actually, age is very meaningful this instance. and yes, your age and physiological brain development does effect your perceptions and emotional well being. just remember that it's anatomy. it's not the entirety of the situation, but it does count. this isn't how you're going to feel the rest of your life. i promise, i've been there.
The only time I ever chewed on a gun barrel was at 17 years old. I look back on that and say ' what the fuck' I dont get it. I'm the furthest guy you'd ever find to chew on a gun barrel. I'm captain happy and have been since i was about 21-22 years old. I was also doing a lot of drugs back then and that had much to do with my depression.
First off man, I been on benzo's, they are a MILD high that doesnt make u CARE about SHIT. STOP taking them, get in touch with YOUR feelings stop REJECTING them. Refusing to FEEL pain also blocks GOOD feelings. If you are having problems with depression/anxiety or other psychological stresses, the best thing to do is go on a HEALTH BINGE. Its like going on a DRUG binge but the OPPOSITE. Think of it as GETTIN HIGH. Sleep early, Fight insomnia, DONT ingest ANY toxins. The only one holding you back is YOU, not your family, situation or "shit" that you had to go through. Something IMPORTANT to remember is to never judge your pain against anothers... EVERYONE CARRIES A CROSS ( I am sure you have heard that before) More importantly, remember we are all in this thing TOGETHER. SURE shit HAPPENS, but GOD/CREATOR/random act of evolution did not make you THAT much different from the rest of us. Everyone wants to be happy, successful, and loved. EVERYONE (except "they" ... those bastards...) Some thoughts that helped me PERSONALLY get over bad shit kinda go like this, they are a bit abstract. - Negative force implies a positive reaction, life is change, flow with it. - We love you more easily when you love you. - Get a backbone, get some balls- took me years but I know they are there. - Let your CONSCIENCE be YOUR Guide! You know the answers TO ALL your problems! and my personal personal favorite, get down on your fucking knees and pray. You might be suprised at how effectively the J man can enter your life. I was always conflicted about religious belief, and strayed from dogmatic views on life- take what is positive for YOU from religions around the world, they have helped countless others. I always thought of God as a being who learns WITH and through us. All I can say is that I asked for signs sincerely, put my best foot forward and tried to always be forgiving and compassionate, taking blows rather than giving them, and knowing someone out there has your back can be a completely invigorating experience. PEACE, LOVE, UNITY, RESPECT, the key ingredients for enlightenment. p.s. Dont let school get you down, its bullshit anyways. Go to class and pay attention, then go home and enjoy yourself, its not THAT hard.
ha, thanks alot for the advice, yeah benzos are pretty bad for me so I'm getting rid of everything I have. The night I wrote this I was high on those little fuckers and that is the cause of the depression, maybe I'll try some meditation to help me sleep and clear my head from all these negative thoughts.
