavor, nothing to hang onto... terps are very important in relationship to their action with the receptors.

 

Igot to love my girl .. shes like watch what you say on twitter and privacy and shit..
lmao.. Im like...

and what I do?

 

lol...I also think Macaulay is a dumb/weird name, and have wondered did his parents actually come up with that crap name or did he change it to that like so many Hollywood people do...

I've NEVER thought Michael Jackson was a child molester. Too many of the kids the parents claimed (much later) were molested continued to let their child go over there time after time, and this would have been after they claimed they "knew" about the molesting. So, yeah...those liars were just after money, and poor Michael was only beginning to have a come back when he got too much of that drug (I forget what it was...prophenol? or something). In fact, for him to be such huge talent, I found myself feeling sorry for him. From what I gathered (even before his death) his father was a horrible man as well as Michael wasn't truly allowed to have a childhood...which explained (to me) why he was somewhat "off", and then had the zoo type thing going on, was friends with kids (because that was probably where his mental age was outside of music) and all of that. He tried to recreate a childhood he never had.

 

this whats shes talking about cause Im back on the attack.. Now its John Fettermans turn. Mr Marijuana is going to fix everything.. Come fix this JOINT.. ha

 

when I need tobacco I try and buy an envelope of drum but they are 33 dollars Canadian for 50 grams....I buy the cheapest name brands they have...10 dollars even on the city city...12 dollars on the island...pall malls

 

shes not getting her smokes now.. same ole same when she gets paid.. nope. im not having it.. now she can be more broke buying packs and suffering .. Idc.

 

Wow, drum is that expensive now?

It is much better in joints than tobacco from a prerolled cigarette though.

 

drum is from the uk?...is that true?...

 

holy crap see r Kelly lose it on tv?...what a maroon

 

I think it's Dutch...

 

This was that song I was talking about that I liked from Old Crow. If all their stuff was like this they'd be gold. Cause you really need to stomp your feet and slap your knees to go Woooo! and Yeeeee!! to bluegrass! I've actually learned this creates a good vibe at country gigs too. I'm too nervouse to do it first, but if someone Woooo!!'s I'm Yeeeeee!!'n

 

So yeah I was in this McDonald's here and as you can hear in the background there's like this social worker I guess like she's has this client inside to McDonald's and she's talking to some other person on the telephone and I'm like wow you're really letting everybody know your f****** business so I got me a 6-piece motherfuking Chicken McNugget and I got me a f*** out of there...