Social excuses

Sounds like a controlling bunch. Some people operate with a high level of anxiety that their ideas won't be received well. If dense family (or friends) members don't get it because they won't listen or won't accept autonomy, I would eventually say every time "no, and you know why, and quit asking, and this is the answer you'll get every time that you do". No matter what, I would rather that then nothing.

 

i NEVER have "all the solitude i want". the happiest times in my life have always been when i have had the good fortune to live utterly and completely alone.

i have the same emotional NEED for solitude that others do for human companionship. the less i have to deal with anything human, the happier i am.

i have nothing against people. i have nothing against wanting them to be happy. i want people to be able to be happy. WITHOUT having to involve me to do so.

there's no "excuse" about it.

i can and do, enjoy INTERESTING company, just not conventionality, nor often.
two or three times a month, for two or three hours at a time, is as much as i need or want of being around anybody.

trains, computers, and places as far away from anything human as i can get, and all the little furry creatures that live in them, are what interest me.

humans are ugly, stupid and smell bad, but every once in a great while, they make or do something that is remotely interesting.

the main thing with humans is that they make each other unhappy. usually be making conditions that make each other unhappy by refusing to know or care how they do so, claiming and believing that other things are more important to them then to avoid doing so. they don't even, many of them, seem to care, that they are destroying the very capacity of the world they live on, to enable their own existence by doing so either.

so i'm sorry, however indispensable human contact may be to others with the misfortune of having been born on this earth, i am much much much happier, the less i have to deal with them.

 

What else would you expect?

That usually leads to emotional blackmail and manipulative, affected, butthurt soap operas.

"Awww. Ahhh. What did I ever do to you to deserve this?" "Why are you like this?" "Everyone else is in the whole galaxy doesn`t have a problem with going." "Even people who`ve been sucked into black holes don`t have a problem with going." "She would be so happy if you went." "We`re not asking for much." "Why are you so selfish?" etc, etc, on and on into infinity.

In retrospect, I`m happy with my decision to simply not reply.

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Edit: I particularly love the whole, "do things my way or you're selfish" routine. :biggrin:

 

Oh!! the ol' stand-by guilt trip technique. Controlling people use it when they don't get their way. Be indifferent.....drives 'em crazy.

eta: your decision was fine

 

You don't owe anyone an explanation, and anyone who needs one is rude. That's when you say "sorry, but my hemorrhoids are killing me and I am so constipated that I can't possibly attend."

 

Thank you!

 

I think that it is polite to RSVP.

If I don't want to attend I generally say "I am sorry but I won't be able to attend." This can mean anything from I would rather take a nap to I will be in the hospital having brain surgery. If pressed for an "excuse" I would say it is personal.

If they won't let it go, just say you are waiting for the movie to come out. :2thumbsup:

 

OMG that's the best thing I've heard as a response to someone who is pushing you! I just have to remember that one and tell all my non-social friends.

:2thumbsup:

 

I can't really take the credit for that. I am sure that I heard it in a movie or from some comedian years ago and it just stuck with me. But certainly do use it. It is a good comeback.

PS You might want to reserve the comment for something that won't actually have a movie coming out. With weddings there may be movies.